Let's talk about sex...

It's, sort of, an elephant in the closet situation: Sex. Actually, it's that for young survivors that are menopausal. The changes that our bodies go through are astounding ... considering that most women experience this on some natural level. I can remember having the uncomfortable conversation with my oncologist as to why my "nether regions" burned when I was bathing. Soap, toilet paper ... dear GOD, even air hurt that little lady.
The amount of atrophy our bodies go through during a chemically induced menopause are not, simply, confined to our skin tone. Our bones, our eyes, our EVERYTHING atrophies. That includes our vaginas. Sorry to be blunt. But, I don't know many folks out there that are talking about it. AND IT IS AWEFUL. To be quite frank, many women, post chemo, would rather NOT have sex due to the pain that occurs during a process that should be really, really (REALLY) enjoyable. It's not that these women ... myself included ... don't WANT to have sex. However, the thought of the pain becomes a bit overwhelming and overshadows the idea of a good roll in the hay. Our libidos are not that of young women our own age. It's as if we've been tele-ported 30 years into our future.
It sucks.
New products are coming out that help with the pain and the lubrication issues. So, that is really promising for ALL women regardless of age.
Hester Hill Schnipper, an oncology social worker AND breast cancer survivor, has written:

MENOPAUSE AND SEXUAL CHANGES
Even women who had not planned to have more children find it distressing to have an acute menopause due to chemotherapy. Younger women feel suddenly older and saddened by one more way of feeling less womanly. The hot flashes, mood swings, and sexual changes can seem even more troublesome in the context of living with breast cancer. It is relieving to women to be reassured that the lowered (or vanished) libido and diminished responsiveness they feel are normal and likely to improve somewhat over time. In the early days of living with breast cancer, sexuality may seem less important to the woman, her partner, and certainly her doctors. It is ironic that the wish for intimacy and loving may increase during treatment while the desire for sex diminishes. However, as time passes, both sexuality and intimacy regain importance and it is unfortunate that few caregivers address sexuality with their breast cancer patients. There are strategies and products that can help and women should routinely be asked if they would like to speak further about these issues. If a physician does not feel comfortable discussing issues of sexuality, the patient could be referred to an oncology social worker or another therapist who is more at ease with this subject. By not dealing with sexuality, a physician may be unconsciously implying that the breast cancer survivor is less womanly and desirable than she was, or that these are not topics of importance. Both ideas are wrong.

Thanks Hester ... pass the Egyptian Magic!
xoxo
Anna