My girlfriend Bhama sent me a link to a video about cancer.
It's, apparently, VERY eye-opening. However, my dinosaur of a computer won't let me pull it up.
But, do check it out. I know it'll shed some light on why so many young people are getting cancer.
http://www.hulu.com/watch/67878/the-future-of-food
xoxo
Anna
Friday, July 31, 2009
Mama has joined the chemo club...
Well, the jury is in. Mama met with the oncologist on Wednesday and she will be beginning chemo within the next 3 weeks or so.
As she is "Triple Negative", her best defense is a good shot of chemo to help fight recurrence.
Triple Negative cancer is a darned aggressive cancer. As many womens' cancers feed off of estrogen, progesterone, or the HER2NU gene, triple negative feeds off of none of these. Thus, none of the new systemic treatments would work for these women. Where I am able to take Lupron and Femara to negate any estrogen in my body, Mama can't do this because her cancer doesn't feed off of estrogen. Where I am able to take Herceptin to negate the actions of the HER2 gene, Mama cannot because her cancer isn't HER2NU positive. Her cancer isn't effected by the mutation of this gene.
So, it's a slippery slope. One that oncologists deal with VERY aggressively.
Thus, chemo. Triple negative cancer DOES respond to chemo. Quite well, actually.
So, she'll be doing chemo every 3 weeks, as she still wants to try to work. The doctor has set up a regiment that she feels will better Mama's chances of doing so.
I imagine that Mama will do the exact same chemo cocktail that I did ... only not as intensely. This means that the first half of treatment will be a combo of Adriamycin and Cytoxin ... the second half being Taxol. The first half will cause her to lose her hair and deal with major bouts of nausea and/or vomiting. The good thing about modern medicine is that there are so many wonderful anti-emetic drugs (anti-nausea). They are costly, but worth it. I didn't puke ONCE during chemo. I imagine she'll be the same. The second half typically doesn't cause nausea. However, Taxol is a Taxane and it affects the nervous system. So, she will have to deal with peripheral neuropothy and other issues that cause pain in the extremities. Again, there are meds out there that can keep her pain to a minimum.
It's so, so bizarre for me to be dealing with chemo all over again. It's so hard for me to know that my Mama is the one having to go through this. I'd do it in a heartbeat for her, as I KNOW what to expect. She, on the other hand, doesn't. The unknown is the scariest thing. But, chemo is absolutely bearable. Not anything that I'd choose to do for shits and giggles. But, if it's gonna save ones life ...
I, also, so want to be there with her during chemo. And the reality is that I cannot. I've wracked my brains trying to figure out how it would be possible for me to, at least, be there for a few weeks during her treatment to help relieve my brother and sister. Financially, this is not an option for me. I'm the sole bread-winner here right now. And, we're not making it as it is.
Josh and Allison will take wonderful care of her, I know.
Just want to be there, as someone who has "been there", so she has someone that absolutely understands what she's going through. Oh, and to help shave her pretty head.
She's gonna rock it. She's so game for it and ready to just get it over with.
Here's to you, Mama. My fellow warrior and sister.
I'm so, so proud of your strength and courage.
I lover you tho much, tho much, tho much...
xoxo
Anna
As she is "Triple Negative", her best defense is a good shot of chemo to help fight recurrence.
Triple Negative cancer is a darned aggressive cancer. As many womens' cancers feed off of estrogen, progesterone, or the HER2NU gene, triple negative feeds off of none of these. Thus, none of the new systemic treatments would work for these women. Where I am able to take Lupron and Femara to negate any estrogen in my body, Mama can't do this because her cancer doesn't feed off of estrogen. Where I am able to take Herceptin to negate the actions of the HER2 gene, Mama cannot because her cancer isn't HER2NU positive. Her cancer isn't effected by the mutation of this gene.
So, it's a slippery slope. One that oncologists deal with VERY aggressively.
Thus, chemo. Triple negative cancer DOES respond to chemo. Quite well, actually.
So, she'll be doing chemo every 3 weeks, as she still wants to try to work. The doctor has set up a regiment that she feels will better Mama's chances of doing so.
I imagine that Mama will do the exact same chemo cocktail that I did ... only not as intensely. This means that the first half of treatment will be a combo of Adriamycin and Cytoxin ... the second half being Taxol. The first half will cause her to lose her hair and deal with major bouts of nausea and/or vomiting. The good thing about modern medicine is that there are so many wonderful anti-emetic drugs (anti-nausea). They are costly, but worth it. I didn't puke ONCE during chemo. I imagine she'll be the same. The second half typically doesn't cause nausea. However, Taxol is a Taxane and it affects the nervous system. So, she will have to deal with peripheral neuropothy and other issues that cause pain in the extremities. Again, there are meds out there that can keep her pain to a minimum.
It's so, so bizarre for me to be dealing with chemo all over again. It's so hard for me to know that my Mama is the one having to go through this. I'd do it in a heartbeat for her, as I KNOW what to expect. She, on the other hand, doesn't. The unknown is the scariest thing. But, chemo is absolutely bearable. Not anything that I'd choose to do for shits and giggles. But, if it's gonna save ones life ...
I, also, so want to be there with her during chemo. And the reality is that I cannot. I've wracked my brains trying to figure out how it would be possible for me to, at least, be there for a few weeks during her treatment to help relieve my brother and sister. Financially, this is not an option for me. I'm the sole bread-winner here right now. And, we're not making it as it is.
Josh and Allison will take wonderful care of her, I know.
Just want to be there, as someone who has "been there", so she has someone that absolutely understands what she's going through. Oh, and to help shave her pretty head.
She's gonna rock it. She's so game for it and ready to just get it over with.
Here's to you, Mama. My fellow warrior and sister.
I'm so, so proud of your strength and courage.
I lover you tho much, tho much, tho much...
xoxo
Anna
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Welcome home Xander/Sasha
He's here. He's home. And he is amazing!
Xander and his Mama and Papa made it back to Seattle this afternoon. He was called "Sasha" at the Russian orphanage that he called home, since his birth.
I got off of work and headed over to the house to check in and meet my new nephew.
He is a love. He is gorgeous. A little 2 year old "shy" guy that, in 15 minutes, comes out of his shell. And, oh, how he shines. He absolutely adores Robin and Noel ... Mama and Papa.
I was lucky enough to get some one on one time with him: smelling his "stinky feets" as he laughed. He loves phones. As a child that has just left an orphanage, he's not been accustomed to playing with others' phones. So, he was using remote controls and Rob's cell phone to chat ... in Russian. So, I got a call from Kevin and he was able to actually hear, for the first time, someone chatting back. Silas and Kevin spoke to him and he was eating it up. It was adorable. They had no clue what he was babbling about, but it didn't matter. It was beautiful. And they loved it as much as he.
To hear "Mama ... Papa" in Robin and Noel's house choked me up. They've gone through so much to find their son. For years. After meeting this little critter, I can tell you that he was meant for them. I've spent years upon years in their home. When I walked in and saw him on Robin's lap, it was as if he'd been there the whole time.
He was meant to be. And he is wonderful ...
And I am so thankful to God/Buddha/Allah for bringing him to them. And vice versa. Fit like a glove, those three.
He has no idea, at this moment, how blessed he is to have them.
But, he will.
And, I am so thankful to see this woman, that was there THE ENTIRE WEEK of my biopsies and diagnosis, bring home the light of her life.
Here's to you Noel, Robin, Sasha/Xander O'Flaherty. We love you ... positive infinity.
xoxo
Anna
Xander and his Mama and Papa made it back to Seattle this afternoon. He was called "Sasha" at the Russian orphanage that he called home, since his birth.
I got off of work and headed over to the house to check in and meet my new nephew.
He is a love. He is gorgeous. A little 2 year old "shy" guy that, in 15 minutes, comes out of his shell. And, oh, how he shines. He absolutely adores Robin and Noel ... Mama and Papa.
I was lucky enough to get some one on one time with him: smelling his "stinky feets" as he laughed. He loves phones. As a child that has just left an orphanage, he's not been accustomed to playing with others' phones. So, he was using remote controls and Rob's cell phone to chat ... in Russian. So, I got a call from Kevin and he was able to actually hear, for the first time, someone chatting back. Silas and Kevin spoke to him and he was eating it up. It was adorable. They had no clue what he was babbling about, but it didn't matter. It was beautiful. And they loved it as much as he.
To hear "Mama ... Papa" in Robin and Noel's house choked me up. They've gone through so much to find their son. For years. After meeting this little critter, I can tell you that he was meant for them. I've spent years upon years in their home. When I walked in and saw him on Robin's lap, it was as if he'd been there the whole time.
He was meant to be. And he is wonderful ...
And I am so thankful to God/Buddha/Allah for bringing him to them. And vice versa. Fit like a glove, those three.
He has no idea, at this moment, how blessed he is to have them.
But, he will.
And, I am so thankful to see this woman, that was there THE ENTIRE WEEK of my biopsies and diagnosis, bring home the light of her life.
Here's to you Noel, Robin, Sasha/Xander O'Flaherty. We love you ... positive infinity.
xoxo
Anna
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Happy Anniversary Doug and Mark...
We spent the day at Greenlake and juggling fans in this big ol' house of Robin and Noels. I found a fan in the basement and, after being down there, decided that I would try to suck the cold air from the basement and blow it upstairs. This has saved us today. Got that thing at the top of the basement stairs and it feels great here on the first floor. Now, the second floor is a different story. But, we've pulled all the windows open and it's getting better up there.
This evening, we went next door to have dinner with Doug and Mark. Doug and Mark are clients of mine. They just happen to live next door to one of my best friends. They are a gay couple that have been together for 10 years. They have 2 adoptive daughters ... they are biological sisters, by the way. They moved up to Seattle last year after living in LA for a long time.
The day that California passed a law allowing gay marriage, Mark e-mailed Doug and said, "Will you marry me?" Apparently, Doug didn't know that the law had been passed that day. So, he was, like, "huh?" In any case, They got married this day, last year. They are wonderful daddies to Becca and Hannah. They are wonderful friends, clients, neighbors, and human beings. Gracious and honorable. Oh, and they can make a mean dinner of chicken, corn, bread, watermellon, and red velvet cake.
I felt, for a few hours, like I was back home.
Here's to you, Doug and Mark. Happy anniversary.
xoxo,
Anna
This evening, we went next door to have dinner with Doug and Mark. Doug and Mark are clients of mine. They just happen to live next door to one of my best friends. They are a gay couple that have been together for 10 years. They have 2 adoptive daughters ... they are biological sisters, by the way. They moved up to Seattle last year after living in LA for a long time.
The day that California passed a law allowing gay marriage, Mark e-mailed Doug and said, "Will you marry me?" Apparently, Doug didn't know that the law had been passed that day. So, he was, like, "huh?" In any case, They got married this day, last year. They are wonderful daddies to Becca and Hannah. They are wonderful friends, clients, neighbors, and human beings. Gracious and honorable. Oh, and they can make a mean dinner of chicken, corn, bread, watermellon, and red velvet cake.
I felt, for a few hours, like I was back home.
Here's to you, Doug and Mark. Happy anniversary.
xoxo,
Anna
Gonna be a hot one...
Well, today should prove to be a mighty uncomfortable day for the greater Seattle area. Apparently, we're gonna be thrown, head-long, into a "heat wave." Well, a heat wave for Seattle.
Heat in the 90's isn't that big of a deal, really ... IF you live in an area where air condinitioning is a commonality. However, here in Western Washington, it's rare to find a house with AC, as it's not normally needed.
I think we're gonna have to find a body of water that will not cause hypothermia. Green Lake sounds good...
Tomorrow should be FANTASTIC at work, as the AC broke there and it will take some days to get the part needed. With blow dryers, lights, and the good ol' heat wave, we are all gonna be melting by mid-afternoon. I'm booked solid, so I won't be able to take a break and find some coolish air.
However, I'm just thankful to continue to be busy at work when so many people are struggling to even find a job.
Stay cool, fool.
xoxo
Anna
Heat in the 90's isn't that big of a deal, really ... IF you live in an area where air condinitioning is a commonality. However, here in Western Washington, it's rare to find a house with AC, as it's not normally needed.
I think we're gonna have to find a body of water that will not cause hypothermia. Green Lake sounds good...
Tomorrow should be FANTASTIC at work, as the AC broke there and it will take some days to get the part needed. With blow dryers, lights, and the good ol' heat wave, we are all gonna be melting by mid-afternoon. I'm booked solid, so I won't be able to take a break and find some coolish air.
However, I'm just thankful to continue to be busy at work when so many people are struggling to even find a job.
Stay cool, fool.
xoxo
Anna
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Friendship...
Just pulled out the dictionary, as I was curious to know what the "official" definition of many words that are meaningful to me right now might be.
This is what I've read:
FRIEND: 1. a person attached to another by affection or regard. 2. a patron: supporter. 3. A PERSON WHO IS NOT HOSTILE. 4. (cap) a member of the Society of Friends; Quaker.
TRUTH: 1.the true or actual state of a matter. 2. conformity with fact or reality. 3. a verified or INDISPUTABLE fact, proposition, etc. 4. the state or character of being true.
LIE: 1. a false statement with DELIBERATE intent to deceive. 2. to tell a lie 3. to bring about or AFFECT by lying.
REALITY: 1. The state or quality of being real. 2. A real thing or fact. 3. Real things, facts, or events as a whole.
All of these terms can, very well, go hand in hand ... depending on the situation.
I find them to be very, very pertinent right now in my life.
They are words that play off of the word "honor", in my mind. A beautiful word.
xoxo
Anna
This is what I've read:
FRIEND: 1. a person attached to another by affection or regard. 2. a patron: supporter. 3. A PERSON WHO IS NOT HOSTILE. 4. (cap) a member of the Society of Friends; Quaker.
TRUTH: 1.the true or actual state of a matter. 2. conformity with fact or reality. 3. a verified or INDISPUTABLE fact, proposition, etc. 4. the state or character of being true.
LIE: 1. a false statement with DELIBERATE intent to deceive. 2. to tell a lie 3. to bring about or AFFECT by lying.
REALITY: 1. The state or quality of being real. 2. A real thing or fact. 3. Real things, facts, or events as a whole.
All of these terms can, very well, go hand in hand ... depending on the situation.
I find them to be very, very pertinent right now in my life.
They are words that play off of the word "honor", in my mind. A beautiful word.
xoxo
Anna
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Cancer-club evening...
Went to the Cancer Club support group tonight. These women never cease to amaze me. But, what amazes me more is the large amount of new members. I sit there with all my dear "old school" pals and then look around the room. I'm estimating that there are, at least, 8 new young women that have joined the group within the past 6 to 8 months. I'm probably wrong on the count. But, it just astounds me that THAT many young women are diagnosed regularly. They are all at different stages of the dance, but they are all doing just fine. Strong, strong girls.
I, as a young girl, NEVER had this in my world. We moved around, regularly, during my childhood and adolescence. Never did I come into contact with a young woman with breast cancer. My Mama didn't have ANY friends with the disease. Nor were we at all impacted by a friend of a friend dealing with it.
I just wonder why it's become so common now. Now, everyone I know has a family member or friend of the family that has dealt with The Harpy. There has to be a reason that there are so many women affected by the disease. And, I don't believe in the whole awareness bag: that, because of awareness, people get diagnosed.
Well, if they had "it" some years ago and weren't diagnosed, then they would go metastatic ... and without treatment, would die.
I never experienced that as a girl and teenager. Never did I witness random young women getting breat cancer and living with it OR dying from it.
There's something in that.
I don't believe that awareness is the key, at his point. That is not to say that awareness doesn't save lives. It has and it continues to do so.
But, it's become apparent to me that A CURE is what is needed. NOW. The rates of women diagnosed are growing. Why, why, why is what we all want to know. But, it doesn't seem to be followed by a resounding answer.
So ... we need to find the cure. Then, and only then, can we be comfortable in back pedaling and answering the question of "why, why, why?"
My friend Carrie has been asked to speak at a big cancer conference here in Seattle in August. Not only that, but her husband has been asked to speak as well. They are stellar folks and work so hard for the cause. The date alludes me tonight. But, it is in early August at Quest Field. Once I have all the info, I'll post it here. If you're in Seattle, I'll meet you there.
xoxo
Anna
I, as a young girl, NEVER had this in my world. We moved around, regularly, during my childhood and adolescence. Never did I come into contact with a young woman with breast cancer. My Mama didn't have ANY friends with the disease. Nor were we at all impacted by a friend of a friend dealing with it.
I just wonder why it's become so common now. Now, everyone I know has a family member or friend of the family that has dealt with The Harpy. There has to be a reason that there are so many women affected by the disease. And, I don't believe in the whole awareness bag: that, because of awareness, people get diagnosed.
Well, if they had "it" some years ago and weren't diagnosed, then they would go metastatic ... and without treatment, would die.
I never experienced that as a girl and teenager. Never did I witness random young women getting breat cancer and living with it OR dying from it.
There's something in that.
I don't believe that awareness is the key, at his point. That is not to say that awareness doesn't save lives. It has and it continues to do so.
But, it's become apparent to me that A CURE is what is needed. NOW. The rates of women diagnosed are growing. Why, why, why is what we all want to know. But, it doesn't seem to be followed by a resounding answer.
So ... we need to find the cure. Then, and only then, can we be comfortable in back pedaling and answering the question of "why, why, why?"
My friend Carrie has been asked to speak at a big cancer conference here in Seattle in August. Not only that, but her husband has been asked to speak as well. They are stellar folks and work so hard for the cause. The date alludes me tonight. But, it is in early August at Quest Field. Once I have all the info, I'll post it here. If you're in Seattle, I'll meet you there.
xoxo
Anna
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Night watching one of those lock-up shows...
Okay, I'm not sure why I'm into this damned nonsense, but I am. If I see one of the reality prison shows where the camera is in the prison or in the jail-house where those idiots get "booked", I cannot change the channel. Well, only if a commercial comes on. But, then I'm back to that show that shows trannies getting booked for hooking with the guy who "did not know" that "she" was, actually, a man. Please: and I'm Mother Teresa. I know that I should find better things to do with my time. I should read a book, or stop drinking wine, or steal a hybrid car and make it my own. But, that ain't gonna happen. Not when Sgt. Schmitz is gassing the guy in the super-duper-lock-up cell for smearing his own excrement on windows and other officers and such. THAT, my friends, is good TV.
I just don't get it. I don't consider myself to be too terribly stupid OR bored. I KNOW there are folks out there that would disagree...
I think that people that like these sorts of shows must be the same folks that like to smell things that people say, "Holy shit! That's horrible. Do not, for the love of sweet Axl Rose ... do NOT smell that!" And then, of course, they cannot help themselves. They move toward said object. Leery, but with inner excitement.
I, admittedly, am one of these people. It's been a curse all of my life. AND, it doesn't have to be a surprise or anything investigative like that. If you put a piece of roadkill in front of me that had been boiling on asphalt for a week, I'D STILL GO AND SMELL IT! I'm digusting.
How in the name of God I got onto this, I do not know. But, I know I loves me some lock-up shows. Oh, and the shows where they actually interview gay and lesbian couples that have become couples in prison are so, so great. It's like this terrarium-o-love. You know: love in their natural habitat.
Beautiful!
xoxo
Anna
I just don't get it. I don't consider myself to be too terribly stupid OR bored. I KNOW there are folks out there that would disagree...
I think that people that like these sorts of shows must be the same folks that like to smell things that people say, "Holy shit! That's horrible. Do not, for the love of sweet Axl Rose ... do NOT smell that!" And then, of course, they cannot help themselves. They move toward said object. Leery, but with inner excitement.
I, admittedly, am one of these people. It's been a curse all of my life. AND, it doesn't have to be a surprise or anything investigative like that. If you put a piece of roadkill in front of me that had been boiling on asphalt for a week, I'D STILL GO AND SMELL IT! I'm digusting.
How in the name of God I got onto this, I do not know. But, I know I loves me some lock-up shows. Oh, and the shows where they actually interview gay and lesbian couples that have become couples in prison are so, so great. It's like this terrarium-o-love. You know: love in their natural habitat.
Beautiful!
xoxo
Anna
Another sad day...
RIP Elizabeth Colligan.
God's speed to you. Tell the girls we said "hey." Sending all my love to you and your family right now.
Another young mother that breast cancer has stolen from her children.
FIND A FUCKING CURE, ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God's speed to you. Tell the girls we said "hey." Sending all my love to you and your family right now.
Another young mother that breast cancer has stolen from her children.
FIND A FUCKING CURE, ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, July 20, 2009
Gorgeous evening...
What a gorgeous evening. We spent tonight dining in the "out of doors." My dear mama Bhama came over and we dined on spaghetti, salad, garlic bread, and wine. As I've said before, she's back in town. I'm thrilled about that. Another amazing thing: one of the amazing actresses doing the workshop in NYC is a pal of Bhamas. Emily and I chatted about that yesterday. But, it was great to see Bhama's face light up when I surprised her with this. Bhama adores Emily. What are the damned odds? Small, small world. I am by NO means Kevin Bacon ... but I can out-dance that dude ANY day of the week!!!
The pics included tonight are from the disco boat party that my co-worker, Jonathan, threw on Saturday. It was so much fun. I don't think I've danced that much in 8 years. It was a ball. Kevin's attire made him look like JJ from Good Times. All I could hear in my head, when he walked by, was "DYNOMITE!!!!!" I, obviously, wore a white afro wig. One fellow, actually, asked me if that was my "real hair." I wanted to say, either "how much have you had to drink?" or "are your parents related?" But, I didn't. I just laughed and said "I wish." And I do. After hating wearing wigs while acting ... and hating them during chemo (by the way, I didn't wear them), I spent an evening loving that piece of magic. It was so, so fantastic. I think, as a hair dresser, I'm a bit of a hair snob. And, I've always had a thing for "The Afro." Damn, if I could have that hair, I'd pay big, big bucks! I know my African-American/Black/Sistah friends would probably serve me on this, as I know that having to deal with textured hair is a bitch. But, if a genie granted me a "hair wish", it would be to be able to have that blonde afro for a month. After that, I'd probably be exhausted from having to deal with it.
But, for that month, I'd RAWK that SHIZZZ. Loves me a 'fro. Can't it come back?! Please???!!!! I might have to work on trend...
xoxo
Anna
Sunday, July 19, 2009
My peeps at Coyote Rep...
These are my loves from Coyote Rep. These are the people that spent a beautiful summer weekend in a room workshopping a show about my cancer experience and my blog. They must have better things to do with their time, as they all live in New York. But, they have taken time out of their lives to bring awareness to the breast cancer cause.
I spent, nearly, an hour on a conference call with the group getting to know everyone and answering questions ... very candid questions. Everyone was so kind to preface questions with "If this is too personal, just let me know..." Oh hell. They don't know me THAT well, yet. I was glad to answer any question, as I think that it's important that what we go through as young survivors gets "out there." Plus, I'm not the most modest of gals...
I'm so excited to see where this heads. I'm, also, thinking Donnetta might wanna pick up knitting or something just in case this thing falls on deaf ears.
Either way, I'm so thanking for her love and passion about this project that is so very close my heart. Just as she is.
xoxo
Anna
Friday, July 17, 2009
Nice...
Well, the probing went just fine. My esophogus looks just fine. No ulcers were found. However, there is an area of "redness" that the doc biopsied along with a portion of my upper small intestine. Great. Now, I have to wait 7-10 days to see what we've got going on down there. The waiting is the worst. Always has been. So, we'll soon see what we're dealing with. Damned yard gnome has, probably, planted a damned rose garden in my upper-GI tract. Sneaky little fucker.
The Coyote Rep workshop kicked off today in NYC. I noticed, on Facebook, that an old pal quoted something that I've written here, that is apparently in the show: "Soulmates are the new black." I had forgotten about ever writing that. It's amazing how ones life morphs in such a short amount of time, but that phrase still holds true.
We've all met one/several/many people that are willing to befriend or accept us in spite of ourselves ... and we them. Be it family or friend, they will remind us of how to use what we possess to make ourselves better people. They will be the soul mates that we can go to when we feel like there is no way we can trudge forward. They will accept our many faults and still love us in spite of ourselves. They will fight for us no matter what befalls them. They will, after the storm, still be standing there to share their hearts, home, their umbrella, and soul. And, they will ALWAYS be the people that remind us that we've weathered the storm as honest and true friends ... They will help us become better people and we them.
I'm blessed to have known, in my short life, the many family members and friends that I can call my soul mates. It's always a work in progress. But, one thing holds true: Those that stand in the midst of the eye of the hurricaine, for those they love and respect, have hearts larger than the hurricaine itself.
xoxo
Anna
The Coyote Rep workshop kicked off today in NYC. I noticed, on Facebook, that an old pal quoted something that I've written here, that is apparently in the show: "Soulmates are the new black." I had forgotten about ever writing that. It's amazing how ones life morphs in such a short amount of time, but that phrase still holds true.
We've all met one/several/many people that are willing to befriend or accept us in spite of ourselves ... and we them. Be it family or friend, they will remind us of how to use what we possess to make ourselves better people. They will be the soul mates that we can go to when we feel like there is no way we can trudge forward. They will accept our many faults and still love us in spite of ourselves. They will fight for us no matter what befalls them. They will, after the storm, still be standing there to share their hearts, home, their umbrella, and soul. And, they will ALWAYS be the people that remind us that we've weathered the storm as honest and true friends ... They will help us become better people and we them.
I'm blessed to have known, in my short life, the many family members and friends that I can call my soul mates. It's always a work in progress. But, one thing holds true: Those that stand in the midst of the eye of the hurricaine, for those they love and respect, have hearts larger than the hurricaine itself.
xoxo
Anna
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Happy Thursday...
Long day at work today. Slammed to the gills, and glad of it. AFter being in SC for 2 weeks, I'm behind a paycheck. So, that's a bit stressful. But, wouldn't have had it any different. Was so glad to be able to head home and help out with Mama and Pop and see all my dear, dear family.
Tomorrow the Great Probe happens. Just that minor endoscopy surgery. I imagine I'll be out of it for the day and just fine for work on Saturday. Hopfully, we'll figure out all this stomache nonsense that has been going on for months and months on end. Maybe they'll find that mysterious little yard gnome that's been haunting me all these years. In any case, Kevin and Silas will tool around Capital Hill while Dr. Lee probes me. My request for the doctor that "probes" my hidden regions being "hot and have a great sense of humor" didn't really come to fruition. But, he's a really nice doctor and I trust that he'll be a gentle prober.
Off to put the ol' feet up and to wait for the boys to get home from the beach bbq with friends.
Oh, and Robin and Noel are OFFICIALLY parents of sweet Xander O'Flaherty! They sounded over the moon in the e-mail from Russia today. Silas and I are gonna do some artwork and decorate the house to welcome the three home. Cannot wait to meet my new nephew.
xoxo
Anna
Tomorrow the Great Probe happens. Just that minor endoscopy surgery. I imagine I'll be out of it for the day and just fine for work on Saturday. Hopfully, we'll figure out all this stomache nonsense that has been going on for months and months on end. Maybe they'll find that mysterious little yard gnome that's been haunting me all these years. In any case, Kevin and Silas will tool around Capital Hill while Dr. Lee probes me. My request for the doctor that "probes" my hidden regions being "hot and have a great sense of humor" didn't really come to fruition. But, he's a really nice doctor and I trust that he'll be a gentle prober.
Off to put the ol' feet up and to wait for the boys to get home from the beach bbq with friends.
Oh, and Robin and Noel are OFFICIALLY parents of sweet Xander O'Flaherty! They sounded over the moon in the e-mail from Russia today. Silas and I are gonna do some artwork and decorate the house to welcome the three home. Cannot wait to meet my new nephew.
xoxo
Anna
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Cry, the Beloved Country
Love this passage about the truth in the midst of the proverbial turning of tides. The truth ... Ah the truth.
"But the greatest wonder of all is the great machine, that was fighting in the war, they said, and pushes the earth of Kuluse's brother's land over to the line of sticks, and leaves it there, growing ever higher and higher. And even Kuluse's brother, watching it sullenly, breaks out into unwilling laughter, but remembers again and is sullen. But there is some satisfaction for him ... Indeed, there is something new in this valley, some spirit and some life, and much to talk about in huts. Although nothing has come yet, something is here already."
Amen.
xoxo
Anna
"But the greatest wonder of all is the great machine, that was fighting in the war, they said, and pushes the earth of Kuluse's brother's land over to the line of sticks, and leaves it there, growing ever higher and higher. And even Kuluse's brother, watching it sullenly, breaks out into unwilling laughter, but remembers again and is sullen. But there is some satisfaction for him ... Indeed, there is something new in this valley, some spirit and some life, and much to talk about in huts. Although nothing has come yet, something is here already."
Amen.
xoxo
Anna
The play is ON...
So, I talked to my dear friend Donetta who is workshopping a play in New York about my breast cancer experience. She has taken much of the writing from this blog and my other personal experiences with this disease and in life and started the beginnings of a play that will begin being workshopped this weekend in NYC with Coyote Rep. Better yet, one of my dear girlfriends/mentors, the asteemed Joy Vandervort-Cobb, will be flying up to NYC from Charleston to direct the show once it moves into a more "workable" position. Joy is one of the most talented directors/writers/actors/professors/friends that I've ever know. These two women have helped paved the way for many women in not only African American theatre but in the theatre world in general. They are my dear, dear girlfriends and are brilliant colleagues. They've been an amazing support in my cancer experience and continue to be the true, true friends that I've know and loved all these years. I'm very, very blessed to have them in my life.
I'll be conferencing via telephone with Donetta and the cast during rehearsal on Sunday in NYC. I'll keep you posted.
xoxo
Anna
I'll be conferencing via telephone with Donetta and the cast during rehearsal on Sunday in NYC. I'll keep you posted.
xoxo
Anna
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Hood Canal pics...
Just some pics tonight from The Hood Canal. Beautiful, beautiful place to be. Another amazing trip...
Monday, July 13, 2009
Back home...
We're back in Seattle and all's well.
Mama's surgery went very well. Her surgeon Dr. Scott is a frickin' rockstar. Young-ish woman ... much like my own. She's aggressive and positive and extremely knowledgeable. Unfortunatley, when we got Mama's path-report back, we found much more than expected. Not only did she have the DCIS, but she also had LCIS AND a 2.1cm tumor: Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. Invasive Cancer. So, I'm so thrilled that we pushed to get the mastectomies and that Dr. Scott was so aggressive. How in the hell an MRI didn't show that invasive disease is beyond me. I wonder what that radiologist was thinkging?!
In any case, Mama is what is known as a "Triple Negative". Her cancer doesn't respond to systemic therapies like all the little goodies that I've been on for the past few years after treatment. So, chemo is probably the way the oncologist is gonna go, in my eyes. We'll see. But, all my "Triple-Neg" girlfriends agree that she's probably gonna have to do chemo. Mama is A-Okay with it. She wants to be agressive and I am so proud of her strength.
Silas had a ball at home. Spent so much time playing with All his Aunts/Uncles/Cousins/Grandparents.... it was wonderful.
My Pop wasn't doing so well when we made it home. I was able to help out with him while I was home. My Brother and Dad (and their awesome wives) have taken such good care of my grandparents while I've been way far away. Hate that I've not been there, but was able to spend some really good time with him and some private nights together ... chatting. He's hanging in there and is a brave man.
Please send love and prayers to my cousin Clyde and his family. Just got a call that he had a heart attack today. He and his family are loves and drove up to see my family when we flew into SC in January. Please hold them close to your hearts. Love you, Clyde. The world still needs to hear your silly and beautiful laugh, honey! You're a dear, dear person to me and I'm sending all my love to you and Cindy and the family right now.
xoxo,
Anna
Mama's surgery went very well. Her surgeon Dr. Scott is a frickin' rockstar. Young-ish woman ... much like my own. She's aggressive and positive and extremely knowledgeable. Unfortunatley, when we got Mama's path-report back, we found much more than expected. Not only did she have the DCIS, but she also had LCIS AND a 2.1cm tumor: Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. Invasive Cancer. So, I'm so thrilled that we pushed to get the mastectomies and that Dr. Scott was so aggressive. How in the hell an MRI didn't show that invasive disease is beyond me. I wonder what that radiologist was thinkging?!
In any case, Mama is what is known as a "Triple Negative". Her cancer doesn't respond to systemic therapies like all the little goodies that I've been on for the past few years after treatment. So, chemo is probably the way the oncologist is gonna go, in my eyes. We'll see. But, all my "Triple-Neg" girlfriends agree that she's probably gonna have to do chemo. Mama is A-Okay with it. She wants to be agressive and I am so proud of her strength.
Silas had a ball at home. Spent so much time playing with All his Aunts/Uncles/Cousins/Grandparents.... it was wonderful.
My Pop wasn't doing so well when we made it home. I was able to help out with him while I was home. My Brother and Dad (and their awesome wives) have taken such good care of my grandparents while I've been way far away. Hate that I've not been there, but was able to spend some really good time with him and some private nights together ... chatting. He's hanging in there and is a brave man.
Please send love and prayers to my cousin Clyde and his family. Just got a call that he had a heart attack today. He and his family are loves and drove up to see my family when we flew into SC in January. Please hold them close to your hearts. Love you, Clyde. The world still needs to hear your silly and beautiful laugh, honey! You're a dear, dear person to me and I'm sending all my love to you and Cindy and the family right now.
xoxo,
Anna
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