Oh, and by the way. I'm looking at the polls. I find them VERY interesting. Billy Graham? Really? YIKES.
Long live my Gilda!
xoxo
anna
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Shit
Well, I'm pissed. Got news today that my sister in the BC fight got some bad results on her latest MRI. K-dawg is a dreamy woman. You know of her from this blog. She's one of my dearest friends. She's as crazy as me ... only, she's quiet about it. She's got 2 gorgeous girls ... one of which was in her belly while she was on her first round of chemo. In any case, K-dawg went metastatic: stage 4. But, she is thriving and living with a chronic disease. It's not lost on me that I might very well be that gal tomorrow. In any case, she got her latest MRI this week. The results weren't what we'd hoped for. Her mets are in her lungs. This, we've known. The original tumor was 2cm. Apparently, after the MRI this week, it's double in size since July. Plus, we've got a new one on her left lung. This lung was, previously, unaffected. But, there is good/great news. There are so many chemo-cocktails that she hasn't been exposed to yet. She's got a huge list of treatments to toss around until she finds the perfect match. AND SHE WILL. I know that she is worried about seeing her girls grow up. I've been there. It's the most nauseating feeling that one will EVER experience. It's unbelievably unfair that young women have to spend time focusing on this retched disease. It's a waste of our life and a waste of our young souls. But, to have young children during the process pushes it to a level that most people could never comprehend. It's Earth shattering. One bares the weight of the world when they think that they might not be around to see their young children grow up. Most people haven't had to deal with it. I have. I can tell you, it's the most disgusting feeling EVER.
Please send love to my sweet K-dawg. I know the new chemo is gonns kick this shit. Plus, we have an amazing amount of other chemo drugs to back it up if it's not the PERFECT match. Holler!
On a different note, my girlfriend Jennifer, in Chicago, had an MRI today that scared her a bit. She had a brain MRI, as she's been having some "issues." The process didn't sit well with her. I think that the techs didn't think before they spoke. Plus, they dragged her through tests that weren't even on the books. Not good. So, she's stressed. I can only imagine that I'd be feeling the same damned way. Please send a prayer/positive vibe/wish/etc. for sweet Jen. She is such a love and such a positive and strong force in the young breast cancer survivor community.
Okay, off to ... clean the THRUSH OUT OF MY MOUTH. No joke. I've been so doped up on antibiotics for my septic-arm that I've, now, gotten the "Thrush." We came up with all kinds of crazy super-hero names for me at work. I'm disgusted. Called my oncologist and said, "Okay, flesh eating virus is one thing, but THRUSH ... OH, HELL NO. I cannot deal with this. I sat in traffic and scraped stuff off of my tongue with a credit card." I hate to say it, but cancer was less invasive than "thrush." What is that name, anyway? It sounds like an apocalyptic warrior. OR, someone on Baywatch.
Disgusting. I'm on high levels of meds. It'll get kicked in 3 days. The funny thing is, half of the folks I talked to about it had gotten thrush! Where in the hell have I been? It's like the poor man's herpes!
Please send love to my sweet K-dawg. I know the new chemo is gonns kick this shit. Plus, we have an amazing amount of other chemo drugs to back it up if it's not the PERFECT match. Holler!
On a different note, my girlfriend Jennifer, in Chicago, had an MRI today that scared her a bit. She had a brain MRI, as she's been having some "issues." The process didn't sit well with her. I think that the techs didn't think before they spoke. Plus, they dragged her through tests that weren't even on the books. Not good. So, she's stressed. I can only imagine that I'd be feeling the same damned way. Please send a prayer/positive vibe/wish/etc. for sweet Jen. She is such a love and such a positive and strong force in the young breast cancer survivor community.
Okay, off to ... clean the THRUSH OUT OF MY MOUTH. No joke. I've been so doped up on antibiotics for my septic-arm that I've, now, gotten the "Thrush." We came up with all kinds of crazy super-hero names for me at work. I'm disgusted. Called my oncologist and said, "Okay, flesh eating virus is one thing, but THRUSH ... OH, HELL NO. I cannot deal with this. I sat in traffic and scraped stuff off of my tongue with a credit card." I hate to say it, but cancer was less invasive than "thrush." What is that name, anyway? It sounds like an apocalyptic warrior. OR, someone on Baywatch.
Disgusting. I'm on high levels of meds. It'll get kicked in 3 days. The funny thing is, half of the folks I talked to about it had gotten thrush! Where in the hell have I been? It's like the poor man's herpes!
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Evening
Tonight, I'm gonna rant. It's a rant about our "beloved" health insurance companies. Oh, how I adore them. I know you hear the sarcasm.
As many of you know, I had my reconstructive surgery in April. It was done in April, as all the following surgeries would fit into a calendar year and I would not have to deal with a huge deductible at the turn of the year. I covered all bases. Made sure that everything was covered "in network." I've never used ANYONE out of network.
Then ... and then ... I get a huge bill for my plastic surgeon's head nurse. She's a great gal. But, apparently, she did the final stitching to close me up at the end of the surgery. I had no choice. I did not know that she would even touch me. But, that is a moot point, as I talked to a woman at Healthnet on March 18th. She told me everyone in that OR would be covered - IN NETWORK, as I was told and made sure this was so. Now, Healthnet is saying that the nurse WAS covered ... but, she is covered OUT of network. I appealed this. They noted that I did make the call, but they say that they only told me that everyone in the OR was covered. They say they NEVER told me what level of coverage they would extend.
I find it so trite and hysterical that I would have never covered my ass on this one, as I've no history of ever getting a service from any provider that was "out of network." Plus, I'm the poorest of anyone of my pals. I think it stands to reason that I had that covered. But, because "Sue", the woman I spoke with to make sure all was well, didn't note that our conversation was based on the "out of network" thing, Healthnet has denied my appeal.
I know they think that I'll roll over. I have a dear friend in Seattle that has dealt with the same thing during her breast cancer battle. She appealed, they denied. She appealed again, they denied. On the third try, the insurance company HAS to send the appeal to a 3rd party that has no tie to either of the people involved. Guess what happened after Carrie's 3rd appeal: SHE GOT IT! The 3rd party, basically, said "Duh! Of course you should be covered!" The insurance companies are nauseating. To think that they pull this shit simply because most people don't spend the time to fight them is unbelievable. They know that most people won't push the issue. It's bullying at its best. It's abusive, honestly. How in the name of God can they find it appropriate and Okay???!!!!!!!!!!
So, I'm on it. There is no way in Hell that I"m gonna roll over on this one. No way. So, I'll re-appeal ... is that even a word? If they deny it, they are forced to send it to the 3rd party. I welcome that. They don't want me bringing in providers and them telling the 3rd party how much bullshit they, also, had to deal with in regards to my insurance company.
I was so pissed in the beginning. Now, I'm fine. One way or another, they are gonna have to answer to this. They are gonna have to spend their time dealing with a breast cancer survivor who has been fighting for her life and has been on top of all this bullshit the whole time. Let us not forget that I was diagnosed when Silas was 6 months old. Let us not forget that he is now 2 and I've got much bigger fish to fry than this rancid insurance company. HOPE THOSE BASTARDS CAN SLEEP AT NIGHT. If not, maybe they should find a shrink or a good preacher-man. They screwed with the wrong red-neck.
I've got better things to do with my life and the precious people in it than spend time FIGHTING my insurance company. They should be ashamed. Terribly, terribly ashamed.
Until they see the light, I'll be lighting a fire under their asses that might just send them hollering for the light. Or away from the light, depending on how hot their asses get!
Nighty, night loves.
xoxo
Anna
As many of you know, I had my reconstructive surgery in April. It was done in April, as all the following surgeries would fit into a calendar year and I would not have to deal with a huge deductible at the turn of the year. I covered all bases. Made sure that everything was covered "in network." I've never used ANYONE out of network.
Then ... and then ... I get a huge bill for my plastic surgeon's head nurse. She's a great gal. But, apparently, she did the final stitching to close me up at the end of the surgery. I had no choice. I did not know that she would even touch me. But, that is a moot point, as I talked to a woman at Healthnet on March 18th. She told me everyone in that OR would be covered - IN NETWORK, as I was told and made sure this was so. Now, Healthnet is saying that the nurse WAS covered ... but, she is covered OUT of network. I appealed this. They noted that I did make the call, but they say that they only told me that everyone in the OR was covered. They say they NEVER told me what level of coverage they would extend.
I find it so trite and hysterical that I would have never covered my ass on this one, as I've no history of ever getting a service from any provider that was "out of network." Plus, I'm the poorest of anyone of my pals. I think it stands to reason that I had that covered. But, because "Sue", the woman I spoke with to make sure all was well, didn't note that our conversation was based on the "out of network" thing, Healthnet has denied my appeal.
I know they think that I'll roll over. I have a dear friend in Seattle that has dealt with the same thing during her breast cancer battle. She appealed, they denied. She appealed again, they denied. On the third try, the insurance company HAS to send the appeal to a 3rd party that has no tie to either of the people involved. Guess what happened after Carrie's 3rd appeal: SHE GOT IT! The 3rd party, basically, said "Duh! Of course you should be covered!" The insurance companies are nauseating. To think that they pull this shit simply because most people don't spend the time to fight them is unbelievable. They know that most people won't push the issue. It's bullying at its best. It's abusive, honestly. How in the name of God can they find it appropriate and Okay???!!!!!!!!!!
So, I'm on it. There is no way in Hell that I"m gonna roll over on this one. No way. So, I'll re-appeal ... is that even a word? If they deny it, they are forced to send it to the 3rd party. I welcome that. They don't want me bringing in providers and them telling the 3rd party how much bullshit they, also, had to deal with in regards to my insurance company.
I was so pissed in the beginning. Now, I'm fine. One way or another, they are gonna have to answer to this. They are gonna have to spend their time dealing with a breast cancer survivor who has been fighting for her life and has been on top of all this bullshit the whole time. Let us not forget that I was diagnosed when Silas was 6 months old. Let us not forget that he is now 2 and I've got much bigger fish to fry than this rancid insurance company. HOPE THOSE BASTARDS CAN SLEEP AT NIGHT. If not, maybe they should find a shrink or a good preacher-man. They screwed with the wrong red-neck.
I've got better things to do with my life and the precious people in it than spend time FIGHTING my insurance company. They should be ashamed. Terribly, terribly ashamed.
Until they see the light, I'll be lighting a fire under their asses that might just send them hollering for the light. Or away from the light, depending on how hot their asses get!
Nighty, night loves.
xoxo
Anna
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Few weeks ...
Oh, holy Hank. It's been quite some time since I last blogged. Sorry. I'm getting backlash, left and right.
So, the story goes, I've been damned busy. As you know, I was planning on doing the Breast Cancer 3-day walk. My soulmate and sistah-cousin Angus and her Matthew were flying up to do it. Well, I ended up with some nasty arm infection. I woke up on Tuesday, 3 days before the walk, with some awful cellulitis issue in my arm. By the time I got into my adorable oncologist's office, it had quadrupeled. Needless to say, they were testing me for many nasty viruses and infections. I was hopeful that I could fix it and still do the walk. Not so. My oncologist and the Infectious disease specialist that he sent me to both told me that it, basically, wasn't an option. I even joked that it was a shame that I ended up with the flesh eating virus ... my oncologist, not laughing, said, "well, we're, actually, testing you for it." Yikes. So, family gets in town. Angus, much to my surprise, surprised me with her torn ACL. She hadn't shared. So, it worked out perfectly. She couldn't have done the walk anyway.
I spent a week getting IV antibiotics at Swedish ... daily. Between those fun and loud visits to the infusion center, we drank, ate, played, drank, visited our 3-day team on the walk, drank, ate, and drank. Betty Ford, here we come. We had the most wonderful time. I cannot share the specifics of what my best friend/sister-cousin Angi and I did on Sunday, as we would be arrested. But, we had more fun than we've had in a long time. The boys just sat and laughed ... and drank beer.
So, now it's back to reality. I turned 34 on September 18th. Wow. No big news to me, as I thought that I was already 34 for the past year. Honestly. Every time I was asked, last year, how old I was I would say "34." So, it's been an easy transition.
The YSC has been full of hotness and contempt lately. Love that site. Love the gals. But, again, things have heated up and have become a cluster-fuck. I cannot say that it is HORRIBLE, but it is a mess. I don't want new people to come to those boards and see the mess that we've created. I guess, as humans, that will always be the end result when it comes to something that we feel passionately about. Just don't get people needing to feed the fire ... or, feed the fire incessantly. Or, be nasty, callous, and hatefull. Don't get it. I'm all about being a bitch to folks that cut me off in traffic. I will hand you your ass in those situations. But, on a support board for breast cancer, I think that crap is ridiculous. It's pathetic, actually. I'm done with it.
I had an audition on Friday for a national commercial. It would be a sweet gig, as the "call-back" and the shoot dates are all on my days off. You know what this means: I won't score the gig. That's Murphy's Law. I'm fine with it. I'm just glad to get in there and get some great practice. I've, also, got a pal/client that is interresed in using me in a reading for her theatre company. I believe the gig would be early next year. It's not a definite thing. She's just in the process of figuring out who she might like for the roles that are involved. It's nice to know that someone (a wonderful director/producer) is even considering you for a role without having to even audition for them. Again, it may not happen. But, it's great to know that folks appreciate your work.
Okay, off to bed. I've gotta bang some hair tomorrow and I also have a meeting at work.
Nighty, night my pretties.
xoxo
Anna
p.s. I'm sending a shout-out to my pal ChicagoJen. She's getting scans on Thursday and could use your sweet vibes and/or prayers. She's gonna be A-okay ... I just know it!
So, the story goes, I've been damned busy. As you know, I was planning on doing the Breast Cancer 3-day walk. My soulmate and sistah-cousin Angus and her Matthew were flying up to do it. Well, I ended up with some nasty arm infection. I woke up on Tuesday, 3 days before the walk, with some awful cellulitis issue in my arm. By the time I got into my adorable oncologist's office, it had quadrupeled. Needless to say, they were testing me for many nasty viruses and infections. I was hopeful that I could fix it and still do the walk. Not so. My oncologist and the Infectious disease specialist that he sent me to both told me that it, basically, wasn't an option. I even joked that it was a shame that I ended up with the flesh eating virus ... my oncologist, not laughing, said, "well, we're, actually, testing you for it." Yikes. So, family gets in town. Angus, much to my surprise, surprised me with her torn ACL. She hadn't shared. So, it worked out perfectly. She couldn't have done the walk anyway.
I spent a week getting IV antibiotics at Swedish ... daily. Between those fun and loud visits to the infusion center, we drank, ate, played, drank, visited our 3-day team on the walk, drank, ate, and drank. Betty Ford, here we come. We had the most wonderful time. I cannot share the specifics of what my best friend/sister-cousin Angi and I did on Sunday, as we would be arrested. But, we had more fun than we've had in a long time. The boys just sat and laughed ... and drank beer.
So, now it's back to reality. I turned 34 on September 18th. Wow. No big news to me, as I thought that I was already 34 for the past year. Honestly. Every time I was asked, last year, how old I was I would say "34." So, it's been an easy transition.
The YSC has been full of hotness and contempt lately. Love that site. Love the gals. But, again, things have heated up and have become a cluster-fuck. I cannot say that it is HORRIBLE, but it is a mess. I don't want new people to come to those boards and see the mess that we've created. I guess, as humans, that will always be the end result when it comes to something that we feel passionately about. Just don't get people needing to feed the fire ... or, feed the fire incessantly. Or, be nasty, callous, and hatefull. Don't get it. I'm all about being a bitch to folks that cut me off in traffic. I will hand you your ass in those situations. But, on a support board for breast cancer, I think that crap is ridiculous. It's pathetic, actually. I'm done with it.
I had an audition on Friday for a national commercial. It would be a sweet gig, as the "call-back" and the shoot dates are all on my days off. You know what this means: I won't score the gig. That's Murphy's Law. I'm fine with it. I'm just glad to get in there and get some great practice. I've, also, got a pal/client that is interresed in using me in a reading for her theatre company. I believe the gig would be early next year. It's not a definite thing. She's just in the process of figuring out who she might like for the roles that are involved. It's nice to know that someone (a wonderful director/producer) is even considering you for a role without having to even audition for them. Again, it may not happen. But, it's great to know that folks appreciate your work.
Okay, off to bed. I've gotta bang some hair tomorrow and I also have a meeting at work.
Nighty, night my pretties.
xoxo
Anna
p.s. I'm sending a shout-out to my pal ChicagoJen. She's getting scans on Thursday and could use your sweet vibes and/or prayers. She's gonna be A-okay ... I just know it!
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Had a busy weekend. We are still helping out, a lot, around these parts. T is still recovering from surgery. So, we've got lots to do, what with the animals, plants, errands, etc.
We went to a birthday party last night for our girlfriend Robin. It was in Georgetown. Georgetown in south of Seattle ... sort of near Boeing. It's the new hip/happening spot in Seattle.
I gotta tell you: the space where we had the birthday party might just be the coolest space I've EVER seen. It's in the tail end of a shop/warehouse. The room is all brick with wooden pillars. Lights, couches, juke-boxes, neon signs, rides for kids, rugs, a minnie-bar. It's gorgeous. It's hip, but not invasive. The pics that I've posted are from the party. Pics of my Mosey riding the motorcycle. Pics of him riding it with his pals Max and Dexter. Pics of my dear, dear friends: another portion of my "Village/Family." We had a ball. Enjoy.
Happy, happy Monday to you.
By the way, don't forget that I'll be heading out on Friday to do the 3-day walk. I'll post pics next week.
It's gonna be hysterical.
xoxo
Anna
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Week...
A dear woman from the YSC boards died 2 days ago. She was a young single mother and leaves behind 3 children. I know that she was so heart-broken that she was so sick and feared having to leave them. It's nauseating to even imagine having to leave my son. Danica, you are missed.
It's so unfair. It's disgusting. Remember that tonight. You have the gift of being able to be with your children tomorrow. Danica is not here to do that. I know that those children will be taken care of. But, it should be their mama that does that. FUCK CANCER.
The YSC boards are afire lately with nastiness. It seems that this happens when tensions are high ... typically it's when someone is dying or has died. But, the amount of absolute ugliness was something that I could not let rest. I have been very vocal about one particular member (who is posting anonymously ). She is using her stage 4 status as a guise to chew on MANY members of the board. She states that she is dying. So, she is gonna call it as she sees it. She has berated women and told them that she's sure their husbands are cheating on them with much more attractive women, they are a lazy lay in bed. She has told members that their prayers for other people are vapid. She has berated women for their bad grammar and spelling in posts. She has made fun of women's living situations due to cancer/bills (me). I cannot tell you how many people this anonymous person has affected. What's worse, is that some of the elder members of the boards are defending her and supporting her nastiness, as they believe it's an elder member that hasn't posted in a while. Someone they love. Are you kidding me?!
You know what? I give a shit who you are. I could care less how many "cool" folks know and love you. If you are metastatic and dying ... AND STILL CHOOSE TO ANONYMOUSLY RAKE OTHER CANCER SURVIVORS OVER THE COALS, YOU'RE A DAMNED COWARD. She's pathetic. I've posted this. I've posted that I find it disgusting that she wants her last days/weeks/months spent spewing nastiness at the people that can relate to her the most. I feel sorry for her in a sense. I cannot relate to someone dying. I cannot relate to the emotions that one must go through. It, however, could be me tomorrow. But, as I told her on the boards, it's sick. It's not acceptable and it's wrong. It's nasty and it breeds contempt. It's totally defeatist and sets us back so many steps as women and breast cancer peeps. "Shame on you" was my last comment. I'm still in awe that we've been so wrapped up in the mystery of "who is Crisp01?"
I, now, don't feel a bit sorry for her. I did last night. But, after sleeping on it, I cannot. We're all dying. The day we are born and take our first breath, we are dying. Some folks take longer than others. It's no excuse to shit on other people. It's abhorable. I will NOT be a part of someone's angry rants that may affect others for the rest of their lives. Me, not so much. I give a shit. Though, the mystery is a bit titillating. Other than that, I'm only in it for the mystery. Not for her comments. She's a pussy.
Nighty night.
xoxo
anna
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Rough Day...
Please light a candle, say a prayer, send loving vibes to my sister in breast cancer. Danica Martinez passed away last night. If you read this blog regularly, you know that everyone was working very hard to find a marrow match for our dear Danica. Unfortunately, it is too late. Please hold her 3 children (to a single mama) close to your hearts. Please remember that these young women that have lost their battle with this beast have family and friends that live on with this burden of the heart. They were young women that had so much more life to live. Had so much time to find the love of their lives. Had young children that they wanted to see grow up. Had much more time to become the most amazing women in the work-a-day world or the world where one sits on a park bench and ponders the meaning of life. Too much of their lives was spent pondering how long they could stay alive to see all the beautiful things that most folks get to see in an "average" life span.
God speed to you Danica. I know you and Jayme are out there jumping up and down. Laughing and crying with joy to be able to see one another again. I know you're looking out for your fellow sisters in this breast cancer battle. I, simply, hate that you're having to look from afar. I'm certainly glad that you're no longer hurting. You are terribly missed.
Bless your soul, sweet girl.
xoxo
Anna
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