Back to my NEWEST "New Normal" ...

Silas and I arrived back in Seattle late, late last night.  Not so bright-eyed ... but, definitely bushy-tailed.
Our weeks spent in South Carolina will, forever, be some the most difficult AND beautiful of my entire life.
The outpouring of love and prayers and support, certainly, helped carry our family through this most difficult time.  Walking into my Daddy's house for the first time without him there took my breath away.  The pictures.  The smell of him.  His shoes.  His hammock.  His favorite coffee cup.  A forgotten plastic covering to a syringe that was used in a futile attempt to save his life ... that was hidden until Silas found it. His tractor that he would take Silas on rides on ... for hours.  His truck.  I could go on and on about what hurts my heart so, so very much.  Mostly, I will never feel his arms around me or hear his voice of love and reason ever again.
However, what overshadows all of that hurt is what we, as a family, have been blessed AND left with.  We have the most amazing family the world has known.  Yes, indeed.  I'll be cocky about that.  We have the most amazing friends ... all of us.  The amount of food, flowers, visitors, prayers, food, prayers, laughs, hugs, kisses, more laughs, and many late night conversations has sustained us and lifted us up during this saddest of times.
Though Dad's passing was sudden and tragic, I wouldn't change the way he went.  He has always says that he didn't want to linger.  Never wanted to sit in a bed ... wasting away.
Right before he passed, he started humming ... nearly unconscious ... he was harmonizing with someone.  The 911 dispatch asked my Step-Mama what he was doing.  She said, "I don't know why, but he's singing".
My father never harmonized with anyone except his own father.  A force of nature himself, my Pop passed last year.  Can't harmonize unless someone is singing with you, right????
Something tells me that my father wasn't singing for his own entertainment at such a moment.
Something tells me he had someone with him and guiding him into comfort and peace.
In that, I, myself, find peace.
What an amazing man you are, Dad.
I miss you dearly.
Hold you closer than ever.
And, I LOVE YOU, MADLY, dear friend.
Anna