सतुरदय

Looks like you people are ALL about my Gilda. Didn't wanna brag about her in the beginning of the poll. But, she has been my favorite since college days. Interesting that she had cancer, died of cancer, and Gene Wilder helped to set up "Gilda's Club" all over the US. I go to Gilda's for "group." Her face is everywhere. It's bizarre. But, she's a kindred spirit and you can feel that vibe in that gorgeous space.
So, now I'll talk politics. If you don't want to hear my opinion, feel free to log off now..........
Anywho, We all know I'm an Obama supporter. Cannot imagine being anything other than that. This country is screwed. It's an atrocity. My bank just got bought out by Chase. I was never worried about my money, as I know that my $13.99 is insured by our "powerful" government. I, honestly, could care less. I'm broke. I'm fine with that. I know that our economy has sucked for some time. The thing that pisses me off is that our "president", for months OR years, has said that our economy is just fine. What is George Bush smoking? Suddenly, NOW, he is saying that things are amiss.
Don't get me wrong. I'm sick of the partisan and polarizing issues that are present in a, basically, two-party system. I don't think that ALL democrats are fantastic.
But, we're going down. And, if we don't fix this shit. It's not gonna get better. All great empires fall. Throughout history, this has been proven. I would just rather cut to the chase and negate the same thing that has happened over and over and over and...
Obama isn't as seasoned as many. I'm fine with that. Bush WAS ... look what we've become.
Obama focuses on health care. As a breast cancer survivor, I WANT SOMEONE IN OFFICE THAT ACTUALLY FOCUSES ON HEALTH CARE. I want someone in there that is new and fresh and not jaded by all the DC bullshit. I want someone in there that is compassionate. That is the ONLY way we can gain back the respect that this beautiful country deserves. Aggressive ... AND compassionate. There's an idea!
Sarah Palin ... Oh hell, where do I begin. I'm offended, as a mother, that she went full-force into this election KNOWING THAT HER 16 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER WAS PREGNANT AND WOULD BE DRAGGED THROUGH THE MUD. My mother would NEVER have sought fame at my expense. And I would never do that to my child. I think it's sickening. She has a child with Down's. You know what? My amazing step-brother has Down's. I've never seen my step-mother use him as a crutch. He's always been allowed to be his own person WITHOUT his mother holding him up like a flag that says, "HEY, look at me, I'm such a great person because I kept this child." It's disgusting. Oh, and by the way, if you're so pro-life that you don't even agree to abortion if someone is raped, then maybe you shouldn't have a "family meeting" to decide what you should do about your pregnancy when you found out the baby had Down's. It's sick. Hypocritical, at best.
John McCain. You know. I don't think he's a bad guy. But, I don't think that he's some HUGE hero. EVERY member of our armed forces are heroes, REGARDLESS of if they end up as POWs or not. It's a job. Why aren't we hearing about the other POWs.
I've been called a hero for battling breast cancer. AND I'M NOT!!!!!! I cannot reiterate this enough. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I happened upon a disease that I had to fight ... just like EVERY person that I know with cancer. I'm not a hero. I'm, simply, a gal dealing with a set-back. But that does not make me qualified to start running my own oncology ward. I've got the stats and many answers. I've studied the hell out of my disease. But, I'm not a pro. You CANNOT vote for someone, simply, because they were a POW. When you sign up and train in the military, that is a given. You sign on the dotted line, you train, and you KNOW that that might be a possibility. Bless his heart for going through all that torment. But, I DON'T feel like he and I are far off from our own battles. His POW experience is not much different than mine. Well, his lasted longer. But, our treatments may have been parallel. His is done. I'm in "remission". Mine, for the rest of my life, will be back there, somewhere ... waiting to rare it's nastiness. He's free. Oh man, how I would love to hear the words, "you're cured." I won't. I'm dealing with that. I don't want pity, I don't want people to worry, AND I don't want to people to think that I'm some damned hero. I'm not. I did what ANYONE would do to survive. It's not fucking rocket-science!!!!!!!! You fear for your life, you do whatever you can do to survive...especially for that baby that is smiling at you. But, please, please, please don't vote for someone simply because they were a POW.
PLUS ... what was up with McCain not EVER looking Obama in the eyes the other night? He was being a douche.
So, I"m done for now ... I think. But not for long.
xoxo
your "hero" ... Anna
p.s. maybe I should run for president, as I can throw a great cocktail party.

Happyday

So, as you've all been told, I've got some pals with some issues.
Well, sidle up to the bar, I'll pour you a drink and you can listen to this ...
Sweet Jennifer's brain MRI ended up great! Well, not "great", but it WAS NOT CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm doing cartwheels behind the bar. Apparently she has some sort of "gliosis"(?) that is up in her damned brain. This could be caused my any number of things: trama, MS, or a mild stroke. We're not sure what caused it. We don't care. As long as The Beast hasn't returned, it could be a yard gnome for all I care. She's thrilled. I'm thrilled. That's that. Bless you my sweet friend.
In other news, K-dawg went in to move onto a new and VERY advanced form of chemo. It's called Exempra ... or something like that. Her blood test came back fine, as they do those before even letting her do the actual chemo. Unfortunately, she waited half the day to get the damned blood tests back. Good thing several of her best cancer-club girlfriends crashed the infusion center to back her up ... oh, and Silas. Where I go, he goes.
So, she finally got the meds. She was, actually, in good spirits and was her same old crazy-ass self. The other gals had to get going around 2:30. So, Silas and I stayed during the 3 hour infusion, as I wanted to make sure she was okay to drive after the deal was done. She napped. Silas napped. I confiscated most objects in the room that weren't nailed or taped down. Hell, we're paying for it. As soon as she was hooked up to that infusion, she had just bought the bed, the toilet, the two televisions, the mirrors, and the bed pans. I did NOT take the bed pans. I did end up with some lovely robes, blue pee-pee pads (for my agent's incontinent cat), surgical tape (I use that stuff all the time), crackers, juice. My purse looked like it was 12 months pregnant. I don't consider this stealing. I consider it getting back what is owed to US. Oh, and I definitely got some "Splenda". Got guests staying at the house tonight. Gotta make sure we can sweeten their coffee in the AM. Hell, they could be diabetic for all I know.
So, all in all, it was a great day. K-dawg received a shit-load of print outs on other amazing chemo drugs and trial studies from our brilliant co-survivor Korrelly. That lady is amazing. So, that gives her some idea of the amount of meds that are out there to help in the fight.
WE will also be in the forefront of her fight, as she is us and we are her. Cancer is, again, gonna get its ass handed to it.
I know that at any moment, these women would drop everything to be with me and help me in a time of crisis. Cannot tell you how blessed that makes me feel. They are truly my soul-mates.
Have a wonderful night and a great weekend.
xoxo
Anna
p.s. Soul-mates are the new black

वहत

Oh, and by the way. I'm looking at the polls. I find them VERY interesting. Billy Graham? Really? YIKES.
Long live my Gilda!
xoxo
anna

Shit

Well, I'm pissed. Got news today that my sister in the BC fight got some bad results on her latest MRI. K-dawg is a dreamy woman. You know of her from this blog. She's one of my dearest friends. She's as crazy as me ... only, she's quiet about it. She's got 2 gorgeous girls ... one of which was in her belly while she was on her first round of chemo. In any case, K-dawg went metastatic: stage 4. But, she is thriving and living with a chronic disease. It's not lost on me that I might very well be that gal tomorrow. In any case, she got her latest MRI this week. The results weren't what we'd hoped for. Her mets are in her lungs. This, we've known. The original tumor was 2cm. Apparently, after the MRI this week, it's double in size since July. Plus, we've got a new one on her left lung. This lung was, previously, unaffected. But, there is good/great news. There are so many chemo-cocktails that she hasn't been exposed to yet. She's got a huge list of treatments to toss around until she finds the perfect match. AND SHE WILL. I know that she is worried about seeing her girls grow up. I've been there. It's the most nauseating feeling that one will EVER experience. It's unbelievably unfair that young women have to spend time focusing on this retched disease. It's a waste of our life and a waste of our young souls. But, to have young children during the process pushes it to a level that most people could never comprehend. It's Earth shattering. One bares the weight of the world when they think that they might not be around to see their young children grow up. Most people haven't had to deal with it. I have. I can tell you, it's the most disgusting feeling EVER.
Please send love to my sweet K-dawg. I know the new chemo is gonns kick this shit. Plus, we have an amazing amount of other chemo drugs to back it up if it's not the PERFECT match. Holler!
On a different note, my girlfriend Jennifer, in Chicago, had an MRI today that scared her a bit. She had a brain MRI, as she's been having some "issues." The process didn't sit well with her. I think that the techs didn't think before they spoke. Plus, they dragged her through tests that weren't even on the books. Not good. So, she's stressed. I can only imagine that I'd be feeling the same damned way. Please send a prayer/positive vibe/wish/etc. for sweet Jen. She is such a love and such a positive and strong force in the young breast cancer survivor community.
Okay, off to ... clean the THRUSH OUT OF MY MOUTH. No joke. I've been so doped up on antibiotics for my septic-arm that I've, now, gotten the "Thrush." We came up with all kinds of crazy super-hero names for me at work. I'm disgusted. Called my oncologist and said, "Okay, flesh eating virus is one thing, but THRUSH ... OH, HELL NO. I cannot deal with this. I sat in traffic and scraped stuff off of my tongue with a credit card." I hate to say it, but cancer was less invasive than "thrush." What is that name, anyway? It sounds like an apocalyptic warrior. OR, someone on Baywatch.
Disgusting. I'm on high levels of meds. It'll get kicked in 3 days. The funny thing is, half of the folks I talked to about it had gotten thrush! Where in the hell have I been? It's like the poor man's herpes!

Evening

Tonight, I'm gonna rant. It's a rant about our "beloved" health insurance companies. Oh, how I adore them. I know you hear the sarcasm.
As many of you know, I had my reconstructive surgery in April. It was done in April, as all the following surgeries would fit into a calendar year and I would not have to deal with a huge deductible at the turn of the year. I covered all bases. Made sure that everything was covered "in network." I've never used ANYONE out of network.
Then ... and then ... I get a huge bill for my plastic surgeon's head nurse. She's a great gal. But, apparently, she did the final stitching to close me up at the end of the surgery. I had no choice. I did not know that she would even touch me. But, that is a moot point, as I talked to a woman at Healthnet on March 18th. She told me everyone in that OR would be covered - IN NETWORK, as I was told and made sure this was so. Now, Healthnet is saying that the nurse WAS covered ... but, she is covered OUT of network. I appealed this. They noted that I did make the call, but they say that they only told me that everyone in the OR was covered. They say they NEVER told me what level of coverage they would extend.
I find it so trite and hysterical that I would have never covered my ass on this one, as I've no history of ever getting a service from any provider that was "out of network." Plus, I'm the poorest of anyone of my pals. I think it stands to reason that I had that covered. But, because "Sue", the woman I spoke with to make sure all was well, didn't note that our conversation was based on the "out of network" thing, Healthnet has denied my appeal.
I know they think that I'll roll over. I have a dear friend in Seattle that has dealt with the same thing during her breast cancer battle. She appealed, they denied. She appealed again, they denied. On the third try, the insurance company HAS to send the appeal to a 3rd party that has no tie to either of the people involved. Guess what happened after Carrie's 3rd appeal: SHE GOT IT! The 3rd party, basically, said "Duh! Of course you should be covered!" The insurance companies are nauseating. To think that they pull this shit simply because most people don't spend the time to fight them is unbelievable. They know that most people won't push the issue. It's bullying at its best. It's abusive, honestly. How in the name of God can they find it appropriate and Okay???!!!!!!!!!!
So, I'm on it. There is no way in Hell that I"m gonna roll over on this one. No way. So, I'll re-appeal ... is that even a word? If they deny it, they are forced to send it to the 3rd party. I welcome that. They don't want me bringing in providers and them telling the 3rd party how much bullshit they, also, had to deal with in regards to my insurance company.
I was so pissed in the beginning. Now, I'm fine. One way or another, they are gonna have to answer to this. They are gonna have to spend their time dealing with a breast cancer survivor who has been fighting for her life and has been on top of all this bullshit the whole time. Let us not forget that I was diagnosed when Silas was 6 months old. Let us not forget that he is now 2 and I've got much bigger fish to fry than this rancid insurance company. HOPE THOSE BASTARDS CAN SLEEP AT NIGHT. If not, maybe they should find a shrink or a good preacher-man. They screwed with the wrong red-neck.
I've got better things to do with my life and the precious people in it than spend time FIGHTING my insurance company. They should be ashamed. Terribly, terribly ashamed.
Until they see the light, I'll be lighting a fire under their asses that might just send them hollering for the light. Or away from the light, depending on how hot their asses get!
Nighty, night loves.
xoxo
Anna

Few weeks ...

Oh, holy Hank. It's been quite some time since I last blogged. Sorry. I'm getting backlash, left and right.
So, the story goes, I've been damned busy. As you know, I was planning on doing the Breast Cancer 3-day walk. My soulmate and sistah-cousin Angus and her Matthew were flying up to do it. Well, I ended up with some nasty arm infection. I woke up on Tuesday, 3 days before the walk, with some awful cellulitis issue in my arm. By the time I got into my adorable oncologist's office, it had quadrupeled. Needless to say, they were testing me for many nasty viruses and infections. I was hopeful that I could fix it and still do the walk. Not so. My oncologist and the Infectious disease specialist that he sent me to both told me that it, basically, wasn't an option. I even joked that it was a shame that I ended up with the flesh eating virus ... my oncologist, not laughing, said, "well, we're, actually, testing you for it." Yikes. So, family gets in town. Angus, much to my surprise, surprised me with her torn ACL. She hadn't shared. So, it worked out perfectly. She couldn't have done the walk anyway.
I spent a week getting IV antibiotics at Swedish ... daily. Between those fun and loud visits to the infusion center, we drank, ate, played, drank, visited our 3-day team on the walk, drank, ate, and drank. Betty Ford, here we come. We had the most wonderful time. I cannot share the specifics of what my best friend/sister-cousin Angi and I did on Sunday, as we would be arrested. But, we had more fun than we've had in a long time. The boys just sat and laughed ... and drank beer.
So, now it's back to reality. I turned 34 on September 18th. Wow. No big news to me, as I thought that I was already 34 for the past year. Honestly. Every time I was asked, last year, how old I was I would say "34." So, it's been an easy transition.
The YSC has been full of hotness and contempt lately. Love that site. Love the gals. But, again, things have heated up and have become a cluster-fuck. I cannot say that it is HORRIBLE, but it is a mess. I don't want new people to come to those boards and see the mess that we've created. I guess, as humans, that will always be the end result when it comes to something that we feel passionately about. Just don't get people needing to feed the fire ... or, feed the fire incessantly. Or, be nasty, callous, and hatefull. Don't get it. I'm all about being a bitch to folks that cut me off in traffic. I will hand you your ass in those situations. But, on a support board for breast cancer, I think that crap is ridiculous. It's pathetic, actually. I'm done with it.
I had an audition on Friday for a national commercial. It would be a sweet gig, as the "call-back" and the shoot dates are all on my days off. You know what this means: I won't score the gig. That's Murphy's Law. I'm fine with it. I'm just glad to get in there and get some great practice. I've, also, got a pal/client that is interresed in using me in a reading for her theatre company. I believe the gig would be early next year. It's not a definite thing. She's just in the process of figuring out who she might like for the roles that are involved. It's nice to know that someone (a wonderful director/producer) is even considering you for a role without having to even audition for them. Again, it may not happen. But, it's great to know that folks appreciate your work.
Okay, off to bed. I've gotta bang some hair tomorrow and I also have a meeting at work.
Nighty, night my pretties.
xoxo
Anna
p.s. I'm sending a shout-out to my pal ChicagoJen. She's getting scans on Thursday and could use your sweet vibes and/or prayers. She's gonna be A-okay ... I just know it!

   Had a busy weekend.  We are still helping out, a lot, around these parts.   T is still recovering from surgery.  So, we've got lots to do, what with the animals, plants, errands, etc.

  We went to a birthday party last night for our girlfriend Robin.  It was in Georgetown.  Georgetown in south of Seattle ... sort of near Boeing.  It's the new hip/happening spot in Seattle.  

  I gotta tell you:  the space where we had the birthday party might just be the coolest space I've EVER seen.  It's in the tail end of a shop/warehouse.  The room is all brick with wooden pillars.  Lights, couches, juke-boxes, neon signs, rides for kids, rugs, a minnie-bar.  It's gorgeous.  It's hip, but not invasive.  The pics that I've posted are from the party.  Pics of my Mosey riding the motorcycle.  Pics of him riding it with his pals Max and Dexter.  Pics of my dear, dear friends:  another portion of my "Village/Family."  We had a ball.  Enjoy.

  Happy, happy Monday to you.

  By the way, don't forget that I'll be heading out on Friday to do the 3-day walk.  I'll post pics next week.

  It's gonna be hysterical.

xoxo

Anna

Week...

A dear woman from the YSC boards died 2 days ago. She was a young single mother and leaves behind 3 children. I know that she was so heart-broken that she was so sick and feared having to leave them. It's nauseating to even imagine having to leave my son. Danica, you are missed.

Rough Day...

  Please light a candle, say a prayer, send loving vibes to my sister in breast cancer.  Danica Martinez passed away last night.  If you read this blog regularly, you know that everyone was working very hard to find a marrow match for our dear Danica.  Unfortunately, it is too late.  Please hold her 3 children (to a single mama) close to your hearts.  Please remember that these young women that have lost their battle with this beast have family and friends that live on with this burden of the heart.  They were young women that had so much more life to live.  Had so much time to find the love of their lives.  Had young children that they wanted to see grow up.   Had much more time to become the most amazing women in the work-a-day world or the world where one sits on a park bench and ponders the meaning of life.  Too much of their lives was spent pondering how long they could stay alive to see all the beautiful things that most folks get to see in an "average" life span.

  God speed to you Danica.  I know you and Jayme are out there jumping up and down.  Laughing and crying with joy to be able to see one another again.  I know you're looking out for your fellow sisters in this breast cancer battle.  I, simply, hate that you're having to look from afar.  I'm certainly glad that you're no longer hurting.  You are terribly missed.

  Bless your soul, sweet girl.

xoxo

Anna