It's been a long...

Happy Birthday Precious girl ...

2012-01-19T20:40:00.000-08:00

K-Dawg Birthday!!!!!!!
... We had our "Cooper's game-plan" set up.
However, we're all snowed in. Who knows who will hoof it to the bar.
Doesn't matter one iota.
We planned a fabulous birthday party for you. We're all celebrating it on our own terms tonight.

You are a constant in our worlds and souls, sweet girl. Not a day goes by when each and every one of us look up at a gorgeous cloud, hear an amazing song, eat an amazing meal, watch our kids fall down ... get back up ... that we don't think about you. You have been, and always will be, one of our touchstones and guiding lights, sweet girl.
We know you are here with us.
We know you are peaceful and safe.
And ... we KNOW that YOU know that we love you.
That's all we need to know precious girl.
xoxo
Anna
p.s. DAMMIT I MISS YOU!!!! Could use a bit of your snark today.

My sweet giant may have been smaller than me ...

2012-01-16T18:46:00.000-08:00

Spent a snowy afternoon with Mr. Don watching "Big Fish" (again) for the first time in years.
It's such a lovely, lovely movie. Fabulous cast, cinematography, writing, etc.
I have to say, this time around, I was much more affected by the film. The father in Big Fish is dying. His stories to his son are big, bold, and questioned by his son.
I've been there.
I never had the chance to ask my Dad questions that I had held close to my heart. I never knew the extent of "his world." The extent became apparent after his passing.
My father was that "big fish."
A big fish in a small pond has quite a bit to protect and uphold.
I, simply, wish that I had been privy to a bit of that.
Hell, I wish I'd been privy to A HELL OF A LOT of that, considering the standards to which I was held my entire life and my overly earnest relationship with my dad.
Lesson learned.
I know my father better than most.
I know my father would have spoken the truth to me if he knew he could fix it.
He couldn't.
I don't hold that against him.
Just wish we could have had one last heart to heart chat where I could look him in the eyes ... where he could share his worries ... where I could have helped console AND council him ... and where I could give him a smack ... and then, a huge hug.
xoxo
Anna

Time to get back into "the game" ...

2012-01-13T17:08:00.000-08:00

Whelp ...
  Sounds like I've been lassoed into a voiceover gig by a client of mine that has just founded a new "start-up" with his brother. Flexible hours, recording on my own terms/time, a regular gig for who knows how long. Oh: Sounds like it pays well, as I'll be the "voice" of their company as well.
  It's an ideal situation considering the single Mama deal is a full time job ... on top of my, already, full time job.
  I adore this client. He's young, smart, and driven. So, I'm glad to help him and his brother out on their new venture.
  Hopefully, it turns into something BIG!!!
XOXO
Anna

My song to you Mr. Frank ...

2012-01-11T21:58:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajwnmkEqYpo

Had a wonderful conversation with the Roland ladies in Arkansas tonight. Strong broads, they are!
Frank introduced me to this song. It still moves me.
Silas and I are sending all of our strength and love to you and your precious family!
See you on the flip-side, Mister!
xoxo
Anna & Silas
p.s. your wife just told me her favorite memory of me was when I did a swan dive (naked) off of your diving board in the back yard. I'm, sort of, glad you missed that.

Godspeed Mr. Frank...

2012-01-10T20:38:00.001-08:00

http://www.rollerfuneralhomes.com/services.asp?page=odetail&id=26203&locid=14

xoxo,
Anna

Once upon a time ...

2012-01-09T11:41:00.000-08:00

I was given the most amazing "mixed" CDs entitled "Oh Anna, Volume 1, 2, 3, 4, ..."
Stumbled across one today. Out of all the fabulous songs, this one was my favorite on one particular CD.
And, as the sweet lyrics say, "it's so easy to forget."
I wonder why it is so easy to "forget" for some people.
Don't get me wrong ... I have a MAJOR short-term memory issue, thanks to chemo-brain. It's the bane of my existence.
I forget the "good ol' days". I forget why I said what I said, did what I did, loved who I loved, ate what I ate, shat where I shat ...
It's been a long couple of years for me, my family, my friends.
I love a good kick in the ass to remind me how far we've all come ... and, how much farther we'll go!
So ... I mosey on, and on, and on, and on.
On the "Up Side", I'm having a good time moseying!

Pleasurehead - "Seafood"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-3wcNnzwwE

Remove the tie and you will find
that the details are now complete
and hope is a word that we both hope for
the changing seasons we both need

and You're so beautiful when you shine for me
and You're so beautiful when you shine, oh

There's not much left, it's been so long
and this reflection has not been kind
So we place our hands in these foreign skys
it's so easy to forget

You're so beautiful when you shine for me
You're so beautiful when you shine for me
You're so beautiful when you shine for me
You're so beautiful when you shine, oh

e so beautiful when you shine, oh

xoxo,
Anna

New Years Eve aftermath ...

2012-01-03T20:51:00.000-08:00

Whelp ...
  I had a SPLENDID time on New Years Eve. Hung out with a loverly friend and got to take in some amazing live music that happened to include one of my pals/clients playing drums.
  After the stroke of midnight, my buddy introduced me to his "two little friends": the bottle rockets.
  At the time, it seemed like a good idea to shoot them out of his apartment window...
  After the fact ... not so much.
  A little "backfire" action occurred whilst setting mine off ... taking out my chest and FAVORITE dress, which I, promptly, had to remove because it caught on fire. I'm not modest. So.......
  After several days of trying to mend this damned wound, I had to make it in to "urgent care" today, as my entire chest is like a weepy hamburger patty. So, now my left side is no longer envious of my right side and all its radiated glory.
  Mucho meds, lots of laughs with the docs and nurses, and a heapin' helpin' of them peeling the burnt skin off of my chest to "promote" healing ... don't try that at home ... I'm on the mend.
  Fingers crossed.
  But, what an amazing New Years Eve to remember. Loverly time!
xoxo
Anna

My new favorite band...

2012-01-01T12:55:00.000-08:00

Of Monsters and Men ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tj5JO9j5jiI

Maybe I’m a crook for stealing your heart away
And maybe I’m a crook for not caring for it
And maybe I’m a bad, bad, bad, bad person
Well baby, I know

And these fingertips, they’ll never run through your skin
Those bright blue eyes can only meet mine across a room
Filled with people that are less important than you

Because you love, love, love when you know I can’t love
You love, love, love when you know I can’t love
You love, love, love when you know I can’t love, you…
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com

So I think it’s best we both forget before we dwell on it
The way you held me so tight all through the night
It was near morning

Because you love, love, love when you know I can’t love
You love, love, love when you know I can’t love
You love, love, love when you know I can’t love, you...

Lovely, lovely song.
xoxo
Anna
p.s. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Blessed Christmas gifts ...

2011-12-24T23:25:00.000-08:00

Silas and I have damned fabulous day! PJs all day. Then, we cleaned ourselves up, dressed up, and headed to Anthony's in Edmonds. We had a table right by the window and watched the sunset. Silas, as per usual, ordered his clams. The kid cannot get enough!
We came home and opened gifts and cookies and milk ready for Santa.
Today was good. We needed that calm and mellow, as we had a bit of an "event" on Thursday night.
We met up with Don at Costco to get house stuffs. I loaded the "stuffs" into my car and Silas and I headed home. Don was supposed to follow us.
After a bit, I began to wonder if Don had missed a transfer from his chair to his car, as he wasn't home after we had made it there and unloaded all the groceries. NO sooner than I thought that, my phone rang.
When I showed up to the scene, an entire city block was cordoned off. Police, fire trucks, ambulances.
After running towards the ambulance, I saw his car. A total loss. The fire was out, but the smoke was filling up the sky. The car was in completely molten.
The only reason he made it out is that an amazing couple with their baby and one of their mother's (of the couple) was passing by. They dragged him out to safety and stayed until we left ... Don in an ambulance and Silas and myself following it to the hospital.
They stayed the entire time at the end of the block ...
There are angels amongst us.
Forever grateful for those amazing people.
Don (who is not the smallest person in the world) said that the man must have had some MAJOR endorphins, as he had Don thrown over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
A holiday miracle.
xoxo
Anna

Karma, Baby ...

2011-12-23T22:26:00.000-08:00

... Wasn't too, terribly, sure that I believed in it, considering all the wonderful people that I know who have suffered so badly.
But, I have a feeling that the theory might just hold a grain of truth:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FUtMgSxokXU

"Karma Police"

Karma police, arrest this man
He talks in myths
He buzzes like a fridge
He's like a detuned radio

Karma police, arrest this girl
Her Hitler hairdo is
Making me feel ill
And we have crashed her party

This is what you get
This is what you get
This is what you get when you mess with us

Karma police
I've given all I can
It's not enough
I've given all I can
But we're still on the payroll

This is what you get
This is what you get
This is what you get when you mess with us

And for a minute there, I lost myself, I lost myself
Phew, for a minute there, I lost myself, I lost myself

For for a minute there, I lost myself, I lost myself
Phew, for a minute there, I lost myself, I lost myself

Kick-Azz day with the "Outlaws" ...

2011-12-18T22:24:00.000-08:00

What an amazing day!
Grammie and Grandaddy made the trek from Yakima to Seattle to deliver some pretty, darned amazing gifts to Mosey and myself today. Not only that, we had an out of body experience at a restaurant in Alderwood Mall.
First thing's first: We circled the wagons at my house around 11:30.
Next thing's next: We had to go to a mall ... my most hated place EVER!
I guess Hell would come in at a close 2nd. But, I still vote ANY mall a firm first.
In any case, Santa's line had an hour and a half wait. That was, immediately, a no-go for us.
So, we headed to lunch.
Wow ... lunch. We went to a new restaurant in the mall where you do all the ordering yourself through a computer ... UMMMMMMMM ... Grandaddy and I finally figured out how to do it. But, the system wanted us to triple-order pickles, or some nonsense.
Once we settled into our booth, we got our food. It was great, great, great! Now we know how to circumvent the system.
Back home, we opened our Christmas gifts, and gifts, and gifts, and MORE gifts ...
It was such a lovely, lovely day.
Thank you so very much Grammie and Grandaddy for all the love and support you have ALWAYS shared with us!
We love you to the moon and back.
xoxo
Anna & Silas

An "old" Wise Soul told me today ...

2011-12-15T21:30:00.000-08:00

"You know, Mama ... While I was decorating my Christmas tree at school, Joey was decorating his Hanukkah Menorah. Do you know what a Menorah is? Do you know it has 9 candles?"
Ummmmmm .... Wow!
This little critter has more intellect/love in his little body, heart, soul and mind than I've had in my 37 years.
He and I have discussed, this year, that other people celebrate different religious holidays.
But, I was waiting to see what he'd see at school with all of his buddies that are of different religions to expound on it.
Si and I do not go to church. He knows about prayer. We do pray together; not often ... but, we do.
He knows that I believe in a God.
But, I don't force the "sinnner/you must go to church to be a believer/all people that DO go to church are good" shit. It's nonsense.
I saw enough of that hypocrisy in my own church, whilst growing up. Amazingly enough, it was the adults that stirred the pot. Funny ... the adults, probably, never knew that the kids talked about that.
I knew that he'd have questions and I was prepared to answer these. However, I HAD NO IDEA that he would come home and tell me that he and all of his pals had been so very comfortable talking about the various holiday traditions. Could care less what other people do on a Saturday/Sunday sabbath. They all seemed so interested in each others' artwork.
It was amazing to hear this, as I am much more quick to judge than this sweet soul.
They were all so, so accepting and interested in the learning aspect of it ... as opposed to the judging.
We've come a long way as humans.
Though we still have a LONG way to go, I am amazed that my son is more educated than I was at 20 years old.
He is and will be my greatest teacher ... for the rest of my life. I choose to learn from him.
Thank you, thank you Sir Silas. You are an amazing gentleman.
xoxo
Mama

How's about a Haiku, eh???

2011-11-28T00:05:00.000-08:00

The past will bite one
Much like a starving tiger
Time to make amends

xoxo
Anna

Godspeed Sweet Gloria ...

2011-11-25T22:58:00.000-08:00

Yet another Cancer Warrior is watching over us now.
Salon Joseph has lost its second cancer patient in a month.
Gloria was a force to be reckoned with. Southern spitfire.
I went to lunch with her and Monica, her stylist at our salon, to celebrate her finishing chemo for advanced stage ovarian cancer some months ago. Her numbers looked great, as did her PET scan.
It's amazing how quickly cancer can sneak up.
She was so, so thrilled to be done with treatment. She was so thrilled and positive ... all the nurses at Swedish would comment on her unbelievable positivity. She held cancer by the balls and LAUGHED the entire time.
Though she is gone, she is a shining example to me how graceful and strong we can be if we put our minds to it. She NEVER quit. She NEVER COMPLAINED. She was so, so courageous ... in her stiletto heels.
Bless you, sweet girl.
xoxo
Anna

p.s.: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=355Fk8drgZE

Sometimes in life ...

2011-11-16T23:10:00.000-08:00

... You have to throw your balls out there ...
   Either they'll get lobbed off, or they'll grow like cantaloupes on a vine. That vine, I imagine, is the story of ones life.
   I've just thrown my cantaloupes out there. And, shockingly enough, my melons are still on that gorgeous vine.
  I refuse to allow others to be lambasted by people that feel an abhor-able sense of entitlement.
  It's, simply, NEVER going to happen while I am there to stand up for people that have been so amazing to me and my family.
  Either you're "in" or you're "out" when it comes to my family. We've adopted many folks that have no blood relationship with our family.
  I, actually, live with one. Don. He's, now, taken Silas and myself in. We've been here for a year and a half. He's an amazing example for my son.
  Family is first for this ENTIRE group of crazy and lovely souls.
  Easy choice.
  But, I have to be clear in saying: you screw my family ... you're answering to AND for it.
  Period.
  Being 3000 miles away from South Carolina is hard sometimes.
  But, I have car.
  I WILL find money for gas.
  AND ... I will show up if'n anyone doesn't do right by them.
  Period.
xoxo
Anna
p.s. Just walk in a pair of shoes that fit your feet. They have a story to tell ....

Godspeed Sweet Friend...

2011-11-11T19:57:00.000-08:00

My sweet pal Kathy lost her battle with cancer early this morning after a several years of fighting.
I spent some time, last night, with her and her amazing daughter and lovely sister.
These two women were holding down the fort. Strong as nails, they are.
Kathy, if you remember, is the client of mine that had a seizure in my chair at the salon. This led to her diagnosis of brain metastises.
She continued her battle ... chemo, radiation, etc. ... all the while so positive. ALWAYS HAD a smile on her face.
I am blessed to have been able to spend last evening with her. Got to give some kisses and secret words to her.
She will, truly, be missed. But, I am so thankful that she is no longer in pain and struggling.
Though our friendship was short lived, I am that much better of a person for having had her in my world for that brief period.
I love you, dear girl.
xoxo
Anna

Silas first school performance: The Luau!!!

2011-11-09T22:37:00.000-08:00

Okay ...
   This thing was a damned HOOT!!!!
   Each classroom had its own matching Hawaiian shirts and the girls in the older grades wore dresses. The teachers matched their respective students.
   Add a Hawaiian woman with her ukulele and the music teacher at Briarcrest ... amongst parents, their siblings, and pals in the audience ... and you get quite the fun filled night.
  One older kid, while performing his hand movements during his performance, fell off the back of the stage ... only to pop RIGHT back up like he was in a skit straight out of SNL.
   The kids, at one point, got WAYYYYYYY ahead of the pianist and the music teacher. A few parents that have kids in Silas' class were all sitting near one another. It was enough to put us all on the floor in hysterics.
   We were even MORE IMPRESSED by several older women that dressed in strapless halter tops and performed their own dance. The dance was beautiful. However, we were all sitting there waiting for a wardrobe malfunction during some of the more "active" moves in their lively performance! We were all damning ourselves for not having better "zoom lenses" on our phones/cameras for this ...
   At the end, all the adorable little ones came out on stage ... piling on top of one another ... to sing their final song. The "Hawaiian 12 Days of Christmas." No one could understand a DAMNED THING that they were singing. That is, until they got to the number 5. At this point, they were all on the same page and they SCREAMED (with the faces of Linda Blair of Exorcist fame): "FIVE BIG FAT PIGGGGSSSSSSS!!!!!!" They were very serious and committed to that portion of the song. We, as parents in the audience, were committed to NOT urinating in our chairs from laughter. The more they did it (as they counted down) the more we were in hysterics, as they just kept getting louder and louder and ignoring all direction from the music teacher.
   All in all, a fabulous evening full of such amazing and talented little kiddos.
xoxo
Anna
p.s. I would have posted pics of Silas on stage, but there was a bum-rush of crazy parents taking pics that blocked everyone else's view behind them. The rest of us sat in our chairs and decided to let the "mature" parents fight it out.

A bit of sweet nostalgia ...

2011-11-06T22:19:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOByH_iOn88

"Moon river, wider than a mile
I’m crossing you in style some day
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker
Wherever you’re goin’, i’m goin’ your way

Two drifters, off to see the world
There’s such a lot of world to see
We’re after the same rainbow’s end, waitin’ ’round the bend
My huckleberry friend, moon river, and me

(moon river, wider than a mile)
(i’m crossin’ you in style some day)
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker
Wherever you’re goin’, i’m goin’ your way

Two drifters, off to see the world
There’s such a lot of world to see
We’re after that same rainbow’s end, waitin’ ’round the bend
My huckleberry friend, moon river, and me"

Love, love, & LOVE!

XOXO,

Anna

Sometimes memories remind you ...

2011-10-23T23:08:00.000-07:00

... that you had and HAVE conviction and heart ...
And, suddenly, just when you think you've lost the flow, you find NEW meaning in a beautiful song that has ALWAYS BEEN your favorite!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNYqoAgDNnw

To make you laugh, I would be a fool for you
Although the people turn and stare
I really don?t care
I would give my everything to keep you, boy
It breaks my heart when you?ve not there

I?ll stage a ballet on a tabletop
Command performance vegas style
And although I ain?t got no tune
My show ain?t gonna flop
I?ll find the music there in your eyes

Oh me, oh my, I?m a fool for you baby (baby now)
(Fool for you) Oh me oh my (I)
I am crazy (crazy baby)
Oh me, oh my (me oh my)
Yeah I?m a fool for ya baby
C?mon let your love light shine on me
(Shine on me)

We?ll blow a genie from a cigarette
And then we?ll take a magic carpet ride
Yes we will
And we?ll tell our smokey friend, hey don?t you forget
Because you?ve got to keep us side by side, yeah

Oh me, oh my (oh me, oh my)
I am a fool for ya baby (be your)
(Your fool for ya)
Oh me, oh my, (I)
You know that I am (crazy) crazy baby
(Crazy baby) yes you do (crazy baby)
Oh me, oh my (oh me, oh my)
Whoa-oh I?m a fool (fool) for ya baby
(Need your)
Come on let your love light shine on me
(Shine on me)
Would you do that? (on me)
Come on let your love light shine
Just alittle bit (shine) right on me

Oh lover let your love light
Shine on me (shine on me)
Oh hear me now!
Oh me, me oh my
I?m a fool oh! for ya baby (now)

FADES-
Oh me oh my (I)
You know that I?m cra-a-azy baby
(Crazy baby)
Oh me, oh my.......

Thank You AF!!!
xoxo
Anna

Sweet Edna evening ...

2011-10-23T22:35:00.000-07:00

Bluebeard

This door you might not open, and you did;
So enter now, and see for what slight thing
You are betrayed... Here is no treasure hid,
No cauldron, no clear crystal mirroring
The sought-for truth, no heads of women slain
For greed like yours, no writhings of distress,
But only what you see... Look yet again—
An empty room, cobwebbed and comfortless.
Yet this alone out of my life I kept
Unto myself, lest any know me quite;
And you did so profane me when you crept
Unto the threshold of this room to-night
That I must never more behold your face.
This now is yours. I seek another place.

xoxo
Anna

Day & Night...

2011-10-16T21:58:00.000-07:00

''Pity me that the heart is slow to learn
What the swift mind beholds at every turn.''
(Edna St. Vincent Millay)

Amen

xoxo
Anna

Belated Yakima pic...

2011-10-16T19:25:00.000-07:00

As per usual, I'm late on the draw with our latest vacations. I guess it's because we rarely, if ever, get one ... not to mention TWO two weekends in a row.
Yakima, of course, was lovely. Silas and I spent the most amazing weekend with Grammie, Grandaddy, Levi, Regan, and Great Grandad and Donna.
After settling in, we attended the Yakima County Fair. Now, I'm not certain that any of you have attended said function. It is, indeed, a sight/site to behold. I don't think I've seen more teenagers in inappropriate garb in my 37 years. These girls were walking around in half shirts that left less than little to the imagination. It was a hoot! On the flip side, the boys were all walking around with their pants down past their asses ... AND THEY WERE WEARING BELTS! What the hell is the point of the belt? That's like spending money on brand new tires and letting them ride "shotgun" in the passenger's seat, INSIDE THE FUCKING CAR!
I told my "ex-laws" that if Silas ever pulls that nonsense I'm just gonna rip his pants off and tell him to just wear his damned underwear everywhere. No point in spending money on pants and belts if they're gonna end up on the ground anyway. I have a feeling he won't be one of "those kids."
All in all, we had the most wonderful visit. The seasons are changing of course. But, the valleys in Yakima were still green with beautiful rolling hills.
Thank you so, so much to the family for taking such great care of us and showing us such a wonderful time!
xoxo
Anna
p.s. Regan, you can be my wing-man ANYTIME some other adult tries to cut into a line full of kids!

Two beautiful weekends in a row...

2011-10-12T01:16:00.000-07:00

.... Remind me how blessed I am ...
   This damned laptop doesn't, however.
   Pics of Yakima and Disney Land will come soon. As soon as I can get on a computer that works.
   Until then, all i can say is that (as per usual) there isn't a day that goes by that I don't feel the love and hilarity of all these amazing creatures that make my world so rounded and sweet.
   I may have met you in a truck stop bathroom in lower Louisiana, . But, you and I are in each others' respective worlds for a reason.
   For that reason, I love you.
xoxo,
Anna

Uh ohhhhhhh ... Anna's coming to town...

2011-10-04T16:52:00.000-07:00

Lock your doors and neuter all your dogs/sheep/cows/& guinea pigs!!!
Ms. Nell Mooney ... the one and only ... who played "Anna" in The New Normal will be in town this coming week for an acting gig. Now, as she has been living in London for some time, I believe her jet-lag might possibly make her psychoses even worse.
However, I will be there, by her side ... in downtown Seattle ... to squelch any altercation that she may provoke. And let me tell you: she is damned good with a machete!
Yayyyyyyyyyy ... so excited to see my girl!!!
xoxo
Anna

What if ...

2011-09-29T00:08:00.000-07:00

.... I died tomorrow?
What if I died when I was 90?
I've been thinking a lot, of late, about how we come full circle in life. I think I've been spurred on by some really wacky things (anomalies/coincidences).
Of course, my dad's passing has weighed on me ... more than I think I've been willing to admit and address.
But, it's ALWAYS THERE. Always.
It seems that I cannot make a move or think a thought without having to tell myself "you've got ONE shot at this shit storm that is life, Anna. Fuck the clouds. Enjoy the sweet rain that they bring."
I want to look back at my life and myself and my actions and know that I did right by those that I respect, love, and admire. For, those are the people that matter most.
I, also, want Silas to know the same.
He's at an age, now, that he WILL remember the actions or inactions of those close to him. He is already beginning to recognize and form opinions about this.
I want my son to be proud of me ... no matter at what age I take my last breath.
I want him to know that I've loved him more that ANYONE in this beautiful universe.
I want him to know that life does throw you many a curve-ball. But, that doesn't mean that the ball was necessarily aimed at you. It's just that the person throwing the ball had REALLY SHITTY AIM.
And, shame on those that throw that ball into the world of beautiful souls ... especially children.
I will ALWAYS make sure my son is cared for, protected, and loved.
But, most of all, I want him to know how very proud I am of him ...

xoxo,
Anna

Sending lots of love to the Roland family...

2011-09-26T22:11:00.000-07:00

Found out yesterday that my sweet girlfriend from high school is aching.
She and her sis are dear pals of mine from "olden" high school days.
Her folks were such loving souls and so kind and loving to me.
Erin e-mailed yesterday to let me know that her father had many brain tumors and that she needed someone that had gone through the "cancer stuffs" to get some input.
Her precious Daddy was diagnosed with multiple Glioblastomas ... malignant brain tumors.
I know him to be one of the most affectionate, loving, and funny people that I've ever met.
He has gone through surgery to remove what they could reach. He moves on, soon, to chemo and radiation.
As he is stage 4, he will have a long road ahead of him in his fight.
But, I do believe with lots of strength, love, and prayers he will beat it.
Please keep this wonderful family in your thoughts and prayers.
Sending ALL my love to the Rolands tonight.
xoxo
Anna

Thousands of years ... and it still stands true.

2011-09-23T21:22:00.000-07:00

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.

xoxo
Anna

Home ....

2011-09-21T17:41:00.000-07:00

My girlfriend Claire reminded me on facebook how, very, much I adore this song. It SO reminds me of my sweet Silas!!!!
Simply gorgeous:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjFaenf1T-Y&feature=list_related&playnext=1&list=AVGxdCwVVULXcy8Qv9sIRKAg2c8Fh9nr_h

"Alabama, Arkansas, I do love my Ma & Pa
Not the way that I do love you

Holy roly, me, oh my, you’re the apple of my eye
Girl, I’ve never loved one like you

Man, oh man, you’re my best friend, I scream it to the nothingness
There ain’t nothin’ that I need

Well, hot & heavy, pumpkin pie, chocolate candy, Jesus Christ
There ain’t nothin’ please me more than you

Chorus:
Ahh, Home
Let me come Home
Home is wherever I’m with you
(2x)
La la la la, take me Home
Baby, I’m coming Home

I’ll follow you into the park, through the jungle, through the dark
Girl, I’ve never loved one like you

Moats & boats & waterfalls, alley ways & pay phone calls
I’ve been everywhere with you

That’s true

We laugh until we think we’ll die, barefoot on a summer night
Nothin’ new is sweeter than with you

And in the sticks we’re running free like it’s only you and me
Geez, you’re something to see.

Chorus

“Jade?”
“Alexander?”
“Do you remember that day you fell out of my window?”
“I sure do, you came jumping out after me.”
“Well, you fell on the concrete and nearly broke your ass and you were bleeding all over the place and I rushed you off to the hospital. Do you remember that?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Well, there’s something I never told you about that night.”
“What didn’t you tell me?”
“While you were sitting in the backseat smoking a cigarette you thought was going to be your last, I was falling deep, deeply in love with you and I never told you ‘til just now.”
“Now I know.”

Ahh, Home
Let me come Home
Home is whenever I’m with you
Ahh, Home
Let me come Home
Home is when I’m alone with you

Home
Let me come Home
Home is wherever I’m with you

Ahh, Home
Yes, I am Home

Home is when I’m alone with you.

Alabama, Arkansas, I do love my Ma & Pa
Moats & boats & waterfalls & pay phone calls

Ahh, Home
Let me come Home
Home is wherever I’m with you
Ahh, Home
Let me come Home
Home is when I’m alone with you"

Lovely.
xoxo
Anna

"Silly Girls"

2011-09-15T23:54:00.001-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_ml27pscWY&feature=related

xoxo
Anna

Nearing the end of an AMAZING first week of kindergarten!

2011-09-15T22:28:00.000-07:00

Silas has just thrived in his new school. His adorable and kind teacher is juggling 24 kids ... and is doing it with an amount of grace that I couldn't muster if a GUN was held to my head.

She is, simply, amazing with these children. The kids flock to her like moths to the, proverbial, flame.

Tomorrow will be his last day of his first week. I cannot believe this week has gone by so quickly and he's settled in so well. I'm just so, so proud of my Main Man. He's dealt with quite a bit of loss and drama these past 5 years. He rolls with the punches and makes many adults I know look like amateurs.

In my heart, I can't help but feel pain that he cannot call his Pappy and tell him about school. I cannot tell my Dad what happened with Silas and how great he was.

The (first) greatest compliment after I had Silas was from my father: "I want you to know that you are an amazing Mama." I know I've posted it previously. And, I know that that was an overly kind sentiment from my Dad, as I'm BY FAR not a Super Mama. But it will, forever, be one of the most kind and monumental things anyone has said to me.
I just wish Pappy was here to see how amazing Silas, himself, is doing. I don't claim that for myself. If you know him, you'd know how much he is his own person.
That was the luck of the draw for me ... or the timing and genetics.

The little mister is an old, old soul.

I think he came out of the womb knowing that.
I'm so proud of him.
Way to go Mosey!

xoxo

Anna

Happy First Day of Kindergarten Sweet Silas!!!!!!

2011-09-13T20:42:00.000-07:00

Dear God!!!!
  How did it come to this??? My sweet, sweet boy started kindergarten today. We were both "okay" for the most part. He teared up this morning while getting dressed. It took ALL THE FIBERS OF MY BEING to stay calm and smile and say "You're gonna have much more fun at school than sitting around the house with the dogs and Mama, honey."
  It, also, helps that his teacher is frickin' adorable! Mrs. Killin is a rockin' blond with an adorable smile and is a love-bug.
  Of course, we were the first there, as I was raised with an OVERLY anal sense of timing. As much as I try to negate that, its doesn't work. When I die, the funeral will be over by the time my peeps show up.
  Mrs. Killin remembered Silas' name immediately. The flowers he brought to her last week were sitting on top of the big box of cubby holes for all the kids. He thought that was pretty cool. She's taken such good care of them.
  Oh ... and, I noticed Mrs. Killin has a tattoo on her foot. Now, that doesn't mean that she is "cool." I think that it means that she is probably a fairly "open" person. I love that with educators.
  Silas' class is so, so very diverse. Many ethnicities and religions, it's clear.
  So, all in all, I think we scored.
  We've gotten the most amazing calls, e-mails, texts, etc. from friends and family today. We continue to be so blessed and carried by the beautiful souls in our world.
  I'm a thankful girl tonight.
  Wish us luck tomorrow. You never know what will happen once a boy settles in and realizes he has a crush on his teacher.
  Shit!!!!
xoxo
Anna

Loverly music ...

2011-09-07T22:44:00.000-07:00

From youtube ....
  Of course I don't own the rights. But, sharing is good:

   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41R1jN26b4I

  Kate Nash is dreamy.


xoxo
Anna

... Childhood for my son ...

2011-09-07T22:02:00.000-07:00

Mr. Silas met his kindergarten teacher today. I have to say I was a nervous wreck to think about him going to school and the lot.
It was a big BBQ for the school. Kids running around. Parents chit chatting about which teachers were "the best" and who won the "teacher lottery" as I saw it.
As I'm not in the know at Briarcrest, I was just so thrilled to get him in the school. So, when Kevin and I went to check out the kindergarten lists, we saw "Silas Schumacher" on Mrs. Killin's class list. First off, we both laughed our asses off that his teacher is named Mrs. Killin. I had a feeling, immediately, that I love her, considering that my first name is Dorcas.
We walked into the room (the biggest room in the school, I think) and there stands an adorable gal in her 20's ... parents and kids surrounding her. At first, I thought she must be a teacher's assistant, as she looked so young. Once I found out it was Mrs. Killin, I was ecstatic! Young and thriving = passionate.
Kevin and I introduced ourselves and then Silas introduced himself and handed her a bouquet of flowers from our wild flower garden. She said, "Well, he sure does know how to start out off on the right foot!"
I'm just so thrilled that instead of him pulling away ... as he has said he would do ... that he met her and hugged her neck so hard that I had to almost pull him off of her.
I found out from another mother ... that I had met weeks ago ... that not only are our kids in the same class, but that Mrs. Killin has had much experience and training with children with Aspergers and Autism. Now, Silas is in no way affected by these spectrum diseases. However, it DOES tell me that she has experience that trains her to be VERY intuitive, kind, and regimented with children. Boys need that. Kindergarteners needs that. Silas is a grand boy. But, boys will be boys ....
I'm just so, so thankful that he's with someone that has so, so much experience and (clearly) compassion for children. I have a feeling that that will rub off on him this year. A good lesson for him.
Plus, she's a cutie-pie, hottie-blondie that Silas will not counter ... as she's a babe!
Bless your heart Silas, she's gonna have you in the palm of her hand.
I couldn't be more happy.
Breath in, breath out.
Have a feeling Pappy was whispering to God on this one...
xoxo
Anna

Grandaddy's are always heros ...

2011-08-28T01:58:00.001-07:00

.... Even if they get their hand bitten OFF by bees....
   Silas' Grandaddy was on one of his long, long bike rides the other day. The man is a warrior.
  Gailon is peach.
  I've loved my father "ex-law" since I first met him. He and I have ALWAYS had such an amazing rapport. He's, always, been so loving with my son and myself. Quiet wit and sweet heart..... and snarky, with a twist of lime. I LOVE IT!!!!
   Apparently, Grandaddy had an allergic reaction to a bee sting whilst on one of his many (30 mile) bike rides the other day. Hand huge, ER, etc.
  He's the type of person that wouldn't complain if someone cut his Achilles heel. He'd put his head down and make it ALL okay. He's done it for us ... just saying ...
  Grandaddy is the type of person that will sit there for HOURS while you sit there chatting EVERYONE up. He is one of the MOST patient people I've EVER met.
   But, sometimes, when things get quiet ... Grandaddy and I have had some pretty amazing and sweet conversations. He's not an expectant person. He's just been there to play, play, AND PLAY with my son. And, for that, I cannot thank him enough. He has taught me patience ... that's loverly ...
   I've reached a point in my life where I don't chat "everyone" up, oddly enough. I'm, simply, fine having a quiet conversation with a sweet, sweet puppy-dog and folks that make sense to me. Whatever "sense" is, at this point in my life. I never thought that I'd become "quiet". I'm sure everyone is thanking their lucky stars. Don't blame them a bit ...
   It's not that I'm quiet. Unfortunately, it's not in my bones.
   I think that it has more to do with my mind and spirit right now.
   Gonna start a new play soon ... re-writing some scripts.
   Think it's the best therapy at this point....
   Until then, Grandaddy and his lawn mower are in our thoughts and prayers. Silas and I are already planning our next trip.
   Next time, I'm on the tractor!!!!!!!!!!!!
xoxo,
Anna

Long blog ... but, Steve Jobs' words are completely eloquent ...

2011-08-24T19:35:00.000-07:00

You've got to find what you love,' Jobs says

This is a prepared text of the Commencement address delivered by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it's likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope it's the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

Missin' my family tonight ...

2011-08-24T18:46:00.000-07:00

... Boy, this house is quiet tonight....
   Don is out of town on business. Silas is with his dad. I am left with my crazy critters. They, actually, bring me so much peace. Don't have too much time to be pensive when you have animals that are smarter than you...
  But, after being with my amazing family last month, it's quiet times like these that remind me how far away I am from so many amazing people. People that set my heart at rest and have my back ... and, vice versa.
  I miss them dearly. Cannot THANK THEM (JOSH) ENOUGH. And, wish they were in my day-to-day world.
  But, alas, we are who we are. We all have our own worlds and lives, and we are all living them.
  That's the gift, blessing, and lesson: living your life in the best manner possible.
xoxo
Anna

My world is always perfect when ....

2011-08-21T19:43:00.000-07:00

... My Hoodies are there...

After dealing with a rough month, I was so thrilled to spend time with my crazy gals (and their families) from the YSC.
Great food, great drink, great HUGE bouncy castle, and plenty of stories ...
Today has made my week.
We are such a loverly group of crazy people! I'm prone to (as are others that will remain nameless) fart in front of not only my girls, but their husbands as well.
We've all become family.
It's been a blessing for me this past month.
No question.
xoxo
Anna

Last Day in Wonderland ...

2011-08-20T22:31:00.000-07:00

I've missed my Mosey more than I've EVER missed him in my life. I'm so, so thrilled to see him, hug him, kiss him tomorrow. I get to visit and smooch on Grammie and Grandaddy. Then, Si and I are off to Colie's for our annual YSC bbq. I'm so thrilled to see my girls. Haven't seen all of them together since I got back to Seattle. It'll be a fabulous remedy for these blues!
xoxo
Anna

Silas' Week in Wonderland ...

2011-08-20T14:27:00.000-07:00

... or Yakima!
   Silas has been with his Grammie and Grandaddy Gentry this past week to spend some much needed fun-time and to get his love on! Our plans were for them to have him at the end of July. But, alas ...
   He has been going NON-STOP with those two. When I'm a grandparent, I'll be lucky to play checkers with my grandchildren. Not sure how these two do it. But, they do it well!
  He comes home tomorrow. I've missed him so, so much. With him, apparently, he will bringing an entire closet-full of new school clothes and every school supply on every elementary school list this side of the Mississippi.
  Thank you Grammie and Grandaddy for all the fun, laughs, and fabulous new kindergarten clothes and supplies. Drive safely tomorrow ... WE LOVE YA'LL TO THE MOON!!!
xoxo
Anna & Silas

I Love You, Madly ...

2011-08-17T00:17:00.000-07:00

Seems like today was a day of tattooing for all of my friends. Without knowing, we were all heading out to get permanently painted with beautiful reminders of our lives and those we love.
This one is mine.
I chose to do it in my own handwriting and of what my father and I always signed off on at the end of cards, letters, e-mail, etc. to one another.
I wanted to write it to him once again ... and keep it with me forever.
xoxo
Anna

Go, Colie, GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....

2011-08-17T00:09:00.000-07:00

I'll update as new pics become available. But, this girl went and used my favorite motto "Go Big or Go Home!"
Entire forearm covered in gorgeous Cherry Blossoms and script to honor her survivorship and those that are still here and those that we've lost due to a wretched disease. DAMN GIRL!!!!
You are an amazing friend and woman. That's why I lover you!
Colie ain't messin' around!!!!
xoxo
Cooch

More pics from a wonderful night...

2011-08-14T14:01:00.000-07:00

What a night!!!!

2011-08-14T01:53:00.000-07:00

Whelp ... tonight proved to be a fabulous evening. I, certainly, needed it. My sweet pal/coworker Monica had her "house warming." And, warmed it we did. So, so much fun. So many great folks. Great food, drink, & conversation with amazing folks.
The neighbors even came over ... that's pretty telling ...
Congrats on the "new" house Ms. Monica.
We love you.
xoxo
Anna

Gotta give props to the "bold ones"

2011-08-10T00:48:00.000-07:00

Whilst on my visit to the local Shell station for a bottle of wine and some Easy Cheese, I was honored to meet a "gentleman" that commented on my "bitchin' rack." Whelp, not one to be rude, I thanked him for said compliment with "Hey, thanks M'Dear ... looks like you're only packing a half-rack (pointing at his beer). I've got a good plastic surgeon if you're wanting to upgrade."
Holy Havardi ... if these dudes are getting laid, I STILL say I'm saving myself a trip to the Free Clinic.
xoxo
Anna

And then there was "Me Hoodies ..."

2011-08-09T21:50:00.000-07:00

Yet again ...
   I have one of the bestest group of crazy friends a human could admit to knowing. Actually, many of my lovely pals and family are that. I'm gonna own up to it, as I know many wouldn't claim these people. They couldn't, as most don't experience this type of love and friendship. The most amazing people that I have come to know are the ones that don't mind making COMPLETE asses of themselves, as they laugh and trudge through the heap of shit that life throws at them. The difference is that they make that gargantuan heap of feces look like a mound of roses.
  Takes a a special person(s) to do so.
  I, fortunately, have that in my world.
  Don't quite know why I ended up so lucky.
  All I know is that they are all crazier than a "shit-house rat" ... but, are more lovely and amazing than that mound of roses that they created. The smell ... well, I cannot answer for them on that one.
  But, I'm so infinitely grateful for my precious peeps and my surprise visit from my Sarah T tonight.
  It lifted my spirits so very, very much!
  Thank you girls. Yet again, you have proven to be the most gorgeous rocks that I've ever "owned."
xoxo,
Cooch

... hard evening ...

2011-08-03T22:36:00.000-07:00

This whole grieving thing is for the birds. I was fine all day. Making it over "the hump", so to speak. I can NEVER imagine working anywhere else during this time. My salon co-workers are my heart. So, so fortunate to work with such an amazing "family." And they are that: family.
But, late at night ... when my babe is asleep and the house is quiet ... I cannot help but reflect.
Cancer: I knew what I was up against and I knew what I needed to do to fix it.
This is a totally different battle. I cannot do anything to fix this. I cannot do anything to bring my dad back. The only thing I can do is to honor him. Honor what he did for me in the 36 years that I knew and loved him.
So, I'll share, again, "our song." Dad and I decided that "Midnight Train to Georgia" was IT: when I was in high school. Gladys Knight and Pips, for some reason, spoke to us when we were boogying. After looking at the lyrics tonight, it seems fairly prophetic ... especially considering that we danced to it in the early 90's:

L A proved too much for the man

[He couldn't make it]
So he's leavin' the life he's come to know
[He said he's goin']
He said he's goin' back to find
Ooh, what's left of his world
The world he left behind
Not so long ago
He's leavin'
On that midnight train to Georgia
Said he's goin' back
To a simpler place in time
And I'll be with him
On that midnight train to Georgia
I'd rather live in his world
Than live without him in mine
He kept dreamin'
That someday he'd be a star
But he sure found out the hard way
That dreams don't always come true
So he pawned all his hopes
And he even sold his old car
Bought a one way ticket back
To the life he once knew
Oh yes he did
He said he would
He's leavin'
On that midnight train to Georgia
Said he's goin' back to find
A simpler place in time
And I'm gonna be with him
On that midnight train to Georgia
I'd rather live in his world
Than be without him in mine
He's leavin'
On that midnight train to Georgia
Said he's goin' back to find
A simpler place in time
And I've gotta be with him
On that midnight train to Georgia
I'd rather live in his world
Than be without him in mine
Go, gonna board, gonna board
The midnight train to Georgia
Gonna board the midnight train
Gotta go, gonna board
Gonna board
Gonna board the midnight train

Dancing with him as a teenager to this song, I never imagined why or how we picked this song as "ours." Makes TOTAL sense to me now. I'm trying to look at it as a blessing and an amazing intuiton on his behalf...... especially considering that he looked my step-Mama in the eyes and said "I'm gone." Hmmmmm ....
I can assure you, I ain't leaving without a fight. I'm gonna die an OLD, crazy lady.
But, part of me has left this world. It left with Pappy.
I find comfort in the "simpler place and time." I have hopes that we ALL find this some day. Sooner rather than later would be my wish for everyone.
Until then, we march on....
xoxo
Anna

And life marches on...

2011-08-02T21:55:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday Sweet Kurtis. Happy Birthday to you.
My sweet little nephew was born this evening ... all 8 pounds and 7 ounces. He's a beautiful little man. His mama is safe and sound. After a long labor, he was delivered by c-section.
He's blessed with amazing parents.
My hope for him is to remember that he will always be cherished, loved, and supported.
And I know he will be.
From Enigma:

Love (Love, Love)
Devotion (Devotion, Devotion)
Feeling (Feeling. Feeling)
Emotion (Emotion, Emotion)
Don't be afraid to be weak
Don't be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart my friend
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence
The return to innocence
If you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself don't hide
Just believe in destiny
Don't care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don't give up and use the chance
To return to innocence
That's not the beginning of the end
That's the return to yourself
The return to innocence

Never forget how much you are loved. NEVER let others' judgements of you make you question yourself ... ESPECIALLY when you are doing the right thing. Always trust your heart and soul. Always try to do the right thing ... and if you don't, lean on the friends and family that stuck by you when you didn't. Those will be the ones that will stick it out with you through thick and thin. They'll remind you of who you are and who you are meant to be. AND, they will love you for being able to be there to do so. Fall off that damned bike. Get up. Fall off again ... and again ... and again ... until you know the right time to put your feet down. Don't believe anyone that says that "7 minutes in heaven" is heavenly. It's not.
Learn to drive a stick shift before driving an automatic. In my experience, it's helped out that I learned that at 11 years old ... I won't expound on that, as certain people (Angi) might be implicated.
Swim nekkid. Go bare foot ... everywhere. Kiss your Mama and Daddy for no reason.
You've got an amazing life ahead of you. LIVE IT, MY DEAR FRIEND!!!!!
I love you, sweet one.
xoxo
Auntie Anna

p.s. Can't say I'm a huge fan of Enigma. But, this one speaks the truth at this moment...

Back to my NEWEST "New Normal" ...

2011-07-30T14:51:00.000-07:00

Silas and I arrived back in Seattle late, late last night. Not so bright-eyed ... but, definitely bushy-tailed.
Our weeks spent in South Carolina will, forever, be some the most difficult AND beautiful of my entire life.
The outpouring of love and prayers and support, certainly, helped carry our family through this most difficult time. Walking into my Daddy's house for the first time without him there took my breath away. The pictures. The smell of him. His shoes. His hammock. His favorite coffee cup. A forgotten plastic covering to a syringe that was used in a futile attempt to save his life ... that was hidden until Silas found it. His tractor that he would take Silas on rides on ... for hours. His truck. I could go on and on about what hurts my heart so, so very much. Mostly, I will never feel his arms around me or hear his voice of love and reason ever again.
However, what overshadows all of that hurt is what we, as a family, have been blessed AND left with. We have the most amazing family the world has known. Yes, indeed. I'll be cocky about that. We have the most amazing friends ... all of us. The amount of food, flowers, visitors, prayers, food, prayers, laughs, hugs, kisses, more laughs, and many late night conversations has sustained us and lifted us up during this saddest of times.
Though Dad's passing was sudden and tragic, I wouldn't change the way he went. He has always says that he didn't want to linger. Never wanted to sit in a bed ... wasting away.
Right before he passed, he started humming ... nearly unconscious ... he was harmonizing with someone. The 911 dispatch asked my Step-Mama what he was doing. She said, "I don't know why, but he's singing".
My father never harmonized with anyone except his own father. A force of nature himself, my Pop passed last year. Can't harmonize unless someone is singing with you, right????
Something tells me that my father wasn't singing for his own entertainment at such a moment.
Something tells me he had someone with him and guiding him into comfort and peace.
In that, I, myself, find peace.
What an amazing man you are, Dad.
I miss you dearly.
Hold you closer than ever.
And, I LOVE YOU, MADLY, dear friend.
Anna

Heartbreaking goodbye to my Hero...

2011-07-15T01:48:00.000-07:00

I love you Dad. I don't know how to wrap my mind around your sudden passing. My heart and soul are ABSOLUTELY broken. I can, honestly, say I've never felt this kind of hurt in my entire life. Godspeed, sweet friend, father, grandfather, soulmate, hero ...
Life will NEVER be the same without you here with us.
"I love you, MADLY."
XOXO
Baby Girl

Another Sweet Angel ... disconcerting doesn't describe it ...

2011-07-12T01:28:00.000-07:00

... this year has been like the smell and/or eating of a heap of road kill topped with hog diarrhea for the survivors of the YSC.
The suffering continues for many of our girls ... regardless of staging. The many unexpected deaths of our dear girls this past year has taken us ALL off guard. The shock is off the charts. Seems like this year has us all on a fast running train and, randomly, one of our dear girls gets yanked off.
It's surreal.
One minute you're chatting with someone. The next, they are gone.
We are like a beautiful song in some ways. So, so well written and strong. But, there is always the chorus that pulls at your heart strings and is what TRULY makes you question yourself and the "song" itself ... whether you understand it or not.
Debra Czawursky is our newest angel: our latest choir director, if you will.
Sleep well tonight, Sweet Deb.
Godspeed.
xoxo
Anna

Life can be so DAMNED unfair...

2011-07-08T10:07:00.000-07:00

... for people that have already had to deal with so, so damned MUCH! Take, for example, my sweet girlfriend Carol. The lady was diagnosed over 5 years ago with breast cancer. Had 2 young babes. She fought "The Beast" and kicked its ass.
But time marches on. Life begins to become a bit more "normal". The cancer world is, and always will be, a part of our lives. But, the further out we get, many of us (survivor folk) can go for more than 3 seconds without thinking about.
Unfortunately for her family, cancer struck again.
This time, it was her husband. M was recently diagnosed with testicular cancer. He's a young and very healthy man. To say it was a shock is QUITE the understatement. However, they marched through the diagnosis and surgery like true warriors.
Yesterday, M had his first chemo. One of "only" two that he will be recieving. I'm so thankful that he'll only have 2 treatments to battle.
This family has been such a blessing and of huge support of my own.
I send ALL my love, prayers, kisses, hugs, Grey Goose wishes, and smacks on the head to this amazing family. I know they will rally and rise above it all ... as they've ALWAYS done in the past.
Love y'all.
xoxo
Cooch

Love to the Hollon family...

2011-07-06T22:57:00.000-07:00

Many moons ago ... when I was a freshman in college ... I was able to find some reprieve (from freshman dorm life) in housesitting for a family friend. I babysat for their sweet baby girl and would watch their house and adorable Dalmatian when they went out of town.
Today my sister called with the horrific news that the father of the family, Mitch, was struck by a truck while on his bike. He was thrown over the bridge into the marsh below.
Mitch died.
He leaves behind a beautiful family. He leaves behind a gaggle of great friends. He leaves behind a legacy of being a fabulous physician.
You know the weird thing????? The first time I fell in love with the scent of Freesia was at their house when I was house sitting. His wife had this great bubble bath soap. After housesitting for them for some time, I ended up buying freesia perfumes and such. Wore it all through college. Still do.
Godspeed Mitch. You are TRULY loved.

http://www.postandcourier.com/news/2011/jul/05/bicyclist-knocked-james-island-connector-following/

xoxo
Anna

J & S's "slumber party" ....

2011-07-01T17:28:00.000-07:00

Poor Jaden. Wearing Silas like a "meat coat" all night long must have been really comfortable!
xoxo
Anna

As if I needed more brain issues ...

2011-07-01T17:27:00.000-07:00

I've decided that it would best for me to dress in bubble wrap from here on out. It would also be best to stay away from door frames when your dogs are excited about going for their evening walk. My "sweet" Otis got overly excited on Monday evening and started to bolt out of my front door. I, ever the "genius, thought it a good idea to try to grab my 90 lb Wolfhound in fool gallup. Apparently, that wasn't the best of options. Thankfully, Don had just gotten home and shuttled me to the ever "charming" Steven's hospital that has just been taken over by Swedish. Have to say, it's clear that Swedish hasn't gotten all of the kinks out.
The doctor asked me if I was afraid of needles and stitches. I couldn't help but get a case of the giggles and said "have you looked at my chart? I just need to know how many more days until I can take them out myself and we'll be good to go." He was a great guy whose mother is a BC survivor. So, he "got" it.
Hours later ... 6 stitches ... a concussion ... not being able to "procure" medical supplies from cabinets when the nurse was out of the room (as they didn't have shit up in there), we headed back home where my dogs still had their leashes on and were looking at me like I had let them down horribly ... for not taking them for their walk.
Just another day in the life of a dingbat that keeps getting more "dingbatty."
xoxo
Anna

To my beloved lady "E"...

2011-06-20T23:21:00.000-07:00

Miss E has stumble across some MAJOR monetary issues due to cancer. Bills pile up. And, then they pile up again ... and again ... and again ...
E has to move, as her bills don't afford the opportunity for her to keep up her own home.
HER OWN FUCKING HOME!
E has medical issues, due to radiation, that don't let her sleep too terribly much because of pain.
E has been one of the BIGGEST cheerleaders of the YSC.
She stayed with me when she was in Seattle a few years ago when she was on a business trip.
She is amazing.
She is not alone.
I live in my converted garage bedroom.
This is what life has dealt us. Not fair ... NOT ONE BIT. Having to pay bill after bill. Having to compromise. Having to wonder which bill is the best to pay when you don't have enough to pay them all.
Sending my love to you tonight E. So glad to hear your sweet voice tonight and know that you're doing okay.
And, you WILL be okay. You are amazing, sweet girl.
xoxo
Anna

Sometimes ...

2011-06-18T22:05:00.000-07:00

... We are blessed enough with having people in our lives that have been our cheerleaders when, maybe, we only had but a few. Those folks tend to stick in for the long haul.
I have one in mind tonight.
Just because ...
I love said precious Cheerleader and everything I've been bestowed by their eternal friendship.
The years have been long ... but, it seems like just yesterday when ...
xoxo
Anna

Godspeed "Tink" ...

2011-06-16T23:15:00.000-07:00

A new angel awaits us.
Tracy lost her battle with cancer.
It was a shocking ending to a beautiful battle, as that sweet woman was such a fighter: for other survivors, for the cause of animals, and for her plans to raise a child. She and her husband, Romeo, fought very hard to make sure they could raise a child of their own. That child would have been so, so blessed.
The chemo that she was on was, clearly, too much for her tired body to handle.
I got word early this morning that she had left us.
I'm still shocked.
Why does this disease take us so RANDOMLY???? Those of us left behind wait for the other shoe to drop. The first (hidden) question in our minds is "Am I next????"
We wonder why we were "saved" for the next minute, day, month, year. It could be any one of us tomorrow. Not lost on us. That's the hard part. We live our lives knowing that we are NOT safe. We all know the stats, the studies, the odds ...
We, also, live our lives mourning our heros; women that have faced what we fear.
The YSC girls are mourning after many setbacks during the past few months. It's been a cluster-fuck of Awful. Too many ladies having to reset their realities to answer to Cancer.
However, those ladies have the biggest BALLS I've ever seen.
Circling the wagons as I type.
Tink, you are missed. You are loved. And, you're a true warrior.
I'll be sure to chat to you later when my head's on my pillow.

xoxo
Anna
p.s. I'll meet you some time later at the Possum Holler!

More Cave Singers musical loving ..

2011-06-16T01:15:00.000-07:00

Beautiful song ... they are, simply, amazing. They'll be getting back to Seattle, soon, after a long tour.
This song reminds me of my first love ... I guess, the passion in it and the immediacy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ak7wN1rY0qU

xoxo
Anna

Holding up my sweet YSC pal Tracy/"Tink"...

2011-06-15T22:20:00.000-07:00

Please keep sweet "Tink" in your hearts and prayers.
She is nearing the end of her battle with cancer after a sudden set back.
She has chosen to go home and spend her last days being cared for by hospice, surrounded by friends and family.
My heart is with you sister.
xoxo
Anna

Please say a little prayer ...

2011-05-19T22:48:00.000-07:00

Budge Brown lost his wife to breast cancer some years ago. He started a winery named Cleavage Creek in her honor ... 10% of proceeds go to the cause. Not only that, but the models on the wine labels are all survivors themselves.
Budge has an affinity for flying. His plane was reported missing yesterday. The following is an article, including specifics. Please send a prayer:

http://www.tracypress.com/view/full_story/13342299/article-Local-pilot-missing--feared-crashed-?instance=home_news_lead_story

xoxo
Anna

I CALL BULLSHIT!!!!!!

2011-05-11T21:19:00.000-07:00

This is an ABSOLUTE miscarriage of "justice" in regards to the judicial system. The following link from CNN shares the story of a stage four breast cancer survivor and the ruling of a judge that said she could no longer have custody of her children ... thus, bestowing custody to the father.
The woman, by the way, is functioning just fine ... AS ARE MANY OF MY STAGE 4 GIRLFRIENDS. Most would never know that that these girls are metastatic. My girls are raising their children, married or not. They thrive on the fact that they are continuing to live the BEST life they can and be there for their children and spend time with the most precious things in their world.
This judge needs a good ass kicking!

http://www.cnn.com/video/data/2.0/video/bestoftv/2011/05/11/exp.nr.hostin.cancer.mom.fight.cnn.html

xoxo
Anna

My Drunk Kitchen ala Youtube....

2011-05-10T23:16:00.000-07:00

My sweet girlfriend Luchi just sent me an e-mail with this link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTyotI3IHFQ

This is one of several hysterical episodes.
If this doesn't make you laugh out loud, you might need a lobotomy.
xoxo
Anna
p.s. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY LUCH & PAUL!!!!

My other "kids" that spent a beautiful day with us ...

2011-05-08T23:18:00.000-07:00

My furry babes Tootsie & The Odor. They keep Silas & me laughing ... Willie decided he didn't want a photo today.
xoxo
Anna

What a brave soul ... from CNN...

2011-05-08T21:06:00.000-07:00

CNN) -- A Canadian man who blogged about his battle with cancer has died, but not without leaving a post-mortem message.
"Here it is. I'm dead," read the last internet post of Derek Miller, who died last week after more than four years of blogging about his struggle with colorectal cancer.
"In advance, I asked that once my body finally shut down from the punishments of my cancer, then my family and friends publish this prepared message I wrote -- the first part of the process of turning this from an active website to an archive," he wrote on his blog, penmachine.com.
A day after his death, a longtime friend, Alistair Calder, published the final message.
"I felt as though I was putting Derek's ... last moments on the web," Calder said. "It was really, really, really hard."
Meanwhile, news of Miller's death -- and his final post online -- went viral.
The site "got 3 million visitors and it shutdown," said Miller's wife, Airdrie.
The 41-year-old writer and musician of Banbury, British Columbia, left behind two daughters, Marina, 13, and Lauren, 11.
"There can't be answers today," he wrote. "While I was still alive writing this, I was sad to know I'll miss these things -- not because I won't be able to witness them, but because Air, Marina, and Lauren won't have me there to support their efforts."
Airdrie Miller said her husband "was always a blogger."
"He'd been blogging prolifically for 10 years," she said.
Miller had written about his physical deterioration, documenting his chest cough, abdominal pain, voice loss, and the emotional toll of wearing diapers and becoming housebound.
"I'm at the point with my cancer that the car has finally bumped down off the pavement and we're driving on gravel now," he said in one of his final posts. "What I mean is, the end of the road is somewhere up ahead, not too far, and I'm not going back to smooth speedy travel, ever."
His writings discussed a range of topics from his craving for Diet Cherry Coke to his "Living Wake," which his family held for him in March.
His blog also connected him with a man named Jean-Hugues Pierson, a French citizen diagnosed with colorectal cancer on the same day.
"I could talk with someone who had to live the same experience," said Pierson, who had been able to battle his cancer into remission.
"Together we made our way through treatment in part by sending messages back and forth online," Miller posted on April 23.
Last month, Pierson traveled to British Columbia to visit Miller.
"I'm amazed JH would take time and spend money to see me," Miller wrote. "But it is our last chance, because it's my last chance, my last Easter, my final spring."
He died Tuesday.

Happy Mother's Day to all the Mamas in my life ...

2011-05-08T17:47:00.000-07:00

Wow ... what a fabulous day Silas and I have had!!!!
We went on a date for lunch at Claim Jumpers. He was dressed in his best Batman garb. So, everyone was VERY safe ... while we were there. We followed that by heading to Fantasia Fun Park. Though I have crappy luck, today wasn't that day! I was walking up to one of the machines and it yelled "Jackpot!" The was followed by 200 tickets being spewed out. I hadn't even put a damned token in the machine. Soooo ... Mr. Silas left with a brand new basket ball, candy, and all sorts of trinkets.
On a different note, I send all of my love to all the wonderful Mamas in my life. My own went on a fabulous fishing expedition with my brother this morning. They caught THE HELL out of some HUGE bass.
Lastly, I send all my love to my girls that aren't with us any longer. Those that have young children that had to spend Mother's Day without their own Mamas. It gives me a pit in my stomach and I try, daily, to move past it. But, I cannot ... don't think I ever will.
So, Happy Mother's day to everyone. We are so blessed to be able to be here watching our babes grow and grow.
xoxo
Anna

It's apparent I was there, but ....

2011-05-06T23:41:00.000-07:00

I remember the photo shoots. I don't remember most of the photos. These are a handful of photos that are "out there." My young(ish) days. Oh boy ... what we forget. Thank you chemo.
xoxo
Anna

Garfunkel and Oats Strike again!!!

2011-05-06T15:40:00.000-07:00

Cannot get enough of these ladies. Wow, how this song hits home!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKQx3x6IZMA&NR=1&feature=fvwp

xoxo
Anna

Ahhh ... Track and Field day ...

2011-05-06T06:00:00.000-07:00

... Of days gone by....
You remember those days, right? Those spring days that we were so excited about because we weren't holed up in that damned classroom. We would have DONE ANYTHING to get our asses out of those desks in elementary school. Track and Field Day was that perfect excuse. I say this, as my Mama just sent me an e-mail that they are having theirs at the glorious Jefferson Elementary in York, SC today. Bless those teachers' hearts. Those kids are gonna be so jacked up on adrenaline and such that they are going to want to retire.
I can remember track and field day as being a double-edged sword, of sorts. I'm not a gal that has EVER liked anything whose intended purpose is to raise my cardiovascular levels too terribly much. Not one bit.
Now, I was a gymnast and figure skater. These, however, I consider artistic. I was telling a story as I was moving. I wasn't just jumping and flipping around a track for 5-15 minutes. I guess the "art" was more of a diversion for me.
In any case, that damned track and field day was great, as we got to hang out with all of our pals ... sit in the back seats of the bus, as that's where the "cool" kids sat ... and, NOT be inside our school. Unfortunately for me, combining my hatred of forced-cardio and my less than miniscule stature, I was not the track and field super star. The only time that I did "okay" was when I was on a relay team and my poor friends were good enough to make up for my lack of speed. Bless their hearts.
I'll tell you one relay that I rocked: HULA HOOPING!!!! Not sure that that counts ... OR is something at which pre-pubescent girls should excel (for obvious reasons) ... but, hey, we all have our niches.
xoxo
Anna

SHAZAM!!!!

2011-05-02T15:27:00.000-07:00

That's all ...
xoxo
Anna

Guess who just bit the dust???!!!

2011-05-01T20:28:00.000-07:00

"I have never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with
great pleasure." -Mark Twain

Uh ohhhhhhhhh .... Well, well, well!!!! It appears that the "brave" Bin Laden, who has been "fighting" so hard and long in the treacherous mountains of Afghanistan, has been killed in A MANSION IN PAKISTAN. My, my, my. The same person who has lead thousands of terrorists in MASS MURDER has had his ass in a fucking butter tub for who knows how long. So, as all of these people are holed up in the mountains wreaking havoc, their "fearless" leader had been spending a nice "spa day" in a fucking mansion????
WHAT AN F-ING PUSSY!!!!!
Not that we needed a reminder. I just find it SWEETLY ironic that he died the way he did. How awesome to have that stamped on your death certificate: "Brave, brave 'hero' dies in palatial mansion..." Good riddance Asshat! I have a feeling that those "virgins" you were looking forward to might have a nasty case of the Clap. Rumor has it that there's no penicillin in Heaven.
xoxo
Anna

In Memory of Mama Eagle...

2011-04-28T13:37:00.000-07:00

This image is what has been left in place of the beautiful streaming images of the infamous Eagles' nest at Norfolk Botanical Gardens ... it can be found on WVEC-TV's website where the streaming video use to run 24/7.
When my Mother in Law Told me the other morning that the Mama Eagle had been struck and killed by a plane, I was a hot, hot mess. Hadn't cried that hard in some time. I'm not certain why it affected me so much. But, I know it's affected thousands of people. These same people waited with bated breath to see if Papa Eagle would return. In fact, he did. But, at their age, these Eagle babes are gonna be needing more than one parent to keep them fed and hydrated as the temps soar on the East Coast.
It was decided that the 3 Eaglets be removed from the nest and taken to a refuge where they will be raised and then released back into the wild.
THANK GODDDDDDDD!!!
Don't know if I could have taken more of the proverbial "train wreck." I swore to my sis, Angi, that I wouldn't look at the darned video of the babes alone in the nest. But, I couldn't help but check back in to see if Papa returned. Good thing my M-I-L called early Tuesday AM to tell me that they had been taken by scientists ... I would have clicked on the link and thought they'd thrown themselves to their deaths. Arghhh ...
In more LOVERLY news:
I TALKED MY SURGEON INTO LETTING ME GO BACK TO WORK LATE NEXT WEEK!!!!
Yeeeeeee Hawwwwwwwww! I'm going stir-crazy up in here. Silas and I, left to our own devices, have a ball. But, we're running outta things to do when I am temporarily physically-challenged ... especially when it means we stay in the same house for weeks on end. I know it's earlier than I was "quoted", considering the Staph infection has still left my belly open. But, I've become a master belly-dresser. So, all will be just fine.
I look forward to getting back and seeing my fabulous co-workers and clients. I miss 'em dearly.
That isn't the most common of occurrences in the work-a-day world. I'm blessed.
xoxo
Anna

Please Vote for Henta ....

2011-04-26T14:07:00.000-07:00

Henta is a fabulous client of mine whose gorgeous music was nominated for a grammy last year.
This year, her gorgeous song "Rain" is in an Earth Day Competition.
All you need to do is follow the link and follow the instructions (e-mail address, download, etc.). I believe that once you get it downloaded, that is considered your vote.
But, as we know, I'm not the most tech savvy.
I'll include both the link AND her e-mail to me so that she may clarify it better than I have.
Thanks so, so much in advance.
xoxo,
Anna

http://earthday.sonicbids.com/BandDetails.aspx?b=28548&sr=false&bn=Henta

Hey Anna, me again

If you're feeling up to it, is there any way you would consider voting for my song Rain please in this Earth Day competition? if you like the song, just click on the download button, then give your email (which you will need to verify), then you get a FREE download of the song which counts as one vote.

Here's the background on the song: Rain is an emotive song about survival and the immediate need for positive change. It is both symbolic in terms of presenting a potentially bleak time when we no longer have natural resources due to us neglecting our earth and also literal, depicting our fundamental need for water. It also strongly addresses how big corporations have been controlling our food supply and the need for people to fight back and regain control, at least over their local communities, which is where strength truly lies.

Thanks!
Henta xxx

http://earthday.sonicbids.com/BandDetails.aspx?b=28548&sr=false&bn=Henta

Well, that answers that ...

2011-04-25T13:12:00.000-07:00

Staph infection ...
The pathology came back and my current infection is caused by Staph that I contracted in the hospital. My surgeon wasn't pleased that it happened. But, it's almost impossible to prevent it nowadays.
You hear about this shite all the time. Dear Lord, my own Mama ended up with one after getting her tubes tied AT THE MAYO CLINIC. If Staph can get you at that institution, it can get you ANYWHERE.
I'm still having to flush my innards and take these damned antibiotics. But, at least we know what we're dealing with.
If ever have to have surgery again, I'm having it done on my own dining room table.
Sounds like it'd be much more safe.
xoxo
Anna

You were right ....

2011-04-22T21:32:00.000-07:00

My dear pal ...
Well, indeed, it was called some time ago.
Hypocrisy becomes AMAZINGLY transparent ... and, I must say, I am (by no means) surprised!
Sometimes I feel embarrassed for people that cannot abide by their own standards yet have judged others for the same fault(s).
"Do as I say and not as I do" isn't a standard I care to uphold, nor is a veil of false reality and self wooing ...
The older I get the more I tend to laugh at said stuffs ... it slays me!!!

xoxo,
Anna

Holy HOLE!!!!

2011-04-21T15:54:00.000-07:00

Dear Mother of Sweet Fried Chicken !
After meeting with my surgeon yesterday, I was sent in for an ultrasound, as he felt that there was "something" going on underneath my surgical site. After the ultrasound, "they" found that I have a large pocket of fluid underneath, and running the 8" length of the incision. Soooooo ... back to my surgeon's I went. This is where it gets "good."
My doc had to cut my belly open. He drained what he could of the fluid. I must say that I HAD TO WATCH. I love that grossness!
And then ... and then ... He sent me home with syringes and padding and tape. I have to stick a damned syringe in the hole 3X per day and flush my open gut with this concoction of hydrogen peroxide and water. As much as I'm okay with doing it, I'm tired, tired, tired of constant setbacks in my life.
I did not bank on this shite when I signed up for the hysterectomy. But, from the luck I've experienced in the past, it does NOT surprise me at all that there would be a set-back. So, there's that.
However, I am, particularly, excited about Mama's dinner tonight: Home made fried chicken, rice & gravy, asparagus (my job), and butter rolls. Nothing like a fabulous Southern meal to keep you warm.
Love and thanks to all.
xoxo
Anna

Welcome home Mr. Infection ...

2011-04-19T21:06:00.000-07:00

Arggggghhhhhh .....
Of course this gal couldn't get outta this surgery without a damned glitch.
As of Sunday there was a bit of worry about why my surgery site was so red and tender. Whelp ... we, now, know why. Apparently, I have some ridiculous allergy to the staples that were to shut me up. This allergy has turned into a nasty little infection that won't back down. So, I'm heading into town to see my surgeon tomorrow to see what we can do to get this gnarly little beast taken care of.
Thank God for Mama!!! She is a life saver. She's been cooking and cleaning and keeping me company on the couch all day. Silas and his Daddy had a great time playing soccer in the back yard most of the day. It was great that little Mr. Mosey got a chance to get outside and play instead of being holed up inside on the couch with us all day.
Hopefully, tomorrow, we'll get to the bottom of this infection and start marching on ... QUICKLY!!!
XOXO
Anna

Annnnndddddddd, we're HOME!

2011-04-17T22:49:00.000-07:00

Back to the Mountlake of Terrace ...
Silas, Mama, & I got back home today. Not sure HOW we made it considering the car was so full of bags, and crap, and SHITE, that it was quite hard to see ANYTHING while I drove.
Yes, yes ... I drove. My "orders" are to NOT drive for 2 weeks. I've heard it before. Might, very well, hear it again. But, I am NOT, NOT gonna drive my car. It's my means to an "End." It's my "ummmm, Crap! I left my favorite jacket at that party!" It's the "Well, Hell, Silas and I HAVE to go to the Shell station to get his "Slurpy" reward for him doing such a great job in his learning books". It's that: I BOUGHT THIS CAR A WEEK BEFORE CHEMO ... WITH THE HELP OF MY FAMILY ... SO THAT I MIGHT NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT GETTING TO AND FROM MY TREATMENTS.
So .... I'm gonna drive.
I love my precious Honda Civic (VP). If you care to know what the "VP" means, you can look it up. It's nothing shocking ... but, it's quite "telling."
So, long story long, we've settled back in at my house. I will go in tomorrow and get these 14 staples pulled outta my gut. Honestly, I think it sounds much worse than it'll feel. If not, I'll share my reaction ... much to the discontent of my OB. I can't imagine that will happen, however. He's AWESOME!
But, as they say, "tomorrow's a new day."
Whoever wrote that shit must have had their ASS in a butter-tub all of their life.
Oh ... sorry ... that's the "Angry Anna" speaking ...
xoxo
Anna

Bye bye innards ....

2011-04-15T20:57:00.000-07:00

Whelp ...
They're gone. The uterus, ovaries, and fallopian tubes are no longer.
I checked into Swedish on Wednesday morning in preparation for my 11:15 surgery. I was more upset that I didn't get to eat a DAMNED bit of food than losing my lady bits.
Surgery was swift and clean. Dr. South is a rock star. I must say that I've been in quite a bit of pain for some days. But, it is most certainly a means to an end. For that, I'll take it!
I was released today after a few days of healing ... and eating the shite outta the hospital food. I'm a sucker for Swedish's food.
I'm relaxing here at Robin and Noel's ... awaiting the arrival of both Silas and Mama tomorrow. I'm so, so excited to get my baby back and so, so excited that Mama is heading up here to spend some fabulous time with us. I'll eat an elephant's weight in good soul-food.
Thanks for all the love, prayers, messages, and gorgeous flowers everyone.
I'm quick to mend ... and, I'm there right now.
xoxo
Anna

Mosey, OUT!!!

2011-04-10T20:57:00.000-07:00

Today my sweet little man headed to Yakima. He'll be staying there with his grandparents while I get the plumbing pulled. From what I have ascertained, it's good for me to have some time to heal after surgery. But, I hate having him so far away. Lord, he's gonna have a ball ... they get into so much nonsense when he's there it's crazy. He adores his time in Yakima.
But, for some reason, I'm hankering for my little pooty. Last time he was there for a week, it didn't affect me too terribly much. This time, however, is different. I already miss him like crazy.
I'll see him on Saturday ... the same day that his Nonnie (my Mama) flies into town. It'll be a fabulous celebration. Although, I'll probably be drooling and calling people by the wrong name due to the meds that I'm, apparently, going to be on.
I won't complain about those. Loves me some narcotics when life calls for it!
So, I'm getting my shit together. Last day of work is tomorrow. I'm slammed, thank God!
Getting the house in order, the bills (than can be paid) in order, and the welcoming of Nonnie in order.
That lady can rally, I tell ya!
xoxo
Anna
p.s. I miss you Mose.

Guess who lost his first tooth???!!!!

2011-04-08T09:43:00.000-07:00

That would be Silas Levi Schumacher!!!! I've not taken a picture of it, as I cannot find my camera charger and I don't have a fancy phone that makes it easy to share photos.
However, I can assure you, it's the cutest little tooth hole EVER!
Actually, because he has one growing in behind it, it's not much of a hole. You can see the other one that's already halfway in.
He'd been working at it for some days. Finally, yesterday, it POPPED! He was on a play date at Heather and Marco's. I was at work. I got a call saying Silas needed to speak with me. He proceeded to say, "Mama I want you to know that I lost my first tooth ... and I'M NOT AT ALL HAPPY ABOUT IT!" I had to try to reel him in and make it a celebration, as he was so emotional ... saying, "But, Mama, it's a part of me." I told him that there will be much money to be had with all these teeth a-popping out. That seemed to help. His dad, also, called to congratulate him and help talk him off the ledge. I'm pretty sure we got it done, as this morning I woke to him screaming the words "MAMA THE TOOTH FAIRY CAME, THE TOOTH FAIRY CAME!!!!"
Well, hot damn!
The irony is: His first tooth came out on the day that he was "projected" to come outta my belly ... only 5 years later.
Congratulations little man!!!!
I love you, madly!
xoxo
Mama

Guess whose lymph nodes are CLEAN????????

2011-04-07T23:16:00.000-07:00

.... UNCLE JOHNNY'S!!!!!!!!
Hip, hip hurray!! After going through all his surgeries at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore, the pathology is back. Uncle Johnny is CLEAR AS A VIRGIN BELL!!!!! Though his surgery was quite invasive, he is thriving. They sent him home a day early. Well, that's because he's a badass. The crazy man could do a marathon tomorrow and not think a thing about it.
He and his wife Sam did so, so much research as to what institution would be best for his case. I'm so glad that they chose wisely. He bounced back so quickly that the surgeon was shocked. But, they had to wait a few days to get the final pathology report. AND IT WAS BRILLIANT!!! No nodes affected. They removed EVERY cancerous iota that was seen on scans and in the prostate.
So, Uncle Johnny, I welcome you to the "Cancer Club." Not a club we chose ... but a club we CAN RULE!!!!!!
I LOVER, LOVER, LOVER YENS.
I'm so proud of your strength. I'm so, so proud of our Sam's strength.
Oh ... and by the way ... I knew it was clear before the surgery. We'll chat about that later.
Until then, party like a ROCK STAR! Next time I'm in Charleston, it's only gonna be you and me up in your plane. We need to take a moment to "FLY!" And, fly we will ... for another 80 years.
Love ya'll with all of my heart.
xoxo
Anna

That's the sound of plans being flushed down the toilet ...

2011-04-05T22:29:00.000-07:00

Arggghhhh ...
Met with my OB surgeon today for my pre-op appointment for my surgery next week. Silas was with me, as ... well ... he's a super-duper sidekick and is with me when I nanny on Tuesdays and Fridays. He, also, was wearing THE ONLY jacket he wants to wear of late: his Batman raincoat with a proper cape. Imagine him wearing that when the Dr.'s assistant is trying to occupy him and he says "Mama, can he see the food in your stomach from down there???" Yep, dear reader ... I had told him the doctor was going to check on my tummy for a quick second. The pelvic exam WAS NOT in the cards. Bless his sweet heart.
After chatting with the OB, he sprung the "you know, I've got some concerns about 'atrophy'."
Join the club DOC ... try living with that nonsense. I'm sitting on a nest of cobwebs, Mister!
So, though I had already had my "girly exam" a few months ago, he decided it'd be a good idea to "check in" on things prior to surgery due to the atrophy and my size. The PRIOR plan had been made to have all of my lady bits removed without having to be cut open ... use your imagination if you've not read much of this blog.
In any case, plans have changed and it was decided today that I will have to have a damned abdominal hysterectomy.
Not on my day-planner to have to have that shit done. The recovery is longer ... oh, and I don't have a "day planner" either.
5 steps forward, 20 steps back.
But, at least I'm steppin'.
xoxo
Anna

Man, I'm a dip-shit!!!!!

2011-04-04T14:01:00.000-07:00

So ... turns out that today was the day of Uncle Johnny's surgery. Thank the Lord I figured that out before calling to wish him luck TONIGHT!
Just got off of the phone with him. He's out of surgery and sounds like a young whipper-snapper already.
From what the surgeon saw, Mr. J's lymph nodes looked clean. But, he did take a few to make sure that there was no trace of The Beast. We get results back in two days.
Sooooo ....
Thanks for your continued love and prayers. Means the world to the Pratt family!
xoxo
Anna

Love you Uncle Johnny ...

2011-04-04T00:50:00.000-07:00

Now, I cannot profess to know what it's like to have a prostate. Balls: yes. Prostate: NO!
All I can say is that I've had to have surgery to remove cancer from my body.
My uncle and aunt flew to Baltimore a few days ago in preparation for My Uncle Johnny's surgery.
They're at John's Hopkins. After much research, Johnny chose this amazing institution.
I know he'll be fine on Tuesday. I know he'll rally. I know that our sweet Maw Maw & Paw Paw will be with him, in spirit.
He's made them so, so proud all these years. I wish I could be there myself.
Please hold this dear Cancer Club buddy/uncle in your heart and prayers.
We love you, Johnny & Sam.
xoxo,
JR

Yeah, that's right ...

2011-04-03T22:37:00.001-07:00

I dragged my ass outta bed this morning to do the MS walk here in Seattle. I did it because a fabulous woman's son was just diagnosed with the disease. Angela King has been a fellow warrior of our Cancer cause. She is the same woman that has done all of the amazing pieces at Fox Q13 in honor of the Young Survivor Coalition affiliate here in Seattle. She is a force of nature. Single Mama for years. Kind, pensive, and always looking out for others. This woman sent a last minute e-mail last week to her pals to say that her son, Taylor, had just been diagnosed with MS. She started up a team for the walk. Her friends and family raised so much money in a VERY FEW DAYS that she was acknowledged today by KING5 (a rival station) during the walk.
Angela "be-dazzled" these little plastic clapper hands. That proved to be the highlight of our walk!
We all met up ... sat there like cattle on the 20 yard line at Husky Stadium...
And then ... we walked.
If any of us separated, we'd raise our clapper hand and we ended up finding our co-walkers.
Yes, dear reader: I WAS the asshole that made comments about all of us "having the clap." I DID complain about getting up on "The Lord's Day" to do more walking than I will EVER do in ANY given year. Between breast cancer and MS, I think God is telling me "You don't exercise, so here's my gift to you."
This is what I said to God: "Thanks Dude. Especially for the passive aggressive bikers on 'Burke Gilman' that bitched at the walkers." But, I'm still breathing. So, I had to retract some stuffs I said to God.
Glad I was snarky enough in the AM to yell back at them "Hey, Lance Armstrong ... we're walking for MS ... DEAL WITH IT!" Shit, there were notices posted on that trail FOR WEEKS that told these, apparent, professional bikers that there would be a walk on April 3rd. My question is: If you're that intense and professional of a biker, why in the name of Ketchup are you A) Doing the Burke Gilman ... & B) Yelling at people doing a walk for such a great cause. I don't trust an asshole in spandex. Just saying ...
Dear Lord ... at that point, I wanted to walk into a Bingo parlor like we all did during our 1st Breast Cancer 3-Day walk for Komen and take a shot a Patron. But... those were the "good old days."
I know this blog has been, strongly, based on my breast cancer story and its trials, tribulations, and "stuffs."
However, it would be fairly easy for all of us (including myself) to shift a bit and try to focus on other causes important to us and those that have had our backs from DAY ONE. I, personally, have been supported by so, so many amazing people from so many different walks of life.
BIG LOVE AND PRAYERS to Taylor and Angela tonight. Love you both, dearly.
xoxo
Anna
p.s. TODAY I HAD THE CLAP AND WALKED WITH A BUNCH OF OTHER FOLKS THAT DID AS WELL. I guess I'm gonna have to bring awareness to 'The Clap" now ... SHITE!!!!!

Two of my favorites ...

2011-04-01T00:52:00.000-07:00

... singing one of my favorite songs....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQs_7GBHhUY&feature=related

xoxo,
Anna
p.s. Why in the HELL wasn't this on American Idol this week????!!!

Guess who just "touched down" in Iceland ...

2011-04-01T00:21:00.001-07:00

Miss Mama ST has dreamt of going to Iceland for years. A few months ago, she decided that it was important to put a plan in order to make this dream come true.
I have to say, my "cancer club" girls find a way to live their dreams more than most folks I know. I think, after what we've all gone through, we all understand the immediacy of our passions in life.
If there is one thing cancer has "given" us ... other than new (fake) boobs ... it's the importance of living in the moment.
It's hard to be spontaneous and pull these feats off. It DOES take a bit of planning. Nonetheless, It's so fabulous to see my girls taking life's "bull by the horns" and living their dreams!
So, Miss Sarah, enjoy gorgeous Iceland. You MORE than deserve it!
I love you, love you, love you.
xoxo
Cooch

How are we "making it?"

2011-03-31T00:32:00.000-07:00

I, just like all of us right now, am struggling financially. Filling up the gas tank of my little Honda Civic is hard enough. I cannot even presume to imagine what those that have cars larger than mine are dealing with when they go to the gas station.
I don't think it's a societal/class issue at this point. I think, financially, we're ALL suffering. But, SHIT ... it's beyond belief what I'm paying for my daily commute (6 days a week), taxes out the Hoo Hoo that still don't seem to be helping those same roads that were supposed to be fixed, the new transit station in Mountlake Terrace on I-5, Mercer Street "redo".
So, what's happening to children's play areas that are being shut down?
Why, if the reason that they were shut down is to help the traffic/commute cause, are these "PROFESSED" areas of interest not getting any attention or major upgrades?
Throw a commuter a bone ...
Especially one that hates those that sit idle in the far left lane.
xoxo,
anna

Oh HOLLER!!!! A fabulous "foodie" blog ...

2011-03-30T23:47:00.000-07:00

Well, paint me yellow and call me "slap-happy!"
Miss Luchie ... one of my best girlfriends from our "Cancer Club" ... has decided to start a blog based upon her love of food. This woman posts pictures of what she cooks every night. To say it's AMAZING is lame. She is the ultimate "Foodie." I see pics of her dinners and I want to smack her ... LIKE, REALLY HARD. She has this instinctual pallet. And, she loves to cook.
Sooooooo ... Go visit this blog folks. She's one of my favorite bad-asses EVER. AND, I LOVER HER DEARLY.
I am, personally, gonna attempt to try her recipes ... even if they don't include collard greens and sharp cheddar cheese.

http://unseasonedfoodie.com/

xoxo,
Anna

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET SILAS ...

2011-03-29T00:17:00.000-07:00

Wow ... what a long and fabulous weekend!!!!! Mister Mosey turned 5 yesterday. Would have blogged, but we had much more fun things to do! So, I'm a day late on the "Birthday Blog." I think that is pretty telling ... in a great way.
Saturday was spent with friends and family celebrating the most amazing BIG BOY'S 5th birthday. We had an amazing time swimming at our hotel. We, then met up with our pals at Buca De Beppo. All I can say is that we were all in a coma after all of the fabulous food and wine. The boys ate their weight in cake. The adults needed wheel barrows to get our asses out of our chairs. It was such an amazing birthday for my little man.
Thanks so, so much to our amazing pals and family for all of the sweet calls and presents.
Thank you Grammie and Grandaddy for all of your love and support for the birthday celebration!!!!!
xoxo,
Anna

Possibly one of the best monologues of all time...

2011-03-21T21:58:00.000-07:00

Seventeen days after Spencer Tracy wrapped Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, he died. He and Katharine Hepburn were a love for the ages. You can see, as he's delivering the monologue, that she understands that:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Yt0wxoFl4o

It's such a lovely, lovely piece.
xoxo
Anna

A Candle Loses Nothing By Lighting Another Candle...

2011-03-20T22:07:00.001-07:00

Godspeed Mohammad Nabbous ...

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/world/2011/03/20/nr.nabbous.libya.dead.cnn?hpt=C2

xoxo,
Anna

Why is it so hard ....

2011-03-20T20:29:00.000-07:00

.... To figure this nonsense out????
So many animals are out there ... in shelters. Some shelters are "Kill Shelters" Some are "No Kill Shelters." But, they are ALL becoming swamped with animals right now.
These poor creatures never chose to be bred/born/neglected.
There are enough of these sweet peas to go around ... TWENTY MILLION FOLD.
All of my pets are rescues. I don't judge a pal that, truly, wants a pure bred pup. I, absolutely, understand that.
But, stats show that mixed bred dogs (especially those that are spayed and neutered) live a longer and healthier life than pure breds.
Soooooo .... if you are open to adoption/rescue, I would suggest looking into shelters that are considered "kill shelters." It's sad but true: you'd be saving a life. But, if it's more convenient for you, ANY shelter is better than continuing to propagate the population of dogs and cats right now. We need to reel in this incessant breeding of animals. Many of which are bought/gifts and end up thrown to a curb.
Not to sound like Bob Barker. But, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE spay/neuter your pets.
xoxo,
Anna

Carol "Nacho" Franco's 5th Cancerversary Party...

2011-03-20T13:36:00.001-07:00

This is Carol. Carol is dancing ... with me. This is us LIVING and celebrating her 5 year cancerversary at AN AMAZING party at O'Asian last weekend.
Carol is one of my dearest girlfriends and a HUGE source of comfort, support, and love. She's been in my world for over 4 years now. She's been one of the dearest friends/sisters that I've ever had the pleasure of getting to know.
This woman will go to bat FOR ANYONE in whom she believes. She is generous ... almost to a fault. I'd welcome her into my foxhole anytime. She has a gal's back ... for true.
I look forward to the next 50 years of dear sisterhood with My Nacho. The laughs, alone, are worth it ... much less the entirety of her person. You are, truly, beautiful Mama. Inside and out.
I love you Nacho!
xoxo
Cooch

Moving up, up, and AWAYYYYY.....

2011-03-16T23:51:00.000-07:00

Whelp ...

Gonna share what's been going on in my world ... for some time now. Over a year actually.
Last February, I left my husband. It had been a long time coming. A LONG TIME.
Silas and I, as has been shared, moved to Mountlake Terrace. My cousin Don has been a dear pal of mine since I was a baby girl. He welcomed us into his home with LONG-STRETCHED AND OPEN arms.
This past year has been long, long, long AND hard, hard, hard.
I've spent the better part of 2 years, solely, supporting myself and my son. This past year has proven that there was much more underlying "stuffs" that I was not made aware of.
So, I've dug in deep this year and have had to put my head down and regroup. I've had to let go of that lost "perfect" credit score. Let go of a co-whatever. Let go of depending on what promises were made. Let go of many things that were taken from me when I wasn't looking... let go of MANY shocking things that have, most certainly, affected how my son and I will be able to live our lives for some years.
And guess what????? I'm fine with them being gone, now.
WE'VE MADE IT!!!!
I could spend days upon days spewing what my son and I have been put through.
I chose not to do so. Divorce papers are, FINALLY, signed. THANK GOD!
To share what's in them isn't for this blog.
I don't think it's worth it.
Anyone that has been in our world for 2 or 3 years is more than well aware of the situation.
What I can say is that Silas & I have spent the past few years being held in the hearts of our most precious and dear friends and families. There is NO amount of thanks and gratitude that could convey the appreciation that I want to share with them. We've been enveloped ... FROM COAST TO COAST ... by these ethereal people.
I try, daily, to "pay it forward" in any way I can.
Honestly, that might just mean that I sit, topless, at a street corner and show the aftermath of breast cancer reconstruction after a breast cancer diagnosis. If that's all I've got ... I'll go with it.
Though I have nothing at this point, I have NOTHING to lose.
So, I might very well be better off than most. In that, My Mr. Mosey and I are the richest Duo in the Universe!!!!!
xoxo
Anna
p.s. Thanks, again, to everyone. I love ya'll to THE MOON AND BACK!

Blessed Japan...

2011-03-15T23:11:00.000-07:00

The past few days have haunted me ... and, I know they've haunted the rest of the world. The absolute terror that everyone in that beautiful country has experienced is unbelievable. The sight of mass destruction and the helpless looks on the victims' faces is heartbreaking. Seeing people, young and old, wandering down muddy and shattered streets is awe inspiring. And, not in a good way ...
Today, CNN and an "expert" from Columbia University shared the following information:

The number of nuclear workers who remained on site has been slashed from 800 to 50.
"Their situation is not great," said David Brenner, director of the Center for Radiological Research at Columbia University. "It's pretty clear that they will be getting very high doses of radiation. There's certainly the potential for lethal doses of radiation. They know it, and I think you have to call these people heroes."

Now, I've been exposed to more radiation than most individuals could experience in MANY lifetimes. Hell, I've set Geiger Counters off in the past.
But, NEVER EVER, did I choose to do it of my of volition. I was dealing with cancer. These 50 people have CHOSEN to stay. They've chosen to stay to help protect everyone in their country AND ON THIS PLANET who might be affected by this potential disaster.
And, as a consequence, they may pay with their lives. They are, obviously, aware of the repercussions. They have chosen to stay.
The word HERO doesn't even begin to sum these individuals up.
As much as I fear the outcome of their choice ... and, it sounds more probable than not ... I am in awe at being able to witness such an act of selflessness.
Should be a lesson to us all.
xoxo,
Anna

Sweet Grandma Flint...

2011-03-07T21:57:00.000-08:00

This weekend I learned that my sweet co-worker's Grandmama is dying. It hurts my heart and soul to hear this, as I've know him since I started working at Salon Joseph. From day one, he has spoken of his Grandmama. He would take breaks to go hang out with her. She has been a pillar for him. A force of strength and council. I imagine that she will, forever, be one of his best friends.
I understand this, greatly. My grandparents were always such a huge force: support, love, cheer-leaders. I could have NEVER dreamed of better grandparents.
I know Jonathan's heart is broken. I know he knows she will not be with us, here on earth, much longer. But, what I do KNOW is that she will ALWAYS be with him and those she loves.
There is no doubt in my mind.
Godspeed sweet girl. You've been and will continue to be, infinitely, loved and adored.
My love and prayers are with his family right now.
Please send a prayer or a good vibe their way.
Thank you.
xoxo
Anna

Getting my Ladytron on ...

2011-03-04T01:58:00.000-08:00

I've been dealing with a kitty that decides to MEWL ALL NIGHT LONG.....
Gotta switch out his food, or something, as it makes for a long night. Until then, I'm up. So, I'm enjoying this bit of goodness from a band I adore.
"I'm Not Scared" could hold an enumerate amount of meanings, considering the lyrics.
For me, it reminds me that I can always regroup and go to my core: family, friends, co-workers, pets, clients, that dude at the Shell station that always asks me if I'm doing well, & my sweet angels that are, most definitely, here with ALL of us.

I'M NOT SCARED:
"January clipped your wires.
The summer went straight through your tires.
Every faded sign that past you.
Used to point the way towards you.
Lately you've come to enjoy, the generosity of strangers.
The mechanisms you implore, and they have gone.
You know, that I'm not scared to go home.
They may have got you known, know that I'm not scared to go home.
Light aircraft they over fly you.
Instruments they veer towards you.
Every fallen star that past you, used to fall all around you.
Maybe you've come to rely,
on the generosity of stangers.
The mechanisms you implore, and they have gone.
You know that I'm not scared to go home, they may have got you known, know that I'm not scared to go home.
January clipped your wires.
The summer went straight through your tires.
Every faded sign that past you.
Used to point the way towards you.
Lately you've come to enjoy, the generosity of strangers.
The mechanisms you implore, and they have gone.
You know that I'm not scared to go home, they may have got you known, know that I'm not scared to go home.
To go home.
To go home.
To go home."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUipq2rbY4U&feature=related

Dear Lord ... Let the cat sleep, already!!!!!
xoxo
Anna

Ah, Joseph Arthur ... What's up?????

2011-02-25T22:26:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, this song was a favorite of mine. It's beautiful. I had received a gorgeous "mixed CD" from a very special person in my life ... and this song was on it.
After seeing this performance ... of said gorgeous song ... I'm a bit sad.
Does he even know where he is????
It's a bit uncomfortable.
What happened to him?
Creative people face many beasts. I've been there ... as have many of pals.
I just don't recognize this version of that song that I fell in love with those many, many moons ago.
Thankfully, I still have the old CD of the original.
I think that that might be the key: The Original.
Food for thought.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5d8SNwEBrs8

xoxo
Anna

Ding Dong ... UPS showed up today...

2011-02-23T22:42:00.000-08:00

... and the snow was driving at the time. I was mopping our wood floors. Silas wanted to open the package that was addressed to me. I wasn't expecting anything. So, I figured it was some sort of gimmick. I told him he could have it......
Then, out of the corner of my eye, I see him pull out a sweet little blue box with a precious white ribbon wrapped around it.
Now, as most of you know, I'm not the little lady that hankers for the "Blue Box." But, I do know what it is.
I walked over and saw "Tiffany" on the box. At this point, I took the box from Silas as he was looking for the scissors and I knew what might happen after that.
I opened the box and saw this ... this card: "Dearest Anna ... Remembering THE NEW NORMAL ... Celebrating you. Love and blessings ... Jack."
Jack Sharkey has been a HUGE supporter of The New Normal. He's been the biggest cheerleader for the cast, crew, and audience. He's one of the sweetest souls I've ever known. As many of you might recall, his mother lost her battle with breast cancer many years ago.
Jack sent me the most gorgeous bracelet! Funny thing: He chose it because the gemstone is pink. However, he had no clue my birthstone was a sapphire. The gemstone in the bracelet is a pink sapphire.
It's dreamy ... ABSOLUTELY REFLECTIVE OF HIS KIND SOUL.
Thank you Jack. It's beautiful.
Silas, actually, helped me put it on for the first time.
As per usual, I'm not AT ALL deserving of such an amazing gift. But, I will cherish it. It will, forever, remind me that not all of my angels are in the Heavens. Many are right here on Earth.
I see it, daily ... I'm a lucky girl.
xoxo,
Anna