Belated Thanksgiving love ...

This weekend, I'm thinking about my siblings. Giving thanks to them. These are the people that have eaten dirt with me. Chased lightning bugs with me. Skinny dipped with me for years. Been with me during the highest heights of my life and the lowest of lows. They've known me since birth ... either mine or theirs, or both. My brother and two sisters are 3 of the most adorable and kind people I've ever had the honor to meet ... not to mention, be related and close to.
The four of us are a rare breed. All of us are extremely independent. All of us are hard heads. All of us are fighters ... in the best sense of the word.
If push came to shove, I'd pit the four of us against ANY army on Earth.
We've all been so blessed to have grown up with one another and with such an amazing and hysterical family. Cannot imagine a better "breeding ground."
I love you Allison, Angi, and Josh.
I'm so very thankful for you and blessed to have you as my partners in crime.
I give thanks to the 3 of you and your significant others ... and how HARD we laugh, always. We're a rare breed. And, we're so, so blessed with that!
xoxo
Anna
p.s. Poochie-Boy! Here Now, Poochie-Boy!

Priceless...

My Mama-in-law sent this to me today. Hopefully the pic will come up large enough so you can see the house on the right. If not, their lights simply say "Ditto" and there is an arrow pointing to the house on the left! I nearly lost my lunch with laughter.
Enjoy...
xoxo
Anna

Love is bliss...

Well, glory be, Mr. Otis is fitting in here like a fly on a cow pie. I don't believe I've ever seen him behave so "properly" in the 3 years that I've know him. Tootsie, in turn, has not chewed a paper, a shoe, a bill, ALL the recycling, a toy, toilet paper, cat litter, my scarves, my socks, etc. That's a first for her. When left alone, she melts the hell down. The crate doesn't work so well, as she howls. But, then, she gets this old man of a dog, curled up on a dog bed, and her heart is at rest. Man, to be an old boy on a dog bed all day!
Kevin had to leave the house to pick Silas up from Janie's. And, after his leaving to pick Silas up, he returned to find her still cuddled up in the same spot.
I say "Hallelujah!" They both win, as do T and we. Don't wanna put the cart before the horse on this one, but I'm praying that it helps everyone out.
Sometimes Fate's curve balls lead to a Grand Slam!
xoxo
Anna

Welcome home Otis...

Well, the tiny Schumacher abode just inherited another canine. My Love, Otis ... T's "other" dog. Otis has been a part of our family for years. But, after much training, him running rampant upstairs, and hard work on her behalf, the latest hip issues are going to make it virtually impossible for T to care for a strong willed Irish Wolfhound mix considering she still owns a Great Dane. The Dane is well mannered. Otis is a handful. I've never had a problem with him. That's the odd thing. He's a love ... but, he's also a "lug." For whatever reason, the damned dog only listens to me. I've no doubt that it's probably because I'm a lug and accident prone and hard-headed too. If you've read earlier posts, this whole "love affair" betwixt myself and Otis will make more sense. T and I have come to the conclusion that it might just be "meant to be." We're gonna continue to live like sardines in this little can. But, I have to give it a chance. Fate sometimes throws you a curve ball. Gotta go with your gut.
In any case, I'd rather him be here with us as opposed to going to another (a 4th) "strange" family. It broke my heart tonight when we spoke about that option. Tootsie loves him more than any pup in the universe. He calms her and she, in turn, humps him. Don't know why in the hell she does it. But, she does. She is enamored with him and he her. I'm banking on their union saving me more shoes, as I'm down to ONE pair that I am able to wear regularly, as she has this "Mama" separation anxiety deal going on. I've no explanation why this dog behaves nearly perfectly when he's with us. It's quite bizarre. So, we're gonna give it a whirl.
Thus, we now have a new member of the family. Welcome home Otis.
Loves Silas. Loves Us. Loves Willie and Hank. Loves Tootsie.
Here's to new beginnings.
xoxo
Anna
p.s. these pics are of Tootsie and Otis' first meeting. She is, now, his size.

Missing you tonight...

I talk to these two "when I have no one to talk to." It's been over 10 months since Dawg left us. Pop Pop passed nearly two months ago. I had the opportunity to chat with Pop in June about him passing and how much we both meant to and loved one another ... how we would NEVER be apart, regardless of death. It was such an amazing experience to be able to share that, even if was heartbreaking. Not pleasant, yet amazing. Being able to share that moment with such a dear person to me will be one of the pentacles of my existence. It, sort of, closes the circle of relationships and life ... and death ... and whatever follows both.
I did not get to share that with my girlfriend. She did not live the long life she should have been able to live. It still haunts me. An amazing girl. This dry-witted little spit-fire. I just got a reminder on my cell phone yesterday that I needed to "resave" a message. And, it was her. The message was hysterical. It still makes me laugh. But, now, it gives me chills every time I hear her voice. I cannot call her back ... ever. But, I chat with that lady almost daily. I cannot believe how unfair life is sometimes. So, so unfair. I cannot tell you how much I wish she was still here.
xoxo
Anna

Belated birthday love to my soul-mate/sistah...

Well, I missed the boat on blogging about my best buddy's birthday. I did call to wish her some birthday love. But, failed to write a word or two about her here for her birthday (11/10). I won't disclose the year as that would allow you, dear readers, the ability to judge her on a geriatric basis.
Angi Neely Kemp was born on Novemeber 10th in York (or was it Rock Hill), South Carolina, to my sweet Aunt Pam ... my Mama's sister. From that moment on, she was my sister. Now, I would not be born for 3 more years. But, those must have been three VERY, VERY long years knowing that yours truly would be missing from her life for such a long, arduous time!
Glory to the heavens!!! I was born ... 3 years later.
From that moment to today, we have been inseparable ... at least, in spirit. As I moved around so much as a child, I would spend my vacations and summers with her and the rest of my family in South Carolina. She, in turn, would spend her vacations with us ... wherever the Warren clan was at the time.
Angi and I "get" one another more than anyone else "gets" us. We have NEVER had a bitter fight. We are way too tight to even imagine that. We can disagree on ANY subject without withdrawing. We can pull each other out of the darkest of holes. We laugh harder than any two sisters/cousins/friends I have EVER met in my life. We are infinitely comfortable with one another. We are infinitely comfortable in our own skin. We are infinitely dorky. And, we are extremely protective of one another. That happens. After this many years of love and life, I'd rather be set on fire than see her harmed. THAT, my friends, is such a blessing to me, because I know that she feels the same way.
I'll be seeing her and the fam in early March, as I will be attending the YSC conference in Atlanta with my cancer-club girlfriends. Once the conference is finished, Sarah and I will be road-tripping through South Carolina and bunking with my family from town to town. We're gonna have a BALLLLLLLL in Charleston with Angi and I'll be able to show Sarah many of our old college haunts. If I went to Atlanta and did NOT, later, spend time with the family, I would be disowned ... as, Georgia butts up to SC.
I cannot wait to give my girl a big hug and smooch. Cuddle and play with the kids ... and my love Matthew!
So, Happy Birthday my love. I'll be home soon and will give you the BEST birtday spanking ... EVER! I'm so very proud of you and what you've become. A wonderful woman, mama, wife, sister, friend, nurse, and tramp. Way to over achieve!!!!
xoxo
JR

Tuesday update...

Good evening, ya'll.
All's well at the "Shoutmacher" homestead. Kevin is at band practice tonight. A new band ... sort of thrash-metal. The man is a vocal wizard. So, he was asked to head up an existing Seattle band, as he's got the pipes of a God. That guy can sing you to sleep, sing at your wedding, rock the house, scream to demons, hum your baby to sleep, sing the blues, melodically share the Hymn book ... and, certainly, the phone book.
He, also, just got asked to do a voice-over by a music producer that he's worked very, very closely with for years. But, this time it's nothing to do with music. It's, actually, for a video game. Kevin has worked with actors for years. He was the second in command to my agent. He happens to have a great voice. This producer has known him for years. So, now, my husband is picking up where I left off. Oh Lord!!!! Do not tell me I'm gonna have to start singing ...
In other news, my nephew Briggs has been battling the swine flu. He's on his way outta the woods. Angi and Matthew have had him in isolation this entire time. Angi has been holed up with him ... when she's not working. Breaks my heart to know that sweet Briggs has been so very sick.
But, the boy is in the VERY BEST hands imaginable.
Mama is starting to feel it. The chemo. She had a rough day yesterday. We chatted tonight and I told her that I thought that it'd be best if she started to take Mondays and Tuesdays (after chemo) off. She was so sweet and receptive. She was totally nauseated yesterday. She had chemo last Thursday and then has, only, the weekend to recoup. Then, she goes back into a classroom of 3rd graders on Monday. I love my Mama ... but she's crazier than that shit-house rat for taking that nonsense on. This isn't news to her. I've already told her as much.
All I know is that the chemo is working. We've chatted about the mental issues and the physical issues it brings up. The mouths sores, the mental fog, the nausea, the lethargy. It's a bitch. And, I'm so very irate that my Mama has to deal with all of this. But, these symptoms are so, so close to my experience. And, it makes me aware of the fact that the chemo is kicking every last rogue cancer cell in the nuts! And for that, I am grateful!
xoxo
Anna

Congrats my sweet Johnny!!!!

Well, Lordy Do! The salon just got an e-mail from Seattle Magazine stating that my co-worker and dear friend Jonathan had been named Seattle's Best Hair Stylist of 2009.
Holy, frickin', Hank! What an amazing honor. Considering the plethora of salons in and around our great city, I cannot tell you what this means to all of us that work with and love our dear Johnny.
This man is one the hardest workers that I've EVER had the honor to work with. He's been there for me, innumerable times, when I've been facing the worst of news or life situations. He's like a brother to me. His wife and son are his world. His friends are his soul-mates. His work is his passion. He lives and breathes hair. And he is brilliant at said passion.
He is a man truly deserving of this honor.
I'm so, so proud of you my Johnny. I cannot imagine having never met you and had you as my dear colleague and friend for over 6 years.
I hope you find the time, during your busy day(s), to sit for a moment and reflect on how hard you've worked and that, now, EVERYONE knows! You deserve it.
I love you, honey!
xoxo
Anna

Round Two...

Tomorrow marks the second round of chemo for Mama. She has proven to be one of the most resilient folks I've ever witnessed on chemo. Her hair, as noted earlier, is falling out. Not a worry for her. She's more concerned with being able to fit in her damned work-day with 18-20 3rd graders before heading into treatment. That, in itself, is enough to make you want to pull your hair out, sans chemicals. The side-effects didn't get to her too terribly much on the first go round.
Even if she DOES experience an increase in them this second time around, I imagine that she'll take it in graceful stride ... just as she did before. And, if she doesn't, that's fine too.
Go get 'em Sistah (Paw Paw's nick name for you means even more to me now).
So, so proud of you.
xoxo
Pussy Willow

Mama's losing it ...

Her hair that is. Yes indeed. Started this weekend and has continued to come out in clumps for days. Ahhhhhh the memories. She's as chipper as Mary Poppins about it. Actually left me a message saying that it was falling out in the shower and that she "had a good laugh" about it. And, I'm sure she did. But, I cannot help but believe that she's chronicling this in such a happy manner to help me out. Editorializing in order to set my heart at rest. I'm really doing fine with it, though. Honestly, she's a lot like me in the sense that the hair isn't an issue ... or lack thereof, rather.
She's rocking this portion of her treatment. She's continued to teach a load of 3rd graders ... and you thought YOUR job was tough? So, she's gonna have to deal with explaining to 20-something 7 and 8 year olds why she is bald. Thank God I never had to do that. It was a blessing that Silas was so young (7 mos.) and he had no clue.
However, she WILL be coming here for Christmas. I'm sooooo excited. So, I'm sure we'll do the quick explanation of why Nonnie's hair is gone and then he'll fart and then laugh and then run off and TOTALLY forget or care what was said. Children's resilience never ceases to amaze me. Hair or no hair, nipples or no nipples, boobs or no boobs: that child could care less. At least it's been a good lesson in diversity for him. I hope he remains as open and non-judgmental as he is right now. Would be a refreshing change from most of the rest of the human race.
I happened across the lyrics from one of my favorite Billy Joel's songs tonight: Goodnight Saigon. It's written about the young soldiers sent to Vietnam and what they went through. I remember listening to it when I would house sit for my Aunt Sam and Uncle Johnny in Charleston. I don't know why I was always so drawn to it. But, it makes sense now. Reminds me of my Cancer Club girlfriends and our fight:

We met as soulmates
On Parris Island
We left as inmates
From an asylum
And we were sharp
As sharp as knives
And we were so gung ho to lay down our lives.

We came in spastic
Like tameless horses
We left in plastic
As numbered corpses
And we learned fast
To travel light
Our arms were heavy but our bellies were tight

We had no homefront
We had no soft soap
They sent us playboy
They gave us bob hope
We dug in deep
And shot on sight
And prayed to Jesus Christ with all of our might.

We had no cameras
To shoot the landscape
We passed the hash pipe
And played our Doors tapes
And it was dark..
So dark at night
And we held onto each other
Like brother to brother
We promised our mothers we'd write

(chorus)
And we would all go down together
We said we'd all go down together
Yes we would all go down together.

Remember Charlie?
Remember Baker?
They left their childhood
On every acre
And who was wrong,
And who was right?
It didn't matter in the thick of the fight,...

We, held the day,..
In the palm of our hands
They, ruled the night
And the night, seemed to last as long as six weeks
On Parris Island
We held the coastline
They held the highlands
And they were sharp
As sharp as knives
They heard the hum of the mortars
They counted the rotors
And waited for us to arrive

(repeat chorus)

Beautiful song. Not one of us is going down without a fight of mammoth proportions. But, I have a bit of a sneaking suspicion that we're gonna come out on top of our enemy. Just saying ...
xoxo
Anna

Musical reminiscence ...

She happened across one of her favorite Eighties songs tonight ...
The lyrics are pretty damned amazing considering that she and many of her young friends are cancer survivors. We don't want handouts, don't want pity, just want a cure and to make it out of this shit:

OUT OF THE RUINS
OUT FROM THE WRECKAGE
CAN`T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE THIS TIME
WE ARE THE CHILDREN
THE LAST GENERATION
WE ARE THE ONES THEY LEFT BEHIND
AND I WONDER WHEN WE ARE EVER GONNA CHANGE
LIVING UNDER THE FEAR, TILL NOTHING ELSE REMAINS

WE DON`T NEED ANOTHER HERO
WE DON`T NEED TO KNOW THE WAY HOME
ALL WE WANT IS LIFE BEYOND
THUNDERDOME

LOOKING FOR SOMETHING
WE CAN RELY ON
THERE`S GOTTA BE SOMETHING BETTER OUT THERE
LOVE AND COMPASSION
THEIR DAY IS COMING
ALL ELSE ARE CASTLES BUILT IN THE AIR
AND I WONDER WHEN WE ARE EVER GONNA CHANGE
LIVING UNDER THE FEAR TILL NOTHING ELSE REMAINS

ALL THE CHILDREN SAY
WE DON`T NEED ANOTHER HERO
WE DON`T NEED TO KNOW THE WAY HOME
ALL WE WANT IS LIFE BEYOND
THUNDERDOME

SO WHAT DO WE DO WITH OUR LIFES
WE LEAVE ONLY A MARK
WILL OUR STORY SHINE LIKE A LIGHT
OR END IN THE DARK
GIVE IT ALL OR NOTHING

WE DON`T NEED ANOTHER HERO
WE DON`T NEED TO KNOW THE WAY HOME
ALL WE WANT IS LIFE BEYOND
THUNDERDOME

Yup ... looking for life beyond this "Thunderdome" of cancer ...
After thinking about this movie that I had seen years ago ... and forgotten ... it seems so, so much like what our worlds are like. The harsh and barren worlds of cancer survivors.
No cancer survivor-friend of mine is weak. No one asks for handouts. Not one asked for this shit. We, simply, know that we're living with a chronic disease. No cure. I get it.
But, we're here. We're in this "Thunderdome." Trapped. Threatened. Living in fear.
We're not wimps ... we're not lazy ... we're not "sick" ... AND WE'RE NOT ASKING FOR "ANOTHER HERO."
We're, simply, asking for life beyond this "Thunderdome." Praying and begging for The Cure. Praying for life. Praying to see our babies grow to be big boys and girls ... without having this beast on our backs.
I guess cancer is my "Thunderdome."

xoxo
Anna