My Love of Nacho...

Okay ... these are too funny to NOT share. Colie took these pics of my Lady Nacho and me whilst dancing at the party. I love how she continues to hold that glass of Grey Goose level so it doesn't spill as I'm trying to get her to boogy.
Dear Lord, What a fun night.
xoxo
Anna

More pics from Colie's party...

Such a fun night. I think we're all still paying for it a bit. But, we all had such an amazing night. Love, love, love these ladies.
xoxo
Anna

Pics from a fabulous 40th B-day...

Here are some pics that I highjacked from my love Carol. What an amazing night. These girls never cease to crack my ass up. I think I laughed the entire night.
More pics to follow.
xoxo
Anna

Ah "Inscanity"...

On Thursday I will have my first MRI in over a year. Yay!!!!
I, absolutely, loathe scans. It's not the scan itself that renders me a bag of nerves. It's the wait. The waiting to find out if there is some form of cancer that is hiding out in my body.
Cancer is a sneaky little bitch. Many pals of mine have gone in for routine scans, only to come out with the news that their cancer has spread and they had absolutely no idea or any symptoms. It's the worst part of the "healing" process for me. It's just so damned nerve wracking. I'd rather get shot in the leg with a 357 magnum ... knowing that I could get stitched up ... than have to wait for the result of a damned scan.
In any case, the main reason for the scan is that I've not had one in over a year. The other reason is the fact that my radiated side has taken on some real tightness with massy areas. The hope is that it's just scar tissue. Capsular contracture is what it's termed. The body, to protect itself from a foreign entity, builds up scars tissue around foreign objects. In my case, it would be the implant. So, I'm banking on that being the case.
If that is the case, I'll simply have a minor surgery to get all that nasty scar tissue scraped out and all will be just fine.
Here's to scar tissue. I just LOVE me some scar tissue~
xoxo
Anna

Happy Birthday sweet girls ...

Another year. Another blessed year that I have been able to share with two of the most precious women that I will EVER know. Colie and Nacho share this day of their births. These women have become and will continue to be two of the most inspirational people that I will ever know. I know this for certain. They are both extremely supportive, honest, loving, and HIGH-larious. If I had not had these girls in my world throughout all of my struggles, I might very well be in a straight jacket right now. It's amazing what 3 (or so) years gets you. And these two are a few of my very favorite "acquisitions."
Happy birthday beautiful girls. I am in awe of you, daily. And I love you, infinitely.
xoxo
Anna

Zomet Friday, tomorrow...

Man ... it's upon me again. My Zometa and Lupron treatments. Tomorrow, Mr. Mosey and I will head up to Swedish and the "fun" begins. I'll get a blood draw that gets analyzed and sent to my oncologist (STAT) so that we may discuss my levels. He'll feel me up for any strange bumps or masses. Then, I move back down to the Infusion Center where all the cancer patients go to receive chemo, antibiotics, and any other treatment that involves being infused with a prescribed substance that is part of cancer treatment. Oh joy.
Honestly, Zometa has only treated me poorly on a very FEW number of occasions. Problem is, you never know when the next one will arise. It's, sort of, a craps shoot for me. Many of my girlfriends are in bed all weekend with the most awful flu-like symptoms one can imagine. So, I honestly feel lucky that I, generally, get off scott free.
The NCI defines Zometa as the following: A drug used to treat patients with hypercalcemia (high blood levels of calcium) caused by cancer. It is also used together with other drugs to treat multiple myeloma and to prevent bone fractures and reduce bone pain in people who have cancer that has spread to the bone. It is a type of bisphosphonate. Also called zoledronate and zoledronic acid.
Though I don't have an active cancer and I am currently sleeping with NED (no evidence of disease), recent studies have shown that the drug might just prevent recurrence to the bone in women with breast cancer. It's still a new treatment for women in my situation. But, considering that I'm menopausal and that osteoporosis is lurking, this drug does a bang-up job of keeping my bones strong.
So, off we'll go tomorrow. Thank God my son is such a fine young man when I have to take him with me for these long visits to Dr. Fer's. Plus, Dr. Fer is, admittedly, not a fan of children ... and he ADORES his little buddy (and "old soul") Silas.
It'll be good to check in with everyone ... everyone that spent such tireless hours saving my life. For that, I'll take Zometa X 1 million!
Happy weekend, all.
xoxo
Anna

night of investigating heritage...

Man oh man ... just looking at this description of the traits of the Cherokee Indian make sense to me. Why I look the way I do. AND ... they make me want to slap myself for ever doubting that I was of Native American decent. Not that I EVER had a bad taste in my mouth about it. But, I get so tired of so many people saying "Oh yeah, I'm part Cherokee." It just rubs me the wrong way. As if everyone who says it wears it as a calling card or something. I've been happy to own it for years ... but reticent, on some level. But, after doing some research it's pretty clear that the "tooth" ... ah yes ... the tooth that has always caused me grief is a "shovel tooth." Good to know. Silas, actually, has the toe under another toe deal going on ... as does my sister. And, I need not get into how many people think that I'm Asian. Half of them are Asian themselves.
So .............. It appears to be the case. If family lore holds true, it would make me 1/16 ... or thereabouts.
The following is the article I found online. Fits me to a "T."

"High cheekbones where glasses set high on the face and get all smeary on the bottom of the lens. Almond shaped almost oriental looking eyes? Lazy eyes in children. Heavy "fat" eyelids where the eyelid appears to have an extra fold. A melanin (pigmentation) in the back of the eye on the retina peculiar to Native Americans.

"Shovel" teeth, the teeth have a ledge on the backside. Run your tongue across them, they feel almost like a shovel shape. Large front teeth with a slight or more than slight gap. Lack of the Carrabelli cusp on the maxillary first molars, which is missing in Native Americans.

Large heavy earlobes. Crooked fingers particularly the little finger or pinky. An inverted breastbone. Often called a Chicken Breast. The bone actually makes an indentation in the chest.

Little toes that lie under the next one. A second toe longer than the big toe. A wider space between the big toe and second one. An extra ridge of bone along the outside of the foot."

Damn these feet. Now I know from where they came!
xoxo
Anna

The YSC continues to make its mark ...

I have a routine in the morning: check e-mail, check facebook, check perezhilton.com (yes, I do), and check CNN online. So, imagine me doing the same sort of nonsense this morning and about 30 minutes into the same ol' routine I end up on CNN.com. Now, I read most of the stories. I watch many of the videos. AND, I always check the "Health" topic below all of the latest news briefs. I noticed a story about cancer survivors connecting and clicked on it. Low and behold UP POPPED A BEAUTIFUL PICTURE of Courtney, one of the ladies of the YSC that heads up the Atlanta affiliate. It was so shocking to see her there on CNN. The article is great. I was really pleased to also see that the University of Washington is doing a kick-ass job facilitating the connecting of cancer survivors for support and answers.
The link follows. Thanks Courtney for continuing to put the word out, Mama!

http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/04/16/social.network.cancer/index.html?hpt=Sbin

Courtney is a fine example of how many young cancer survivors fight ... day and night ... in hopes that one day we will all see this disease as extinct.
Fight on, fellow warriors.
I'm so very proud of you.
xoxo
Anna

Back to "Rise" by Mr. Vedder

Never shared his lyrics to that beautiful song. So, I'm doing so now:

Such is the way of the world
You can never know
Just where to put all your faith
And how will it grow

Gonna rise up
Burning back holes in dark memories
Gonna rise up
Turning mistakes into gold

Such is the passage of time
Too fast to fold
And suddenly swallowed by signs
Low and behold

Gonna rise up
Find my direction magnetically
Gonna rise up
Throw down my ace in the hole

Youtube it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32Js2Ef5Ojg&NR=1

xoxo
Anna

Oh ... you silly animals ...

Throughout my life, animals have been a big part of my existence. They have played a major role in my home life and my work life. I chose to act professionally over going to vet school ... but, was fortunate enough to work for a veterinarian while studying acting. I've never been too terribly far removed from my "animal fix" during times when I wasn't allowed to own any, as most of my lads and family own(ed) a boat-load.
They have always shown me the resilience that most humans should study, practice, and embrace and the unconditional love that I believe most of us will never comprehend.
AND .... they crack my ass up! Here are a few pics to tickle your funny bits. It might just be me enjoying them. IF it's not your thing, you can return to your internet porn.
xoxo
Anna

Lesson in cinematography ...

Holy Red Hook with a side of waffle fries ...
This video that I found on "youtube" is phenomenal. It combines two of my favorite musical dreams: Sigur Ros and Bjork.
This is a beautiful display of artistic cinematography set to music. Dear Lord, it's gorgeous. There is something about minimalist filming, sometimes. If you find the proper setting, proper music, proper performers ... and a director that is not a total asshole and lacking of artistic merit ... the sky's the limit. Enjoy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ne_u6UZuMG0&feature=fvw

xoxo
Anna
p.s. At one of my baby showers I was gifted with a "Sigur Ros" onesie for my baby by the mother of a girlfriend. Her mama was visiting from Iceland and knew them. I nearly shat myself at that gift. Silas rocked it ... and, of course, shat in it as well.

Hawaii, here we cometh...

Welp ... it's about time.
Silas and I have never left the continental US ... save for my honeymoon in Victoria. But, I don't really consider that leaving the country, as most folks I know spend more time in BC than they do with their own grandparents. My little guy and I have been working pretty damned hard getting our world back in order after our move.
So, when Don mentioned that he has access to a time share in Hawaii, my ears pricked. He's not used it, as he didn't really have anyone with which to share the time. But, he would like to. Well, I can assure you, the three of us have a BALL together. We're all very independent ... including Mr. Mosey. I think most people think that Don and I are married when we're all out together. Just fine by me. He's a true gent ... though, my cousin. It's fitting for our southern roots. Game on, bitches!
So, sometime in June, we're gonna hop our happy asses onto a plane and find ourselves in beautiful Hawaii.
It's so surreal to me that I've never seen this beautiful place, considering that most everyone I know up here goes so regularly. Most members of my family have been there. I'm a water-baby. From the day I was born, I was living or vacationing near the ocean. Cannot get enough of it.
I cannot wait to see Silas playing in the waves for the first time in his life. I cannot wait to see if I can go topless, considering I have no nipples. I don't think I can get arrested for that.
I cannot wait to watch some amazing sun rises and some gorgeous sunsets. It'll be a great experience for all three of us. All of us could use a nice tropical vacation AND A BREAK!
Ahhhhhhhhhh, Hawaii. I'm gonna scrounge up the money to meet you. It's time. Way overdue.
xoxo
Anna

Rise by Eddie Vedder ... sweet song

Such a lovely song ... such a lovely meaning. When we feel like we cannot go on. When the earth is the only thing holding us up, it's amazing to me how resilient human beings can be. I sure hope that I'm of that character. I hope that during these precious years on this earth, I find a way to "Rise Up", take my life by the balls, and make sure I do the best I can to keep it not only floating ... but sailing.
Hope I can rise up and "throw my ace in the hole." For both my son and myself.
Hope I can smile about it. Hope I can one day laugh about it ALL.
And I hope one day ... when I'm an old (and crazy) lady with my millions of animals ... I will have made my precious son proud. And ... I hope on the day that I take that last breath, I can say I've made MYSELF proud. Don't think I'm there yet. But, I sure look forward to that epiphany. Will I ever KNOW that it has happened? Is there a certain moment in your life where you have that "AH HA" moment and realize that your heart is settled, you've made amends, that you've figure out why you did what you did and loved who you loved and ate what you ate and drank what you drank ... and, cried when you cried?
When will it all come to fruition for us as humans? I'm not waiting with bated breath. But, I look forward to a day when I have a bit more of a clue why my path has led me here. Why myself and my family have been forced to wander in the direction that we've been pushed. Guess it was our "calling."
Who knows. Just look forward to knowing. The "knowing" is becoming more and more important to me.
And if, for whatever reason, we don't find out the "whys" ... that's okay I guess. It'd just like to have some sort of clue. Cause we're all fighting. Damned hard. All us ladies. For our children and our families. And, it seems to me that not a whole hell of a lot of us are getting any SEMBLANCE of a break.
In the end, however, we win. Regardless of the path ... MAN, I'm hiking it with some damned fine ladies, family, and friends. Fuck you, Cancer. You lonely Bitch.
xoxo
Anna

Matisse ... my love ...

I was spending some time tonight going through some of my favorite paintings. They always lead me back to Henry Matisse. The man was brilliant. The only play that I've written that was published was named after him: Blind Sided by Matisse. It poked fun at the idea that many artists believe that they know exactly what a piece of art means and that any other interpretations are bogus. The point of the play was that the most important point of the piece is what the creator was going through at a certain point to drive them to create a work of art. The work will stand alone for eternity. But, what inspired it will as well. THAT is of the utmost importance.
Long story long ... his work has always inspired me. His use of color. His, obvious, adoration of women and the female form. I find him brilliant.
AND, a very interesting point: he was a lawyer years before he happened upon painting.
Glad he found his passion. And, I'm so thankful that he continued with it and left us with such brilliance.
xoxo
Anna

He's the Greatest Dancer ...

Yes he is ...
Mister Silas had his 4 year check up today. Dr. Allen said that he was "perfect" and "the sweetest, sweetest guy!" And he is right.
Silas' measurements were great. He's long and lanky. Well, about average height ... but thin and quite muscular.
His vision and hearing are great. His motor skills perfect. He's writing his name, knows all of his letters (and can write them), numbers, shapes, colors, and manners.
Dr. Allen was just thrilled with his visit with Silas. He was just beaming the whole time at our Mosey. And, no wonder that he was so thrilled to spend a bit of time with such a cool dude. Two shots and all Silas said was "OUCH ... OUCH!" Looking at the nurse like she ran over is toes with her Spider Man skateboard or something.
Silas has grown into this amazing young man. He's such an affectionate guy. He's so pensive and thoughtful. I mean, he DOES have his moments ... as kids do. But, damn he's an old soul. He'll dance you off the floor. He'll laugh you out the door. His wit is way beyond his years. His heart has matured at such a young age ... it's as if he's adult sometimes. His energy ... well, he gets that honest. But, he's such a grand boy. Such a compassionate boy. I'm so, so proud of this fine, fine fellow.
I'm in stitches every day. And, that's a beautiful thing.
So proud of you, sweet boy.
xoxo
Mama
p.s. And he IS the greatest dancer:
http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=4810998434981655924&pli=1