Have you ever wished that you were someone else?

  I bought a new CD.  The first in a long time.  Adele.  She's wonderful.  Think Amy Winehouse, only much more refined and lilting.   The Album is titled "19."  Get it.

  One line, in one of her songs, is "When you look at me I wish that I was her."

  That's pretty harsh.

   I didn't understand for a while why I was so drawn to that song and that line in particular.

   I realize that it is because I cannot imagine thinking that.

   I've NEVER wished I was someone else.

   I've been upset about love, life, health issues, money, friends, family, work, etc.  But, never, in a million years have I EVER wished I was someone else.  That line is simply foreign to me.

   I don't lead a grandiose life.  I'm, basically, broke.  I'm a  cancer survivor that lives day to day knowing that there is a shadow behind me, reminding me that "I might catch up with you."  I live in a one-bedroom apartment with my family.  I'm thousands of miles away from my southern family.  

  BUT, I've never ... EVER ... wished I was someone else.  I count that as an amazing blessing.  

  No matter what situation.  No matter how horribly my heart hurt.  No matter how I agonized about ANYTHING.  I've never wished to be any other human but myself.

  I'm not trying to toot my own horn.  But, I'm so very cool with myself.  It'd be great, in theory, to be someone else that had never become a cancer patient.  Cancer is a chronic disease.  When people ask me if I'm okay, if I'm "in remission", it's so weird.  I thought, when I was first diagnosed and treated, that once it was done it was done.  Little did I know, cancer is ALWAYS lingering.  So, the whole, "are you in remission" question took a while to settle in to.  I'm fine with it now.  I know what cancer is.  It's an unknown.  I could recur tomorrow.  There are no promises.  But, I have a feeling that I'm gonna be just fine.

   But, my wanting to be another person would mean that I would have to take on their world, including their family, friends, and lifestyle.   NO WAY, BABY!!!!!!  NO WAY.  I've got the most amazing family one could imagine.  I have the most amazing pals anyone could imagine.  I've got the most amazing job, neighborhood, medical staff, pets, hair, car, toothbrush, shoes, and framed pictures that ANYONE could imagine.  If dealing with strife is the consequence of being me, I'll take it.  

  I choose to be me.  That's not to say that I don't get  jealous of some people being able to own a dog, or a house, or a 401K.  But, that's human.

  I, simply, like me.  I love my world.  I'm not someone that thinks cancer is a blessing.  It's not.  Those that call cancer a blessing need to get a hobby, in my mind.  Call me, I'll give you one.  But, it's something that has made me ME.

  Me is just fine.  Me burps in public and laughs with her son when she does it.  Me is the person that flashes her "Frankentitties" to anyone that dares to look.  Me is the one that has the craziest/funniest family on the planet.  AND, we're fairly functional ... imagine that!  Me is the mama who has a child that charms anyone in his presence ... if he's in a decent mood.  

  I'll take "ME."  I like her.  She's pretty fun.  

  But, mainly, along with "Me" comes her family and friends.  Those people are crazy!  They kill "ME."  They are priceless.

  So, my life is priceless.  Top that!