We're moving ...

This pictures reminds me that moving isn't a big deal ... even though we've had to do it twice within the past 10 months.   30 to 48 hours of labor ... bringing your child into the world...  is a big deal.  I'm sure you can tell from the pic that I'd not slept in, nearly, two days.  The big deal is our son.  He's the reason that we make the decisions that we do.  We'll have a quaint mother-in-law apartment in one of my agent's homes.  She is ALWAYS looking out for me.  So, when we got bombarded, AGAIN, with medical bills, she came-a-calling.  

We'll be living in the Phinney Ridge neighborhood.  We'll have a gorgeous backyard/garden.  Mosey and I can walk up to the zoo.  We'll be living at the end of a long dead-end street:  no traffic.  This is key, as Silas has inherited the Accident Prone gene from me.

  We've made many new friends up here on Capitol Hill.  We'll keep them in the fold.  But, it's time to move on.

  I want to have a garden party, once we get settled.  I think it would be ideal to call it The Summer's Eve Party.  Douche references are ALWAYS fun.  Sorry Mama and Dad.   I'm your child, so it's your fault that I'm brash.  I can ONLY imagine what Silas is gonna throw at me when he's my age.  Holy Hannah.

  Night, night my sweets.

xoxo

Anna

Weekend ...

  I Gotta blog about soul-mates, as I've got a few.  I have a great group of lady friends that happen to have been "blessed" with cancer.   We gals got together this past weekend for a hen party.  I cannot tell you how much fun we had.  We rented a beautiful, and huge, house on the Hood Canal here in Washington state.  We wanted to have a girl's weekend.  We had many bedrooms, many porches, a hot tub, and a pebble beach down below.  We were out in the middle of nowhere ... as we had wished.

  I can't imagine describing this weekend to you and getting my true emotions across.  It would be impossible.  We had the MOST wonderful time.   A bunch of breast cancer survivors drinking and eating way too much.  We are ladies with one/two/no boobies.  Some are real, most are not.  We are living life as cancer survivors, some of which have "no evidence of disease" and some of which have metastisized to stage 4.  Those of us that are considered to have "no evidence of disease" may find out tomorrow that our cancer has metastisized.  It's common.  It's not lost on us.  And we're prepared.  We'd be in amazing company.

   So, we're all trying to live our "new normal."

   It was a blast.  We laughed so hard that our bellies hurt.  We drank so hard that I, personally, ended up with a cheese-puff stuck to my face upon waking up one morning.  I, now have a scab on my jaw where said cheese-puff molded itself to my skin.  I had to peel the damned thing off in the morning and I've been bleeding ever since.

   Nacho hit her head on the fridge door on Saturday night and none of us could figure out how we could get her to a medic, as none of us could drive.  Plus, we had absolutely NO clue where we were ... exactly.  We were in the middle of nowhere.  I mean, I could tell the 911 operator, "we're somewhere on the hood canal (which runs a couple hundred miles).  There is water (duh) and trees (brilliant) and a bald eagle flew over our heads this morning (we could have been doing acid, at this point).  Isn't that coooooollll!"  She would have chalked it up to a bunch of drunk high schoolers.  Luckily, Nacho's pupils looked fine after we, the experts, checked them out.  We loaded her head with ice and settled in to watch The Breakfast Club.   I ended up sleeping on the deck with K-Dawg  - on an air mattress - watching the moving from outside, just so that we could fall asleep under the stars.  Unfortunately, the air mattress got sick of the air and I woke up on a hard wooden deck.  My hip has a huge bruise.  AND, tonight, I still have this damned scab on my face where that frickin' cheese-puff slept.  Kevin is calling me "Scarface" and strangers are staring at me, as the thing tends to bleed alot ... when I am not aware.  Oh well.  I'm glad to gain this new patch.  I'm like a Girl Scout ... without the cookies

xoxo

Anna

  

Judgmental people

  If you are a person who chooses to judge other people, openly, then you should take a step back and reflect.  Think about the person or thing that you are judging ... in it's most base state.  I think that, during your "deep" process of judging, you should take a step back and look at yourself.  Do you behave, regularly, in a way that might cause you to be judged by others?  Do you talk before you think:  no internal monologue?  Do you know what others think about your behavior and opinions?   Chances are, you don't.  Is it easier for you to spend time judging others and not dealing with your own issues?  

  Are you intimidated by someone:  them, their opinions, and their beliefs?   Do you judge in efforts to squelch your own fears or issues?  By the way, if you do that, you're projecting ... it's not their issue:  it's yours.

  I think we're all guilty of judging people without really knowing them.  Myself include.

  But, for God's sake, look within before you throw your own shit on them.  We will all judge.  I do it more frequently than I care(d) to admit.  But, I don't act out on it, regularly, as I know that I should look within.  I try to do that ... doesn't always work

  I'm not saying that that changes much about me.  I talk non-stop.  I'm loud.  I pass gas in public.  I am a road-rager.  But, despite all of that, I choose not to throw someone under a bus in hopes that I can have control.   It's not appropriate.  It's wasteful.  It's non-productive.

xoxo

Anna

  By the way, those of you that do choose to judge:  everyone around you knows you're doing it.  That's your M.O.  

Karin's back!!!!!!!!!!!

  Our sweet friend Karin is back.  I was spelling her name wrong.  Those of you that have read the blog, know what I'm talking about.  Karin had to leave our block, as some douche in our building called the cops and said that she, basically,  shouldn't be living quietly and non-invasively outside of the building.  Get a hobby, I say.  If you have nothing else better to do than unload about a quiet and docile person, call me ... I'll give you a hobby!   In any case, Karin just got a great new job.  She's working hard.  She's trying to work towards a goal.  Good for her.

  We're moving ... again.  So, we've, happily, unloaded some stuff(s) onto Miss Karin.  Candles ... she said she needed.  Food.  Lots of nice-smelling lotions, food for her sweet kitty.  Ice ... it helps her out, as she has a cooler.

  Karin came up tonight to take a shower.  We had told her some days ago, that if she needed to take shower, just let us know.  She sat with us after she bathed.  We offered her a glass of wine, but she said, "after drinking as a teenager, I haven't really wanted to as an adult."  She, also, hates photos of herself:  I can understand.  But, we took one anyway.  Gotta share her.  She's a doll.  She's a great gal.  She is a wonderful Mama to her kitty.  Send your vibes and prayers out to Miss Karin.  She's gonna be something big.  Plus, she put up with the smell of our cat box, as we had just changed the litter.  Smells like an ammonia factory in here.

  Oh, and by the way.  The other pics are of a date that Silas and I went on, on Tuesday.   Breakfast at "Charlie's."  It was sweet.

Bye, bye Mama ...

 Nonnie has left the building.  Our fun 10 days together are over.

 We just dropped her off at the airport.  So sad to see her leave.  Silas had a ball.  Kevin and I had a ball.  We had so much fun out at the beach house.  We had so much fun sitting here in this apartment.  We spent hours laughing about nothing at all, were hosted by many great people, saw Sex and the City, drank until our livers turned blue, and Mama wet her pants again ... this was due to laughing.  I know when you read this Nonnie you're gonna be ticked that, again, I'm sharing your functions with the world.  But, I'm fine with that ... just glad that I was there to witness it.  Glad to know that I'm not the only gal with bladder issues.

  Mama isn't even on the plane right now.  She's waiting.

  I just hate that she's in the same city, but is still "gone."

  Silas loves his family.  He has an unbelievable time with them.  It's simply a shame that my half are 3,000 miles away.

  In other news, we're moving.  We've been bombarded with medical bills lately.  We're spending way too much living where we do ... and it's not worth it.

  My friend/agent has offered us her "mother-in-law" apartment in hopes that it will help us financially.  It's in her new house.  Our door opens up to her backyard.  It's a beautiful garden with a little pond, to boot.  We'll be in the Phinney Ridge neighborhood ... at the end of a dead end road.  No traffic, no fast cars, no loud noises.  It's gonna be great.  I think that Silas will love it.  We will be able to walk to the zoo now.  "T" is going to have surgery soon on her hips.  So, we will be there to help take care of her during her healing process.  PLUS, I will FINALLY be able to have "my dog" Otis with me all the time.  She's already told me that he can stay with us. So, all in all, it's great.  Bills shmills.  

  Enjoy the pics ... if I can get them downloaded from the interweb.

xoxo

Anna  

Pics

This is the only image that would upload/download tonight.  I think that is pretty telling.  These are my new best friends.  How is it that this was the only image that would come through when I've never had an issue before?!

Those Gays!  They are RUINING my computer!  

xoxo

Anna

Mama's here ...

  Good evening.  Had a wonderful weekend and night.  Mama, Silas, Otis, and I went out to T's beach house as soon as Mama got off the plane.  It was a wonderful weekend.  We lounged, drank, spent time on the beach, drank, laughed, drank, watched "Dirt", drank, laughed, made a fire, drank, ate amazing food, and ...

  Pics to follow.

  Tonight, Mama, Kevin, Silas, and I went to dinner/happy hour with new "My Gays."  You know the boys.  The gorgeous guys we met on July 4th.  I can't really call them "my gays" anymore.  They are my friends now.  I'll call them "The Beauties."  They are all gorgeous, inside and out.  We had a wonderful dinner.  The boys are going on vacation and have decided to do the "Gay Diet."  This means that they are not drinking until they get to Lake Chelan.  I was thrown by this ... but, talked them into sharing cocktails on the "girls' night" that Mama and I are planning on Saturday.  It, I'm sure, will prove to be an amazingly fun evening.  They are TOO kind to break the rules so that we can all make fools of ourselves.  We're gonna dance like fools and drag Mama outta The Cuff by her cane.  Mama and me partying at a gay bar.  Fitting.  We're so excited.

  In closing, if you didn't read the previous post, Jayme passed on Friday.  Jayme's only child is turning 5 on Wednesday, I think.  Her dear friend, and a fellow Young Survival Coalition member, Danica flew to be by her bedside.  Danica ended up with a rare side-effect of chemo:  leukemia.  Danica got chemo on Thursday (last week), got on a plane right after treatment, and flew to be with Jayme and her family.  Danica, not even considering her own treatment, was there helping the family ... namely, Kody, Jayme's young child that will NEVER see his mother again.  Danica was with Jayme when she died.  Danica held her hand and talked to her during the process that we all NEVER talk about:  The dying process.  Danica has 3 children, she's in debt, she is just as afraid of death as any of us.  But, she put all of that aside to support her dear friend.  Danica will ALWAYS be one of my true heros.   What an amazing woman.

  Those of you reading this know my story.  I know that you know what we, as breast cancer patients, go through.  Danica needs to find a donor ... a bone marrow donor.  She's selfless.  That is why she deserves to have all the help in the world.  She has 3 children that need a Mama to be there for them for a long time.  If you can find the time/courage, e-mail me or talk to your doctor about being a bone marrow donor.  I CANNOT DO THIS, AS I'VE HAD CANCER.  I'd do it every day of my life if I was able.   But, I would LOVE to find a donor for Danica.  No member of her family has ended up being a match.  She is obviously a selfless and beautiful woman.  Please help us find a match.

xoxo

Anna

p.s. just tried to upload all my great photos and it didn't work.  Damned computers.

R.I.P Jayme Gonzalez

I know your precious son will be well taken care of.

Please put a good word in for your fellow sisters ... ask the gal running the show to get busy with a cure!

Bless you.

God's Speed.

xoxo

Anna

I'm leaving my husband for gay men that I met on the 4th of July...

  What?!  What's wrong with that?

   They are beautiful.  They live in my neighborhood.  AND ... they are trying to woo me.  How about that?  They may not say that they are wooing me.  But, I KNOW they are.  You best believe.

  Honestly, it's probably gonna end up being a big get-together after Mama gets here.  She'll get to meet my new lovers.  I'm most certain she will approve!  Mama comes into town on the 11th.  We're thrilled.  Silas and I will pick her up at the airport and head off to Topo's beach house for the weekend.  Topo will join us later on Friday night.  It's gonna be a wonderful weekend.

  Today was normal.  I Worked.  Got my hair done.  I don't normally have time to do that at work, as I am pretty busy.  Thank God.  But Joseph did a wonderful haircut and Tesha, my new co-worker, did my color ... or BLEACH, as it were.

  In any case, all's well this evening.  Just got of the phone with a new breast cancer survivor from the Young Survivor Coalition internet board.  She lives in Tacoma.  So, she's close to Seattle.  What a dear, dear woman.  She's adorable.  We had a lovely conversation.  Her last chemo is this coming Tuesday.  Please send "N" your hope and prayers and love!  She's gonna live a long beautiful life.  I can hear it in her voice!

  Nighty, night my lovelies.

  

Fun weekend ...

  NO pics today.  I forgot my camera last night when we headed over to my dear 2nd cousin's house.  Don moved down to Seattle from Alaska some time last year.  I grew up seeing him at family holidays in South Carolina.  He is a love.  Don was in a horrible car accident when he was 17.  He, since that time, has been in a wheelchair.  Don't let that whole wheelchair thing fool you.  There is a reason that people like him are named Don.  They are named that so it is easy to tack "Juan" onto the name.  The man is a lothario.  Ladies love that man.  Fortunately, he has a lovely lady named Joyce that caught his eye and has been a wonderful companion for many years.  We love her.

  In any case, we spent last night at Don and Joyce's place.  We typically go up to Mount Lake and have an amazing dinner and MANY drinks.  Last night was no different.  Last night, we watched the UFC championship.  I'm not really one that is into that crap.  Seeing any animal getting the shit kicked out of it bothers me.  However, these guys chose to do it.  They're making lots of money.  So, I watched.  I found myself getting into the fight.  Yikes.

  Don and I ended up later than everyone debating religion and such.  He's an minister that no longer practices "ministering."  He's very open minded.  I'm a girl that grew up in a really liberal Presbyterian church and have become MUCH more liberal.  I think ALL religions are basically worshipping the same entity.  We're just too stubborn to realize that.

  I found 6 4-leaf clovers in Don's back yard.  I also found a  5-leaf and 6-leaf clover.  Those of you that know me, know my stats.  How in the name of all that is holy can I do that EVERY DAY and I cannot, for the life of me, win the damned lottery!

  Silas hopped into one of Don's spare wheelchairs.  I prepared myself to peel him off the floor or wall.  I was banking on having to wheel him around.  NOT SO.  Silas got into a wheelchair for the first time in his 2 years and began rolling around.  He turned himself in circles.  He went down a long hallway and turned around and came back.  He backed out of corners.  How in the name of Sweet Axl Rose does a 2-year-old know how to operate a wheelchair?  We were all confounded.  In any case, he spent most of last night and this morning in the wheelchair:  inside and outside.  I'm beginning to believe in reincarnation ... more and more.  There is NO explanation for his proficiency in "wheel-chair driving."  NONE.  It was astounding.

   In closing, I want to share with you something that Don had wanted to share with me for some time.  It's from the Bible.  Though I'm more spiritual than "religious", I find many religious writings inspirational.  No matter what religion it is.  I guess that is actually my religion.  

  This is from The Song of Solomon.  One of my favorite books of the bible, as it's quite spicy and risque.  This passage was written for me.  

  Song of Solomon, Chapter 8, Verses 6-10:

   "Put me like a seal over your heart,

   Like a seal on your arm.

   For love is as strong as death,

   Jealousy is as severe as Sheol;

   Its flashes are flashes of fire,

   The VERY flame of the Lord.

   Many waters cannot quench love,

   Nor will rivers overflow it;

   If a man were to give all the riches of 

   his house for love,

   It would be utterly despised."

   We have a little sister

   AND SHE HAS NO BREASTS;

   What shall we do for our sister

   On the day that she is spoken for?

   "If she is a wall,

   We shall build on her a battlement of 

   silver;

   But if she is a door,

   We shall barricade her with planks 

   of cedar."

   I was a wall and my breasts were

   like towers;

   Then I became in his eyes as one who

   finds peace.

AMEN

AMEERICA ... say it like you're constipated!

  I was trying to make that sound like George W.  I cannot sound like him ... no matter how hard I try.  I consider that a BLESSING!  He's an idiot.  

  In any case, happy 4th of July my peeps.  Hope you all had a wonderful day.  It's been wonderful for us.  We had a lovely dinner at Jef and Kris' place.  Then, we walked back down the hill, passed our house and ended up on an overlook by I-5.  It was great, as we could see both Lake Union and Elliot Bay fireworks.  Hundreds of people were there.  Silas had a ball.  Jef and Kris were, of course, there with us.  This was Kris' first "4th of July."  He's from Norway, where they sit inside and drink hot totties all year long.  So, he got to go outside for the first time in his life.  He's gonna kill me for that one.   I think he had fun ... I'm sure he's still having fun, as he and Kevin are out at some bar playing pool.  He's gonna have to drag my husband home, I'm certain.  Literally ... Kevin will need to be dragged home.  He doesn't have hair, so I'm assuming that it will by his undies.  

  So, we're there watching the show and Kevin, suddenly, begins singing the national anthem.  All of a sudden, the entire crowd is singing the national anthem as he was leading the singing and I was mock-conducting.  Those that had a good sense of humor chimed in, the others were lazy bitches!  In any case, it was hysterical.  This huge crowd of people that didn't know one another from Adam just stood singing the national anthem.  Granted, most of us were drinking.  I consider that a plus.  It was so much fun.

  I met a couple of guys that live right there, where we were.  Such sweeties.  I promised them I'd put them on the blog.  Hopefully, the pic I took will make it.  If not, I'm sure I'll pay for it, as they know where I live!  Don't mess with a gay man ... he'll make you pay.  One way or another, the gay man will make you eat it if you don't pay up.  So, my new best friends, if you make it to the blog, you better post a comment so that I might hunt ya'll down and invite you over for dinner.  Plus, I need my damned apartment redecorated.  No joke.  I need a good eye for that stuff, as I'm not as female as I would like.

  So, good night dear readers.  Happy 4th of July.  I'm happy that I live here.  I'm proud of my country and those that support and fight for us.  I, simply, hope that we can find a way to take a step back and take a look at all of this.  I hope that whoever ends up leading us ... and I know it will be MY OBAMA ... will make sure to take a step back and put America back on the block.  Put America back on that pedestal.  I think we all forget how pretty she is!

  Well, I promised I'd show ya'll pics of my survivor girlfriends and myself during The Race for the Cure and such.  Little did I know, unless you're the president of Mensa, you'll never be able to download anything off the interweb.  Just drives me nuts.  I'm no genius ... but I'm not a moron, contrary to popular belief.  I love and loathe this apparatus equally.  Damned computers.  I think I'll be able to download 2 pics from the race and then another from a survivors luncheon this winter.  

  In any case, the race went well.  Well, we didn't race.  We've already had cancer, for God's sake, don't make our asses RUN!  So, we walked.  We walked as a group of girlfriends with our children.  The pink shirts were a dead giveaway that we were survivors.  The looks we got were hysterical and, a bit, sad.  Obviously, the thousands of people at the race were astounded that we, young women with children, had battled "the beast."  They just stared.  Normally, I HATE when people stare.  But, in this case, it's certainly understandable.  

  Now, I will attempt to download some pics from the race and the FANTASTIC after-party at my dear girlfriend Carol's house.  They rented a "jump castle" ... GENIUS!