HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MAMA!

   As I explained to Mama yesterday, I failed to stay on top of things and get cards for the majority of mamas in my life.  Man, I'm an idiot.  You'd think the 14,000 Mother's Day commercials last week would have clued me in.  Damned chemo-brain.  Another perk of cancer:  it, and all of its treatments, are fantastic excuses for ANYTHING.  "Ma'am, do you know why I pulled you over?" ... "No, officer.  Honestly, I was way too busy trying to make sure these horribly mutilated breasts, that are actually portions of other parts of my poor little body due to a flaming case of the breast cancer, were even.  WAS I SPEADING??!!"  Honestly, I've not done that ... YET.  But, I digress...

  My mom's a dreamy gal.  She's the lady that came up to Seattle after I had Silas and slept on our cheap fold-out sofa for 6 weeks, just so I could go back to work AND not have a breakdown that I'd have to leave my baby with a stranger.  She's the woman that took a lot of time off of work and flew up here last month to take care of me AND Silas after my recon surgery.  She's a single woman and a teacher ...  I THINK WE CAN DIDUSE THAT SHE'S NOT RAKING IN HEAPS OF CASH (George Bush is a  jackass ... did I just say that?).   She's the woman I think of when I get homesick.  She's the one that I think of when I see beautiful women in black and white photos.  My mama has every one of them beat.   Stop showing me how pretty your mother was in high school.  It's only going to turn out badly for you!!!  

   My Mama use to fence!  That's right!  En guard!  How f-ing COOL is that?!  

   My Mama can cook the meanest soul food you've tasted.  Growing up on that, I'm surprised I'm not 300 pounds. 

   My mama speaks and laughs louder than ME.  That is truly an amazing feat!

   My mama wet her pants from laughter at the Olympic Game Forest when Silas (then 16 months) punched a llama in the face for trying to take the bread he was supposed to be feeding the poor llama.  My son is obsessed with food.

   My mama is an amazing dancer.  Girl's got the beat.

   My mama is a stellar teacher.

   My mama is an amazing kisser ... in a motherly sort of way you perverts!

   My mama is SO UNBELIEVABLY STRONG.  I think her spirit is virtually unbreakable.

She is just the greatest mother on this planet.  I'm so blessed to be able to call her "Mama."  I'm so blessed to be able to call her my dear friend.  I'm so blessed to be on this planet just to see her face when she looks at my son.  That's even more beautiful than those old black and white photos.

   I love you Mama!  "I lover you tho much, tho much, tho much....."

p.s.  See how I snuck that peeing your pants thing in?!  I had to share it with the world.  I know you'll understand.